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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Now That’s a Hangover Edition

January 8th, 2011
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorShania Twain, country superstar, modern day Helen of Troy and single for about ten minutes, married her former best friend’s ex-husband, Frederic Nicolas Thiebaud. Don’t feel bad for the ex-friend however, as she struck first stealing Twain’s husband, Mutt “the dumbest man on earth” Lange.6a00e54f0014bd883400e54f8da74b8834-800wi

Twain and Thiebaud were married in Rincon, Peurto Rico on New Years Day. Thiebaud now holds the record for having the best hangover in history.

fluffincolorChuck Berry doesn’t drink or do drugs, but being 84 has got to feel like being hung over more often than it doesn’t. New Years day was a does day, as Berry fell ill during a show in Chicago.

He appeared tired and struggled through an hour of the show before stopping. Fortunately, he came back half an hour later to tell the audience he was OK. Berry’s representatives say he is fine and he is returning to his home in St. Louis.

Here at Fluffernutter world headquarters, we’re mentioning the true legend Chuck Berry when we pull out our prayer mat and bow towards Mecca.

fluffincolorFluffernutter Review in Brief – The Kings Speech: g-g-g-g-g-Great mm-mm-mMoovie. LllllLook for an o-o-o-o-Oscar for c-c-c-c-c-Colin ffffFirth.

fluffincolorJan 1, 2011: 1 1 11: The day all the cuties got married.

Serial cutie #2, Valerie Bertinelli married her second husband, Tom Vitale in California on New Years day. Bertinelli’s first husband, oh lets call him “Mutt Lange II” since “Eddie Van Halen” is already taken, was on hand, as was his bassist, and son with Bertinelli, Wolfgang.

The happy couple have been dating since 2003.

fluffincolorFluffernutter Review in Brief – True Grit: Very true to the story, and very gritty.

fluffincolorDavid Arquette had, to borrow a phrase, one hell of a New Years hangover. How so? He spent New Years Eve partying very hard indeed, then checked himself into rehab the next day.

I’ve had some hangovers in my time, swore off booze, uttered the phrase, “wish I was dead.” But I have never wasted a good hangover checking myself into rehab. That’s a hangover.

fluffincolorSo you had the big New Years Party. You were da’ man! David Arquette left you a message: “I never seen anybody so wasted!” he says.

You groan, roll over, wipe the eyeball boogers from your face and notice for the first time, your not alone: Meg Ryan is in bed with you. Yea well, some guys have all the luck:

John Mellencamp and his wife announced last week they are splitting up. Done. No more. This week the word hit’s the interwebs – do you need more proof – that Cougar is dating the ultimate cougar, Meg Ryan.

Don’t know if he has all the luck, but John Cougar Mellencamp certainly has gotten more than his fair share of it.


fluffincolorGerry Rafferty (1947-2011).

Saddened to hear the news that Stuck in the Middle writer and Baker Street ingénue Gerry Rafferty has died, aged 63, after a long illness.

While Rafferty is best known for the sublime Baker Street, and never forget Right Down the Line, which most obits have done, the most interesting Trivia Pursuit question about Rafferty is that he played in a folk duo with fellow Scot Billy Connolly. The Humblebums recorded three albums, two of the them with Rafferty, before splitting in 1970.

Baker Street is one of the rock eras works of genius. Agorgeous, layered textured song about life on London’s famous Baker Street in the swinging 60’s (where Rafferty busked), it features possibly rocks most famous sax line and a great guitar solo.

Rafferty is survived by his daughter. May he Rest in Peace.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The American Idol Edition; Ritchie Hayward (1946 – 2010)

August 14th, 2010
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorSo you’re a dad. You’re daughter is mid-to-late 20’s. She is dating, and has become pregnant by a rich celebrity 26 years her senior, who has four kids by three other women, fluffernutterand recently left his wife and two of those young children due to irreconcilable differences (i.e. she aged). What are the chances your reaction is:

It’s great news and we’re very pleased for them both.

On the other hand, perhaps the next statement explains the previous words of Alan Walsh, father of Kelsey Grammer’s 29 year old squeeze Kayte Walsh:

I don’t know how long they have been together and I have not met him yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

fluffincolorAmerican Idol is looking for judges. First up is Jennifer Lopez. Lopez, who is talentless as a singer and actor, has been bumped from consideration because of her excessive demands.

How excessive can your demands have to be? I want a dressing room, nanny, masseuse, water, flowers &tc. All would be no sweat. What else could a person making millions a year ask from her employers?

Ohhh, perhaps she wanted to sing. Yea, good call American Idol.

fluffincolorReview in Brief: Eat, Pray, Love – I haven’t even seen it, but the preview made me nauseous on three separate occasions.

fluffincolorSince Jenifer Lopez is out of the running for American Idol judge, a plan B is needed. How about… Shania Twain.

