Out here in Hespeler, we’ve been stinging since Prince William and his then new bride, Kate, were made Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. You see, although we are a part of Cambridge, we really hate those guys. It’s all a very People’s Front of Judea v. Judean People’s Front kind of thing. But, Hespeler was forced into an amalgamation it never wanted in 1973 by Bill Davis and, of course, his Chief of Staff, Hugh Segal.
Now that Senator Segal has retired to take Robertson Davies old job at Massey College, what better way to make up for the slight by Buckingham Palace than appointing a Senator from Hespeler to his seat in the red chamber.
Back in 2008 I made a pitch for one of those Senate seats Stephen Harper was tossing around. Honest, show up everyday, never had an expense account in my life and would happily drive myself from Cambridge to Ottawa when necessary. I have a degree in economics that I earned while working 48-hour weeks on the midnight shift at an auto-plant and raising two toddlers. That’s the kind of guy a Prime Minister should want. Instead, he went with more traditional picks like Richard Neufield, Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallin and Patrick Brazeau and what did he get: a turncoat, two traditional media troughers who always wanted to get on the other side of the political money tree and a moron. In Wallin and Duffy, Harper discovered what we all knew: you can’t trust the media. Us bloggers, on the other hand…
So it’s time Prime Minister to correct an historic wrong, and send Hespeler to Hugh Segal’s seat in the Senate.
At Home in the senate
Brian Gardiner for Senate, Hug Segal, Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallin, Patrick Brazeau, Richard Neufeld, Senate
I voted At Home in Hespeler for Senator.
Dear Steve:
I know it sounded like a joke at the time. Some blogger from Hespeler – Cambridge for God’s sake – wants to be Senator. Some forklift driver thinks he’s qualified to sit in the Senate.
At the time I suggested with an auto industry in crisis, maybe you could bring in an auto worker. Would do you no harm, with the added bonus that it would drive Buzz Hargrove nuts that a unionized autoworker not named Buzz Hargrove was appointed.
Could play guitar in the Senate band I hinted, and I’m sure we could use a keyboard player. Good for everybody’s image that.
But no, you went with Dick Neufeld (as he is, I’m sure, now called in your circle of friends). And what did you get? A headache. An independent thinker. Hell, lets call a spade a spade: a crony-ist backstabber, entitled to his entitlements.
I’m sure you made Dick sign an undated resignation – all the better to guarantee he runs in an election if you ever get your elected Senate. So date it, accept it, and call someone who knows how to kiss a Prime-Ministerial ass.
Sincerely
At Home in Hespeler
At Home in the senate
Brian Gardiner for Senate, Richard Neufeld, Senate, Stephen Harper
Back in December, when people where throwing money around without thought and calling it stimulus, I made a simple recommendation. You want stimulus that positively affects the auto industry? Reform EI, said I. I even offered it as proof why Stephen Harper wants me in the Senate (Did Duffy warn you of this one Mr. PM?)
And now? Michael Ignatieff is all Chicken Little, running around yelling, “an election is coming, and 
election is coming,” unless of course you do what that Hespeler guy wrote. As well, possible-regular reader Christine Elliot is threatening that if a) she wins the PC leadership, b) she wins the general election, c) the feds don’t reform EI to her liking, she will, presuming she remembers making this threat and is the type of politician who keeps such promises, pull Ontario out of the federal EI system.
Prime Minister Harper, such problems, such headaches for yourself and your government. And they could have been avoided if only you had asked yourself, what would Hespeler write?
What Would Hespeler Write
Brian Gardiner for Senate, Chicken Little, Christine Elliot, EI Reform, election, June Election, Michael Ignatieff, Mike Duffy, Senate, Stephen Harper
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