At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

In the new book “Primetime Propaganda,” Ben Shapiro argues the television industry is overwhelmingly left wing. Not just that, but conservative/Republican’s are blacklisted in the industry. To be sure, if you have enough talent, or enough success before you get discovered as a conservative, and you’re a fiscal conservative with Libertarian social outlook, you can still work. There are two subjects, however, were according to Shapiro, dissent is not tolerated: abortion and gay rights.

To prove the point, 30 Rock’s Tracy Morgan went off reservation on a stand-up performance last month, that is being described as a “homophobic rant.” The hammer is coming down on Morgan, the same way it did on Michael Richards and Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington. Besides being called out by 30-Rock co-star Cheyenne Jackson (ed: who?) and fellow comedian Chris Rock, Morgan is being called to the carpet by his NBC bosses.

“We will always recognize an artist’s freedom to express him or herself, but not when reckless things are said no matter what the context,” said NBC Entertainment chief Robert Greenblatt.

Understand, along with the heckler case at the BC Human Rights Commission, that there is now one subject completely and utterly that may not be talked about in any way shape or form.

Sad news out of Florida this past weekend.

Bruce Springsteen’s long time sax player and sidekick, Clarence Clemons had a major stroke. Early reports suggested he was paralyzed on the left side of his body. More recent news suggests that Clemons is making “miraculous” progress.

Good luck to the greatest rock and roll saxophonist as he fights his latest health problem.

Gene Simmons and his long time common law wife, Shannon Tweed, had a blow out on The Joyce Behar Show this week. Behar was asking Simmons about his legendary promiscuousness, when Simmons made a small joke about it. Tweed stood up offended and took off her microphone, saying “nice.”

Tweed then paced the room while Simmons tried to talk his way out of it, ostensibly blaming Behar for asking the question.

There has been trouble recently between the two, with rumours of a split circulating. On the other hand, their reality TV show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, begins it’s sixth season next Tuesday.

Speaking of legendary promiscuousness, Hugh Hefner and his affianced, Crystal Harris have split. Five days before the octogenarian and the 24 year old bleached blonde were to tie the knot, Harris broke it off.

“What the hell am I thinking?” she is rumoured to have thought to herself.

Interestingly, Harris is on the cover of this months Playboy. In an interview with Ryan Seacrest she said:

For a while I’ve been having second thoughts… I haven’t really been at peace with myself recently.

It’s all about priorities: first, you get on the cover of Playboy, then you find internal peace.

There’s always one question on the minds of right thinking people: who’s the next Bond girl. It’s one of those issues that affects real lives, and so it is always a going question. Upon announcing the current one, who’s next will inevitably crop up.

So, who’s next?

According to actress Naomie Harris, the next Bond girl will be… Naomie Harris.

Please tell me no.

In March the proiducers of the Broadway musical Spiderman-Man: Turn of the Dark, shut down the show to overhaul the music, storyline and to address safety concerns.

U2’s Bono and The Edge re-wrote their score, and the revamped show premiered this week.

(The show) has become a straightforward children’s entertainment with a mildly suspenseful story, two-dimensional characters, unapologetically bad jokes…

OK, the story rewrite didn’t go so well, what of that reworked score:

The score sounds like a double album of B-sides

Fluffernutter 30 Rock, Ben Shapiro, Bono, Bruce Springsteen, Cheyenne Jackson, Chris Rock, Clarence Clemons, Crystal Harris, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Hugh Hefner, Isaiah Washington, Joyce Behar, Michael Richards, Naomie Harris, Primetime Propaganda, Ryan Seacrest, Shannon Tweed, Spiderman-Man: Turn of the Dark, The Edge, The Joyce Behar Show, Tracy Morgan, U2

Jack White is a multi-instrumental musician who founded the White Stripes with then wife (whom he now calls his sister) Meg White.

He is, admittedly, eccentric with possibly, maybe a touch of the genius.

It’s not, however, for his music that At Home in Hespeler celebrates Jack White today. It’s for a moment in time, caught on film.

In the fabulous guitarist documentary, It Might Get Loud, Jack White, Jimmy Page and The Edge get together. Early in the movie Jack White is talking, saying he thinks special effects are a cheat, a lazy approach to guitar playing. Meanwhile, they are showing The Edge’s special effects being brought onto the soundstage ahead of the guitarists summit – on a forklift truck.

Too funny.

So Happy 35th Birthday Jack White, for the finest example of how not to respect your elders I’ve ever seen.

Birthday Wishes It Might Get Loud, Jack White, Jimmy Page, The Edge, White Stripes

Boy, that Bono sure can be an annoying guy. Certainly I have criticized him on these pages before. I don’t like some rich celebrity coming into my town and telling my government how they should spend my hard earned money. Hey, Bono,yea you talking to Paul Martin, shut up and sing!

I also don’t like rich celebrities constantly telling governments they need to spend more, and more… and MORE, yet then they arrange their affairs to pay the least they can. If you think governments job is to spend lots of money, the least you can do, the bare minimum, is give your fair share. I know you have a legal right to organize your corporation to minimize your tax load, but when you start with all  the talking you take on a moral responsibility to give the maximum you can.

That said, I like Bono. He is, at least, sincere in his beliefs. Bono sings about his political beliefs, puts his politics in his songs. He, in other words, puts his money where his mouth is. I don’t have to always like it, but I respect it. Want to use your celebrity to advance a cause, then use your sell-able talent to advance the cause and I can reject it or not as I please. Bono, virtually alone amongst rock stars, does this.

Frankly, I love his sense of melody. U2 is not my favourite band, not by any stretch. The Edge – which isn’t really a name – is just an alright guitar player in my books. The rhythm section is good, but a tight bass and drum combo hardly makes for great rock, although great rock is impossible without it. What sets U2 apart is Bono’s sense of melody. Songs like Mysterious Ways, Angel of Harlem and Sweetest Thing display an almost playful melodic sensibility. The boy can sing, and he can sing with some style.

But the reason I wish Bono – real name Paul David Hewson – a happy 50th birthday is the following story, as told by Dave Thompson in I Hate New Music:

Bono stands upon the stage, his eyes sharp, his voice steady. Behind him, his bandmates slow the music to a rhythmic throb.  “Every time I clap my hands,” Bono says slowly, “another person dies of hunger.”

He starts to clap. One. Two. Three. The silence in the hall is absolute. Four. Five. Six. The audience scarcely dares breathe. Seven. Eight. Nine. Every time he claps his hands, another person dies of hunger.

And then a voice rings out from the back of the room: “Well you better stop fucking clapping then.”

So happy birthday Paul Hewson, aka Bono, because even if that story is untrue, it’s a great one. And it wouldn’t be possible to believably tell without you.

Birthday Wishes Angel of Harlem, Bono, Dave Thompson, I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto, Mysterious Ways, Sweetest thing, The Edge, U2