At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Your hitting your 40’s feeling pretty good about life, and it comes at you from nowhere: your much, much younger husband is seen, as in pictures in the paper seen, tooling around town with a gorgeous blonde closer to his own age. Soon the evidence mounts that “around town” is not the only thing he has been tooling. What do you do?

If your Demi Moore, and husband Ashton Kutcher has been caught at a hotel with Sara Leal, you go to a Kabbalah retreat.

Didn’t know there where lawyers at Kabbalah retreats.

I always liked Christina Aguilera, thought she had some talent. But if you haven’t seen the pictures from last weekends Michael Jackson tribute in Whales…

Aguilera, X-Tina to friends, came out in a bodice and fishnets, with hair that looked rather, well, uncombed. Problem is the singer hasn’t maintained her girlish figure, and the outfit is truly dreadful on her.

Remember the TV show Friends, when Courtney Cox’s character would put on the fat suit? That’s the same effect Christina Aguilera has on the eyes, except instead of sweaters, she’s wearing a corset.

She later came out in a suit and looked lovely. But it’s time for some of Christina’s people to explain to her, if you want to look your age, you can’t be dressing like your a teenager.

President Obama’s numbers may be down in the real world, but in Hollywood, he’s still The Big O. Case in point, Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas are hosting an Obama fundraiser on October 24th.

The national Latino gala, co-hosted by Eva Longoria, will be at the actors home. It will target Obama’s latino supporters, raising cash for his candidacy. Tickets for the gala cost between $5,000 and $35,800.

Which leads one to ask, Melanie Griffith is latino?

Whitney Houston fell afoul of the flight crew in Atlanta Wednesday when she refused to buckle her seat belt for take-off. The wording here is, “the singer….became irate when members of the cabin crew insisted she buckle up for take-off.”

From the “doth protest too much,” file, the singers reps said she over-reacted a little bit, but, “she is still 100% sober…”

There’s just something about this story which doesn’t pass the sniff test, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Fluffernutter Antonio Banderas, Ashton Kutcher, Christina Aquilera, Demi Moore, Eva Longoria, Melanie Griffith, President Obama, Whitney Houston

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Actor “extraordinaire” and hot head regulaire Sean Penn could be facing up to 18 months in jail for assaulting a photographer last October in the Los Angeles suburb of Brentwood. This is Penn’s umpteenth altercation with photographers and he spend 60 days in jail in 1987 for assaulting a photographer. Of course, in 1987 he was 26. Now at 49 he should know better than to go around kicking people. The fact he doesn’t means he should spend more than 60 days in jail, and if I were the judge he’d see the full 18 months he’s entitled to.

It’s Palin week on the networks as former VP candidate Sarah will be guesting on NBC’s new relaunched Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Tuesday. Meanwhile her daughter Bristol will play Bristol Palin on an episode of  The Secret Life of an American Teenager about teenage pregnancy. The episode will air sometime in the summer.

Whitney Houston is working on her big comeback, trying to revive a career derailed by a bad drug habit and a worse marriage. She was in Australia for a series of concerts this week, but things have not gone as planned. The concerts have been panned, Houston described as “croaking through the show,” took a twenty minute break after six songs. All this would be excusable in the past, but we all know tickets were over $100 a piece, and for that kind of money people reasonably expect a professional performance.

Australians aren’t new to letting performers know when it isn’t good enough. Last year they complained bitterly and demanded refunds when Britney Spears was discovered to be lip syncing during her Australian tour.

Celebrity Tweet of the Week: @lance Armstrong Back from a nice/easy 4 hr. ride. Well it was nice til that cat decided to run right in front of me and I go ass over bandbox.

Andrew Koenig – 1968-2010

Actor Andrew Koenig, who played Boner on the 1980’s sitcom Growing Pains disappeared in Vancouver on Valentines day.  He was due back in Los Angeles on the 16th, but never appeared. His body was discovered this Thursday in Stanley Park, death by what appears to be suicide. he was 41.

One can only offer heartfelt condolences to his family, including his father, actor Walter Koenig, who played Pavel Chekov on Star Trek.

Fluffernutter Andrew Koenig, Bobby Brown, Brentwood, Bristol Palin, Britney Spears, Growing Pains, Jay Leno, Lance Armstrong, Sarah Palin, Sean Penn, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, Tonight Show, Walter Koenig, Whitney Houston

Kevin Costner’s bio lists 45 acting credits. At his peak, he played Wyatt Earp, Jim Garrison (in JFK), Robin Hood and Whitney Houston’s bodyguard. At his best he was Ray Kinsella in Field of Dreams, “Tin Cup” McAvoy and Eliot Ness. At his worst, he was mocked mercilessly for the hugely expensive, and disastrous Waterworld.

But we wish Kevin Costner birthday wishes for none of that.

In 1988, Costner strapped on the catcher gear to play career minor league ball player “Crash” Davis in Bull Durham. Costner captured Davis flawlessly, the perfect foil for Tim Robbins “Nuke” LaLoosh and Susan Sarandon’s southern belle Annie Savoy. A catcher with a better brain than arm, Davis gave us such memorable quotes as

Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic.

and

 I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

It is for his performance as Crash Davis that At Home in Hespeler wishes Kevin Costner a happy 55^th birthday.  Now, about that rumour that your planning to do anothe rbaseball movie.

Uncategorized Bull Durham, Crash Davis, Eliot Ness, Field of Dreams, JFK, Jim Garrison, Kevin Costner, McAvoy, Ray Kinsella, Robin Hood, Tin Cup, Waterworld, Whitney Houston, Wyatt Earp