At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

A large part of the tragedy of the Amy Winehouse story comes via her father, Mitch Winehouse. When Rehab, Winehouse’s ode to denial was a hit he begged fans not to buy the song and album. Your just encouraging her, he said at the time, and it’s going to kill her.

At a private funeral this week, he offered a 40 minute eulogy, telling hundreds of her friends and family while she may have been a troubled star, or a talented singer to millions, to them she was their “angel.”

The poor man humanizes this sad story and makes you wish for a different outcome.

Meanwhile, Amy’s ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil did not attend the funeral. Fielder, who divorced Winehouse in 2009 after a 2-year marriage, is serving a 32-month sentence for burglary and possession of a firearm. While he is reported in “inconsolable,” over the news of her death, he did not ask for compassionate leave to attend the funeral. He apparently didn’t want to attend in handcuffs out of respect for Winehouse and her family. If true, it may be the first decent thing he’s done since he and Winehouse came to public notice.

Ashton Kutcher is a moron. I know, I know, “news flash.” But seriously, here’s what he tweeted after Amy Winehouse died:

I nevr know wht 2 post after paying respect 2 sum1 who died. Just seems lk anything funny is inappropriate. mayB I’ll just go C HarryPotter

Besides making my spell check cry, there is so much wrong with this. Yes, anything funny is inappropriate, but so is dismissively adding you’ll go “C HarryPotter.” Of course perhaps that was a little joke- the very sentence after saying jokes are inappropriate. Sigh.

Here’s the thing, you stupid, stupid man. If you can’t even take the time to spell correctly for a small tribute to someone who has just died, then don’t bother! Better nothing be said than an illiterate rambling that comes across as disrespectful for the deceased, and makes you look dumb as a bag of hammers – very dumb hammers.

Meanwhile U2 does it right, dedicating Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of, to Winehouse.

“We wrote this next song for Michael Hutchence,” Bono told the audience, “but you will understand if tonight we play it for Amy Winehouse.”

Hutchence was the former singer for the band INXS, who committed suicide in 1997.

See Ashton Kutcher, that’s how it’s done, a nice sentiment simply stated. It doesn’t have to be about you.

Sandra Bullok’s ex- moron husband Jesse James has split from the woman he left Bullock for. Tattoo model Kat Von D and James announced this week they have broken up.

Lets see, can’t stick with the wholesome, pretty all American girl, can’t stick with the filthy tattooed skank. Maybe James just doesn’t do this whole relating with other humans very well.

Will they, or won’t they?

Gene Simmons got down on bended knee this week on his reality show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels. Simmons proposed to his long time lover and mother of his 2 adult children, during the finale of the reality show.

After a spat on the Joy Behar show a few weeks ago, it looked like splitsville for the pair. Wether the proposal was filmed before or since the Behar show, I can’t seem to find out.I Guess we have to tune in next season to see what she says.

It’s all so romantic.

Not everybody split up this week, some people were reconciling. Case in point: Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

The two had fallen out previously, but this week Lohan turned up at a Hilton party. While the two did not hug, kiss and/or announce an upcoming night on the town sans underwear, the appearance marks the first time the two have been seen in the same space in some time.

You know what Paris and Lindsay together means, don’t you. Means we here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters are going to have a banner season.

Fluffernutter Amy Wi, Ashton Kutcher, Blake Fielder-Civil, Bono, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Jesse James, Kat Von D, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Hutchence, Mitch Winehouse, Paris Hilton, Sandra Bullock, Shannon Tweed, U2

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

In the new book “Primetime Propaganda,” Ben Shapiro argues the television industry is overwhelmingly left wing. Not just that, but conservative/Republican’s are blacklisted in the industry. To be sure, if you have enough talent, or enough success before you get discovered as a conservative, and you’re a fiscal conservative with Libertarian social outlook, you can still work. There are two subjects, however, were according to Shapiro, dissent is not tolerated: abortion and gay rights.

To prove the point, 30 Rock’s Tracy Morgan went off reservation on a stand-up performance last month, that is being described as a “homophobic rant.” The hammer is coming down on Morgan, the same way it did on Michael Richards and Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington. Besides being called out by 30-Rock co-star Cheyenne Jackson (ed: who?) and fellow comedian Chris Rock, Morgan is being called to the carpet by his NBC bosses.

“We will always recognize an artist’s freedom to express him or herself, but not when reckless things are said no matter what the context,” said NBC Entertainment chief Robert Greenblatt.

Understand, along with the heckler case at the BC Human Rights Commission, that there is now one subject completely and utterly that may not be talked about in any way shape or form.

Sad news out of Florida this past weekend.

Bruce Springsteen’s long time sax player and sidekick, Clarence Clemons had a major stroke. Early reports suggested he was paralyzed on the left side of his body. More recent news suggests that Clemons is making “miraculous” progress.

Good luck to the greatest rock and roll saxophonist as he fights his latest health problem.

Gene Simmons and his long time common law wife, Shannon Tweed, had a blow out on The Joyce Behar Show this week. Behar was asking Simmons about his legendary promiscuousness, when Simmons made a small joke about it. Tweed stood up offended and took off her microphone, saying “nice.”

Tweed then paced the room while Simmons tried to talk his way out of it, ostensibly blaming Behar for asking the question.

There has been trouble recently between the two, with rumours of a split circulating. On the other hand, their reality TV show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, begins it’s sixth season next Tuesday.

Speaking of legendary promiscuousness, Hugh Hefner and his affianced, Crystal Harris have split. Five days before the octogenarian and the 24 year old bleached blonde were to tie the knot, Harris broke it off.

“What the hell am I thinking?” she is rumoured to have thought to herself.

Interestingly, Harris is on the cover of this months Playboy. In an interview with Ryan Seacrest she said:

For a while I’ve been having second thoughts… I haven’t really been at peace with myself recently.

It’s all about priorities: first, you get on the cover of Playboy, then you find internal peace.

There’s always one question on the minds of right thinking people: who’s the next Bond girl. It’s one of those issues that affects real lives, and so it is always a going question. Upon announcing the current one, who’s next will inevitably crop up.

So, who’s next?

According to actress Naomie Harris, the next Bond girl will be… Naomie Harris.

Please tell me no.

In March the proiducers of the Broadway musical Spiderman-Man: Turn of the Dark, shut down the show to overhaul the music, storyline and to address safety concerns.

U2’s Bono and The Edge re-wrote their score, and the revamped show premiered this week.

(The show) has become a straightforward children’s entertainment with a mildly suspenseful story, two-dimensional characters, unapologetically bad jokes…

OK, the story rewrite didn’t go so well, what of that reworked score:

The score sounds like a double album of B-sides

Fluffernutter 30 Rock, Ben Shapiro, Bono, Bruce Springsteen, Cheyenne Jackson, Chris Rock, Clarence Clemons, Crystal Harris, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Hugh Hefner, Isaiah Washington, Joyce Behar, Michael Richards, Naomie Harris, Primetime Propaganda, Ryan Seacrest, Shannon Tweed, Spiderman-Man: Turn of the Dark, The Edge, The Joyce Behar Show, Tracy Morgan, U2