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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Kate Winslet Makes it Look So F&%$in’ Easy Edition

March 5th, 2011
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolor The Kings Speech was the big Oscar winner with Best Movie, Best Actor (Colin Firth), Best Director and Best Original Screenplay.

Highlights of the telecast include the lovely Melissa Leo, who won best supporting actress for The Fighter, saying on national, prime time television:

When I watched Kate two years ago it looked so fuckin’ easy.

pinkfluff The other highlight was jerk off Christian Bale seeming to forget his wife’s name during the thank you’s.

Lowlight was Gweneth Paltrow singing.

fluffincolor The anti-Oscar’s, also known as The Razzies, went off as usual Saturday night in Los Angeles. The Razzies “celebrate” all that is bad in movies, giving awards to the worst movies and performances of the year.

Worst movie of the year went to The Last Airbender, a movie I hadn’t even heard of, but got a $320million box office received a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Worst Actor was Ashton Kutcher for his role in Killers, and worst actress went to the girls in Sex in the City 2.

Unlike last year when Sandra Bullock attended the Razzies and showed real grace and class by accepting her worst actress award, none of the winners appeared this year.

fluffincolor The week that was: Chuck Sheen

Monday: Sheen fired his long-time publicist, Stan Rosenfeld hours after Rosenfeld quit. Sheen has been going off the publicity reservation a fair bit the past few weeks, and his publicist Rosenfeld seems to have had enough. In an interview, Sheen said Rosenfeld had erred in October when defending Sheen’s action:

I respect Stan, he was doing the best he could at the moment. Had I conformed with him, I probably would have come up with something better

Because his improvisations the last week have turned out so well, presumably.

Sheen later said of Rosenfeld: “He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired.”

Tuesday: After a series of bizarre interviews, Sheen joins Twitter, listing as his occupation, unemployed winner. By nights end he had over 400,000 followers, and I‘d make a joke about them being all twits, if only I wasn‘t one of them.

His interviews, meanwhile, continue to be some of the most colourful ever:

It (the AA principles) was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA…
I’m tired of pretending like I’m not a bitching, a total freaking rock star from Mars… You can’t process me with a normal brain…
They picked a fight with a warlock.

He also demanded a raise to return to his hit – ahem – “sitcom“ Two and a Half Men: “I’ll even do season 10, but… it’s 3 mil an episode (he was making $2 million an episode).

The day goes so bad for Sheen, that one media outlet dubbed it, “Charlie Sheen’s Scorched Earth Tour,” and former Two and a Half Men producer Chuck Lorre called it a “…Sprint from from Grace.”

Wednesday: Late Tuesday night a judge removed custody of his kids from Sheen. His ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, complained Sheen threatened her. Not, however, an I’ll kill you, you f%$#in’ bi%$&, kind of threat, but the kind of threat a guy with “fire breathing fists” would level:

I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.

He later tweeted: @Charlie sheen “My sons are fine… My path is clear… Defeat is not an option!”

Is it just me, or should the briefcase full of blow, the bevy of hookers, the outrageous statements in the media and the absolute appearance that Sheen may be having a very public breakdown of some kind not seem reason enough to remove the kids from the home. It takes a direct threat of the jihaddi kind to make a judge step up and protect those kids?

Friday: Sheen set a record with 1M twitter followers in 24 hours. It is now expected Sheen can make $1M on a yearly basis selling ads on his twitter feed. Because what Charlie Sheen needs is greater access to easy money.

Wonder how many twitter followers stop following Sheen once he’s running twitterads? One, I know of for sure.

fluffincolor Christina Aquilera was passenger in a car Tuesday when it got pulled over. She was, according to police, “not capable of taking care of herself. She was incapacitated… She was just intoxicated.”

A few hours in the holding cell to sleep it off, and Christina was on her way without charge.

Not so lucky was her boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, who was driving the car. He was arrested for suspicion of drunken driving.

fluffincolor After a big day being feted by Prince Charles, Catherine Zeta-Jones CBE was punched by a photographer in London. Returning from Buckingham Palace last week, Jones and husband, Michael Douglas, exited their car and entered their hotel in a flurry of photographers.

