At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Why don’t I particularly like Leonard DiCaprio? you ask. What could possibly be wrong with him? you’re thinking.

This week, DiCaprio did the same old, same old ALS Ice Bucket Challenge that all your Facebook friends are doing. DiCaprio, however, used it as an opportunity to call out Stephen Harper, whom he seems to dislike, being democratically elected by mere Canadian’s and not Hollywood approved. So from his pious perch, and while visiting the Athebasca oil sands, the little pissant couldn’t resist turning a charity stunt into a political one.

So to answer your question, I can’t stand twerps who can’t let something go, just the one time.

Hibbity-Hop impresario Suge Knight, who was in the car with Tupac Shakur when he was shot, was himself shot this weekend at an LA club.

The – ahem – 49-year old was shot multiple times by a single suspect during a party ahead of the MTV Music Video Awards.

The co-founder of Death Row Records is reportedly resting at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. “Suge is currently resting and has lost a lot of blood, he’s human. He’s done a lot of things for the community and the culture as a whole so we ask that you respect that,” the family said.

It’s one thing when 21-year olds go to clubs and shooting breaks out – it’s not OK, and it happens far too often nowadays, but at least you can see how it can happen. But a 49-year old? And for the record, the fact that a 49-year old man can’t go to a club without risk of being shot is what the family is talking about when they say, “He’s done a lot of things for the… culture as a whole”

David Beckham booted one on his bike Friday morning, dropping his custom built motorcycle on Sunset Boulevard. Becks was leaving a tattoo parlour – cause what he needs is more tattoos – when he apparently swerved to avoid paparazzi, dropping his ride.

Later in the day, Beckham was spotted at LAX with a cast on his right arm.

Who’s dumber than Miley Cyrus? The people who run the MTV video awards? Close, but no. A lamppost? Not really. Jesse Helt? Yes, and who’s that now?

Helt is a young homeless man, whom Cyrus took to the MTV video awards as her date – if by date you mean someone she picked up literally off the street for the express purpose of manipulating him. When she won an award for “Wrecking Ball,” (which should embarrass MTV no end, but won’t), she had Helt go on stage an lecture the assembled on the plight of the homeless. Problem is, Helt has an outstanding warrant for parole violations back in his home state of Oregon.

All the attention, while I’m sure wonderful for Cyrus’ career, meant that Oregon officials took notice. So Helt has now returned to Oregon and turned himself in. He is out on bail, possibly paid for by Cyrus, but having had his 15-minutes – literally actually –  Helt can now face the consequences while Cyrus gets to go on with her privileged little life.

That’s OK though, Cyrus can feel all squishy-goodnessy about herself for raising awareness about homelessness, even if she had to screw over some homeless guy to do it.

And finally, my favourite story in, well forever. While Justin Beiber is egging houses and getting in car accidents and then blaming the paparazzi for causing them, the guys in Motley Crue mocked him this week as “weak.” The Crue guys took hell raising to unheard of heights during the 80’s, so they know a bad boy when they see it, and they don’t see it. According to Vince Neil this week:

“He started with the eggs, which was a little weak – a poor start. Then he got arrested in Miami for drag-racing and that was kinda cool – he was under the influence. Then he got arrested in Toronto and turned himself in. So he’s getting better, but he has work to do…. The next thing he’ll get arrested for is toilet-papering a house.”

Love it when the Beeb get’s taken to school, but as I always say at these stories, will somebody please tell him to pull up his pants.

Fluffernutter, Saturday Morning Coffee ALS Ice Bucket CHallenge, David Beckham, Justin Beiber, Leonardo DiCaprio, Miley Cyrus, Motley Crue, Suge Knight, Tupac, Vince Neil

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Reports out of Hollywood is that Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor will not, repeat not, be scoring or starring in the new Abraham Lincoln vampire movie.

Wait… uhmm… wait. What?

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter?

It appears although Reznor was linked to the project, he never committed and was confused by reports he had.

He’s confused? Now who’ll play Mary Todd Lincoln?

David Arquette has been a pretty big tool since his split with Courtney Cox earlier last year. He’s too immature, she said at the time.

Now she’s telling Harper’s Bizarre she’d rather make it work with Arquette:

If (the marriage) doesn’t work out, I will have huge waves of pain… I don’t know what the future holds and I… still have strong feelings for him.

She also said she was not dating, and not looking to dating, saying, “I don’t even know how that would happen or how you meet people… I’m not great at small talk.”

I’ll make this easy, Courtney: email hespeler@briangardiner.ca, we’ll skip the small talk.

Vince Neil may soon get added to the “Fluffernutter regular,” list, after having another bad week.

In the past month, Neil has been given a fifteen day jail sentence for DUI; released after 10 but ordered to do house arrest for the remainder. House arrest done, ready to make amends and get on with life &tc., his girlfriend up and leaves.

TV reporter Alicia Jacobs, Neil’s girlfriend for seven months, has decided, “due to decisions Vince continues to make,” that she’s not going to go away mad, she‘s just going away.

Fluffernutter Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, Alicia Jacobs, courtney cox, David Arquette, Mary Todd Lincoln, Motley Crue, Trent Reznor, Vince Neil

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Last year Bob Seger suggested on a Detroit radio show that a fall tour was in the works. The fall shows never happened, apparently because Seger put the kibosh on them at the last minute. This year he surprised his people by telling them, reschedule for the spring.

Seger will be hitting select venues in select cities with the Silver Bullet Band, working 30 – 40 dates around drummer Don Brewer’s schedule. Reportedly he will be playing classic Bob Seger music as well as songs from a new, unreleased, unfinished album.

When Bob Seger hit’s the stage, he should take to heart the warning that Jimmy Buffet provides: Buffet was unconscious for ten minutes and spent a couple of days in hospital after falling off the stage in Sydney Australia this week.

Buffet stepped to the front of the stage at the Hordern Pavilion and misjudged where the stage ended, falling 30 feet to the concrete floor below. No word on whether the little birdies circling Buffets head were flying clockwise or anti-clockwise

Rock star rumble: In an article in Rolling Stone a few weeks ago, Robert Plant, justifying his choice to make mediocre adult contemporary instead of reuniting with his old mates, Led Zeppelin, said:

There’s nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, people who have written their story… I don’t deal in that, and I don’t deal in people who deal in that.

Who could he be calling out here? I’m sure we could all think of a few names, but Alice Cooper wouldn’t have been one.

None the less, step right up, Alice Cooper:

Jimmy Page wants to do it. John Paul Jones wants to do it. And they got Bonham’s son, who is a killer drummer. All they need is Robert Plant. But what is Robert Plant out there doing? Playing folk music! What is he doing?

Careful Robert, he’s got a snake.

Motley Crue singer Vince Neil was sentenced to 15 days house arrest Wednesday after pleading guilty to DUI. He was arrested for driving his Lamborghini 60MPH in a 40 zone in Los Vegas last June, and found to be over the legal alcohol limit. And Wednesday was a good day for Neil this week.

By Friday, reports had surfaced that Neil is being investigated for up to $1Million tax evasion.

Tax evasion is no 60 in a 40 zone, as Wesley Snipes can testify.

Not a rock star, but Charlie Sheen think he is one. This week Sheen went on yet another bender, this one ending with TV’s highest paid actor in the hospital. Very Rock Star.

His hospital stay is being reported as a hernia, which is, alas, very not rock star. Sorry Charlie.

She may not be a rock star, but she plays the daughter of one on TV. And now, for the second year running, Miley Cyrus is listed as AOL’s JSYK.com’s “worst celebrity influence.”

See Charlie, that’s how Rock Stars do it.

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