Canadian born Twain has several advantages over the aforementioned Lopez: She can sing; she’s smoking’ hot; she lives in a castle in Switzerland, so her tastes and demands can’t be too over the top. I say, sign her up.

It’s not enough to make me watch, but it’s enough to make me put a picture of Twain up once a month or so during Idol season.shania-twain-pic

fluffincolorAmerican Idol singer Fantasia Barrino had a week to forget. First, she was named as the other woman in a divorce proceeding in North Carolina. The wife of Antwuan Cook alleges the singer had an affair with her husband, which is denied.

The next day, Barrino was hospitalized for a “medication overdose.” She was admitted to a North Carolina hospital and her condition is not considered life threatening.

Paula Cook, on the other hand, is said to be life threatening, if she dare goes near her man again.


fluffincolorRitchie Hayward (1946 – 2010):
Ritchie Hayward was the long time drummer for Little Feat, one of the most under-rated bands of the rock era. He was there in the beginning in 1969, and stayed with the band until founder Lowell George’s death in 1979.

In 1987, Little Feat reformed, and their 1988 album Let it Roll is probably the best album of the 1980’s (seriously, if you don’t know it but feel sure you’ve missed something: give Let it Roll a listen). Hayward continued with Little Feat until his cancer diagnosis last August.

Other than Little Feat, Hayward has played with Jimmy Buffet’s Corral Reefer Band, was the drummer of record on Robert Plant’s Shaken and Stirred album, had spots with Bob Seger, Eric Clapton, The Doobie Brothers, Peter Frampton, Arlo Guthrie, Robert Palmer, Tom Waitts, Warren Zevon and some guy named Dylan, just to name the people you’ve heard of.

To watch Hayward drum was to watch a man having a seizure in 4/4 time. His arms and legs splayed about in much the way you would imagine a monkey would look if he tried to drum, except with Hayward, it made sense. He was never repetitious, and in fact, a drummer friend once commented when listening to them, “there’s no pattern there to try and follow.”

In short, Ritchie Hayward was an exceptional drummer, and if the general population of music fans was unaware of the fact, music insiders knew it all too well.

Ritchie Hayward died this week from complications of liver cancer. If there’s a rock and roll heaven – I want Ritchie Hayward in my band.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Penis Edition: Big Ones, Loud Ones; Thumping Around Ones

April 10th, 2010

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorSinger Ricky Martin, long rumoured to be gay, last week announced he was… gay.brighams-fluffernutter-761079

In a statement on his website, Martin said week:

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

No real surprise, I can’t listen to Livin’ La Vida Loca without feeling gay, never mind singing it every night.

fluffincolorSixteen year old singing sensation/tweener heartthrob Justin Beiber commented to People magazine this week about President Barack Obama mis-pronouncing his name at Beiber’s first visit to the White House last year:

He messed up my name, but I give it to him. He’s not (the) age category I sing to. He’s not “one less lonely girl”.

I would have preferred if he had said, “Dude. You can pronounce Netanyahu, but you can’t get Bee-ber? Put it on the teleprompter and get it right next time.” However, the “it’s more than I expect from some old, square guy,” routine that he went with was good too.

fluffincolorLife and Style magazine has gone undercover to find out, which Hollywood big shots have big shooters. The big men about town, in no particular order, we hope, are: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette, David Spade, Jamie Kennedy, Brian Austen Green, Jaret Leto and Andy Dick.

Noticeably absent from the list is any of those Hollywood loudmouth types (DiCaprio excepted) like Sean Penn or Matt Damon, proving once again, guys with big dicks don’t have to go around acting like they have big dicks.

fluffincolorFrom the Department of Segues shania-twain-2-240I never thought I’d use: speaking of Penises (penisi?), Mutt Lange’s ex-wife (a very quiet guy if your ever looking for one) Shania Twain is back in the public eye, causing millions of penisi world-wide top thump around in excitement, “I was in a very deep, dark slump, and I needed to find a way to get myself out of it,” Twain told People, causing thousands of those penises to explode.

fluffincolorMalcolm McLaren (1946-2010) – In 1976 Malcolm McLaren took a band he was managing and replaced first the bass player, then added a singer. The singer, who would audition for McLaren miming to an Alice Cooper song wearing an I hate Pink Floyd short (the words written on after the fact), changed his name to Johnny Rotten, the band to the Sex Pistols. They would stay together two years, scandalising Britain with their celebration of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee with their version of God Save the Queen (She ain’t a human bein’).

The Sex Pistols broke up on their first American tour, and McLaren would go on to break up Adam and the Ants, and regroup them as Bow Wow Wow and Adam Ant. He also had a lengthy music career of his own, begining with 1983’s Duck Walk.

McLaren died this week, aged 64, after a battle with the rare form of cancer, malignant mesothelioma.


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