At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

The biggest news of the week, of the millenium possibly, entertainment and otherwise, was completely ignored by the media: Aliens from another planet contacted us this week. Their message for humanity: enough of the derivative crap.

In related news, rap “artist” will.i.am was the first person to premiere a song from space.

i.am had his new track, Reach for the Stars, played through the speakers of the Curiosity Rover, which is currently on Mars, and broadcast back to earth.

Meanwhile, back on the above mentioned earth, specifically L.A., Major will.i.am was doing the late night drive home from McDonalds with singer Cheryl Cole, bragging about his whole, FirstSongBroadcastFromMars-apalooza, when he drove his Cadillac into a parked car.

Cole is in an arm sling and will.is.in a neck brace.

Let’s see, late night, a McDonalds run, drove into a parked car – yea, the problem was his martian song.

Speaking of car accidents, this is one of the best stories ever. Justin Beiber was pulled over on an L.A. freeway by a CHIP, and two papparazzi racing to the scene for a picture crashed into each other.

Ironically, all the celebrity web sites have pictures of the scene.

It’s been a long summer with little or no Lindsay Lohan stories to offer. Thankfully, as fall comes into view, Lohan returns to the Fluffernutter fold.

Lohan was presented this week with an unpaid $46,350.04 bill from L.A.’s Chateau Marmont Hotel after a 47-day stay in June and July. She is, says the Marmont, persona-non grata until she has settled her account.

You know, if I was a celebrity looking for a place to stay in L.A., I’d chose a place that doesn’t run to the media, but maybe that’s just me.

The sad news of the death of Sage Stallone, son of Sylvester, comes to a close this week. The LA coroner reports Sage died, age 36, of atherosclerotic coronary artery disease- a heart attack to you and me.

There were no drugs found in Stallone’s blood except a small amount of “sub-therapeutic level of hydrocodone,” or vicodin.

Fluffernutter Chateau Marmont, cheryl cole, Curiosity Rover, Justin Beiber, Lindsay Lohan, Reach for the Stars, Sage Stallone, Sylvester Stallone, will.i.am

Climate change should be the thing that we are all worried and concerned about as humans on this planet, how we affect the planet, our consumption, and how we treat the place that we live in.

will.i.am – Oxford University.

Seems like hypocrisy, but you would be wrong. Flying to a climate change debate in a private “hip.hop.copter,” burning “71.5 gallons of fuel, ploughing three-quarters of a tonne of CO2” for a 286 mile trip and preaching about, how we affect the planet, our consumption is actually OK:

…he’s committed to the issues and he’s written songs about it.’

So you see, it’s not what you do, it’s what you sing that counts.

Actually, isn’t it having a big f’in helicopter that counts?

Update: a small correction was made: quote was closed after the word CO2.

Welcome readers of Small Dead Animals.

Global Warming, Going... Going... Gone Nuts For The Environment Global Warming, Myles Allen, Oxford, will.i.am