“How dare you punch me,” Jones suddenly yelled. “I want a police officer right now. He punched me. The guy coming in here, he punched me.”

Douglas, who is recovering from throat cancer treatments, turned to accost the photog.

Good on Douglas, who looks weakened but well these days, for standing up for his wife.

fluffincolorLast week I reported a story in which some in the music industry were criticizing artists who played well paying, private parties for the Gaddafi’s in Libya.

This week, Nelly Furtatdo has announced she will repay what she was given to perform for the murderous dictator. Problem is, Ms. Furtado, payment is only part of the problem. Mu’amar Gaddafi was a murderous thug long before anyone thought of tweeting about it. You had to know, and that says far more about you than paying back the money after the fact does.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Now That’s a Hangover Edition

January 8th, 2011
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorShania Twain, country superstar, modern day Helen of Troy and single for about ten minutes, married her former best friend’s ex-husband, Frederic Nicolas Thiebaud. Don’t feel bad for the ex-friend however, as she struck first stealing Twain’s husband, Mutt “the dumbest man on earth” Lange.6a00e54f0014bd883400e54f8da74b8834-800wi

Twain and Thiebaud were married in Rincon, Peurto Rico on New Years Day. Thiebaud now holds the record for having the best hangover in history.

fluffincolorChuck Berry doesn’t drink or do drugs, but being 84 has got to feel like being hung over more often than it doesn’t. New Years day was a does day, as Berry fell ill during a show in Chicago.

He appeared tired and struggled through an hour of the show before stopping. Fortunately, he came back half an hour later to tell the audience he was OK. Berry’s representatives say he is fine and he is returning to his home in St. Louis.

Here at Fluffernutter world headquarters, we’re mentioning the true legend Chuck Berry when we pull out our prayer mat and bow towards Mecca.

fluffincolorFluffernutter Review in Brief – The Kings Speech: g-g-g-g-g-Great mm-mm-mMoovie. LllllLook for an o-o-o-o-Oscar for c-c-c-c-c-Colin ffffFirth.

fluffincolorJan 1, 2011: 1 1 11: The day all the cuties got married.

Serial cutie #2, Valerie Bertinelli married her second husband, Tom Vitale in California on New Years day. Bertinelli’s first husband, oh lets call him “Mutt Lange II” since “Eddie Van Halen” is already taken, was on hand, as was his bassist, and son with Bertinelli, Wolfgang.

The happy couple have been dating since 2003.

fluffincolorFluffernutter Review in Brief – True Grit: Very true to the story, and very gritty.

fluffincolorDavid Arquette had, to borrow a phrase, one hell of a New Years hangover. How so? He spent New Years Eve partying very hard indeed, then checked himself into rehab the next day.

I’ve had some hangovers in my time, swore off booze, uttered the phrase, “wish I was dead.” But I have never wasted a good hangover checking myself into rehab. That’s a hangover.

fluffincolorSo you had the big New Years Party. You were da’ man! David Arquette left you a message: “I never seen anybody so wasted!” he says.

You groan, roll over, wipe the eyeball boogers from your face and notice for the first time, your not alone: Meg Ryan is in bed with you. Yea well, some guys have all the luck:

John Mellencamp and his wife announced last week they are splitting up. Done. No more. This week the word hit’s the interwebs – do you need more proof – that Cougar is dating the ultimate cougar, Meg Ryan.

Don’t know if he has all the luck, but John Cougar Mellencamp certainly has gotten more than his fair share of it.


fluffincolorGerry Rafferty (1947-2011).

Saddened to hear the news that Stuck in the Middle writer and Baker Street ingénue Gerry Rafferty has died, aged 63, after a long illness.

While Rafferty is best known for the sublime Baker Street, and never forget Right Down the Line, which most obits have done, the most interesting Trivia Pursuit question about Rafferty is that he played in a folk duo with fellow Scot Billy Connolly. The Humblebums recorded three albums, two of the them with Rafferty, before splitting in 1970.

Baker Street is one of the rock eras works of genius. Agorgeous, layered textured song about life on London’s famous Baker Street in the swinging 60’s (where Rafferty busked), it features possibly rocks most famous sax line and a great guitar solo.

Rafferty is survived by his daughter. May he Rest in Peace.

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