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Saturday Fluffernutter: Michael Douglas; Joaquin Phoenix; Stephen Tyler; Ben Shepherd; Jennifer Aniston

August 21st, 2010
Comments Off on Saturday Fluffernutter: Michael Douglas; Joaquin Phoenix; Stephen Tyler; Ben Shepherd; Jennifer Aniston

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorMr. Zeta Jones, Actor Michael Douglas, announced this week he was diagnosed with throat cancer. Mr. Jones will undergo chemotherapy and is “very optimistic,” of a full recovery.

fluffernutterBack in June his son Cameron, from a previous marriage, was sentenced to five years in prison for dealing methamphetamine and possessing heroin. Which just goes to show, even Kirk Douglas’s son, who’s married to Catherine Zeta Jones can have a shitty go of things.

You can, in fact, have it all and legitimately wonder, “why me?”

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Update: Later in the week reports indicate Michael Douglas could lose his voice during the treatment.

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Remember Joaquin Phoenix and the beard? He quit acting to become a rapper, then grew a big hippy beard (because that’s what all the rappers are wearing this Woodstock).  Remember the David Letterman non-interview? Remember there was speculation that it was a fake, a sham? All part of a documentary he was making with Casey Affleck? That was denied. “Oh no, this is real,” he protested.
Yea, all fake. The Casey Afflek documentary on Phoenix’s year as a non-rapping rapper will be released in September.
What a wanker.
fluffincolorAerosmith front man Stepehen Tyler, back on stage after missing the past year when he broke his shoulder falling off a stage, fell off the stage in Toronto this week. Reports are that guitarist Joe Perry bumped Tyler while playing Love in an Elevator. Tyler returned to the stage and joked, “not this time.”
The story as I heard it was Tyler angrily told Perry, “not this time.” A bit of a battle between the Aerosmith frontmen ensued.
Don’t know which story is true, but I like mine better. And if you’re falling off the stage is becoming regular, are you , to borrow Ian Anderson’s phrase, too old to rock and roll?
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Soungarden bassist Ben Shepherd is one happy bottom ender that Soundgarden is doing the always profitable reunion gig. Shepherd is “broke and technically homeless.” And these are the good times:

My whole life seemed over (in the late 1990’s). Soundgarden broke up; my other band, Hater, broke up; my fiancee broke up with me, and then I broke three ribs.

I got addicted to pain pills, drank a ton, and wound up OD’ing on morphine. I was laid out in my house for five days, and no one knew it. It was a f**king horrible time.

fluffincolorI saw the Jennifer Aniston ugly duckling photo shoot last week: the one where she makes herself up to look just like Barbara Streisand. A fine example of how to turn beauty butt ugly in one make-up session.

Want to know what my reaction was: “glad I never laminated that list.”

But this Thursday she was on Regis and Kelly, when she said about the photo shoot:

I play dress up. I do it for a living – like a retard.

Cue the professionally aggrieved, specifically Pete Burns, CEO of Arc:

I was extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate. Frankly, someone in her position ought to know better.

Someone in her position? What, an actress? A fairly average actress who if it wasn’t for the fact she has a very cute, girl next door thing going on you would never have heard of? She should know better than who? The President?

You know who should know better than to say really stupid, intellectually challenged, things: people with CEO on the business card.


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