At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“Do you know who I am?”

It is the second worse line a celebrity can use in public. (the worst being, “if Anne Frank was alive today, she would be a nobody who comes to honour me.”)

Last weekend, Legally Blonde, and technically very cute, Reese Witherspoon got into some trouble with police in Georgia after asking the officer involved, “Do you know my name?” After advising Witherspoon that he’s sure it will be on the arrest sheet (it was), she said “You are about to find out who I am. You’re going to be on the national news.”

Witherspoon wound up with a disorderly conduct while her husband, Jim Toth, got a much more serious driving while intoxicated charge.

To her credit,Witherspoon the next day admitted she may have drank more than was strictly neccesary: “I clearly had one drink too many and i am deeply embarrassed about the things I said… I was disrespectful to the officer, who was just doing his job…”

Say what you want about Reese Witherspoon’s actions above, at least when she says “do you know who I am?” there’s a reasonable chance the answer is yes. Se is, after all, an A-list movie star.

Not so much Tara Reid, who pulled the “do you know who I am?” card in an LA clothing store this week (actually no, who are you? – ed). Reid, who apparently was in some movie ten years ago, was shopping at All Saints when she reportedly freaked out because, get this, she was asked to pay full price.

“Tara gets a huge discount with All Saints in the UK and Paris because she’s a walking billboard (oh, is that what they’re calling it these days – ed),” her people said. While her reps dispute that Reid was drunk and/or obnoxious while in the store, there seems to be no dispute she’s an egomaniacal cheapskate.

Then there’s Sandra Bullock. Bullock’s new movie, The Heat, is a cop movie based in Boston. Bullock plays an FBI agent sent to work on a case alongside a Local Boston cop, played by Melissa McCarthy.

Producers of The Heat have decided to host a special screening in Boston for emergency workers affected by the Boston Marathon bombing.

“I don’t think a screening would ever be enough (or) feel like it’s enough to do for them,”  the classy Bullock said.

See ladies, that’s how it’s done.

Here’s a shock headline:

Drugs, stun gun found on empty Justin Bieber tour bus by Swedish police.

Am I the only one whose first reaction was, the Swedish care if you have drugs on your bus?

Swedish police raided the bus during the Beib’s concert Wednesday, after smelling marijuana outside the bus during the day. No charges have been laid, and the drug found has not been reported, but as they smelled marijuana, and it’s Beiber’s bus, certain assumptions can be made.

This from the stories with a faint stench about them file: Country singer Billy Currington was indicted in Georgia on Wednesday for “threatening bodily harm to a man older than 65,” and making terroristic threats.

This seems to stem from a dispute with a charter boat operator who runs out of a pier near Currington’s lakeside home. The boat operator, Charles Harvey Ferrelle, says Currington jumped in his own boat and chased Ferrelle around, yelling and taking pictures.

Currington is, for his part, saying not much, but implied on twitter that Ferrelle was taking customers by his house intentionally, so that they could take pictures.

Ritchie Havens (1941-2013)

At 5:00 on Friday August 15th, 1969, Ritchie Havens stepped on the stage in Bethel NY to perform 4 songs to open Woodstock. Anywhere between 45-minutes and 2-and-a-half hours later, Havens left the stage having, according Havens, played every song he knows, including Happy Birthday and some Christmas carols. According to legend, Havens was an unexpected hit with the audience, and all of the other bands where stuck in traffic trying to get to the show, so organizers asked him to keep playing.

Havens was a working musician all his life, announcing his retirement from touring after 45-years in March, 2012. This week, Ritchie Havens died suddenly of a heart attack, age 72. May he Rest in Peace

Fluffernutter, Saturday Morning Coffee Billy Currington, Justin Beiber, Reese Witherspoon, Ritchie Havens, Sandra Bullock, Tara Reid

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

A large part of the tragedy of the Amy Winehouse story comes via her father, Mitch Winehouse. When Rehab, Winehouse’s ode to denial was a hit he begged fans not to buy the song and album. Your just encouraging her, he said at the time, and it’s going to kill her.

At a private funeral this week, he offered a 40 minute eulogy, telling hundreds of her friends and family while she may have been a troubled star, or a talented singer to millions, to them she was their “angel.”

The poor man humanizes this sad story and makes you wish for a different outcome.

Meanwhile, Amy’s ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil did not attend the funeral. Fielder, who divorced Winehouse in 2009 after a 2-year marriage, is serving a 32-month sentence for burglary and possession of a firearm. While he is reported in “inconsolable,” over the news of her death, he did not ask for compassionate leave to attend the funeral. He apparently didn’t want to attend in handcuffs out of respect for Winehouse and her family. If true, it may be the first decent thing he’s done since he and Winehouse came to public notice.

Ashton Kutcher is a moron. I know, I know, “news flash.” But seriously, here’s what he tweeted after Amy Winehouse died:

I nevr know wht 2 post after paying respect 2 sum1 who died. Just seems lk anything funny is inappropriate. mayB I’ll just go C HarryPotter

Besides making my spell check cry, there is so much wrong with this. Yes, anything funny is inappropriate, but so is dismissively adding you’ll go “C HarryPotter.” Of course perhaps that was a little joke- the very sentence after saying jokes are inappropriate. Sigh.

Here’s the thing, you stupid, stupid man. If you can’t even take the time to spell correctly for a small tribute to someone who has just died, then don’t bother! Better nothing be said than an illiterate rambling that comes across as disrespectful for the deceased, and makes you look dumb as a bag of hammers – very dumb hammers.

Meanwhile U2 does it right, dedicating Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of, to Winehouse.

“We wrote this next song for Michael Hutchence,” Bono told the audience, “but you will understand if tonight we play it for Amy Winehouse.”

Hutchence was the former singer for the band INXS, who committed suicide in 1997.

See Ashton Kutcher, that’s how it’s done, a nice sentiment simply stated. It doesn’t have to be about you.

Sandra Bullok’s ex- moron husband Jesse James has split from the woman he left Bullock for. Tattoo model Kat Von D and James announced this week they have broken up.

Lets see, can’t stick with the wholesome, pretty all American girl, can’t stick with the filthy tattooed skank. Maybe James just doesn’t do this whole relating with other humans very well.

Will they, or won’t they?

Gene Simmons got down on bended knee this week on his reality show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels. Simmons proposed to his long time lover and mother of his 2 adult children, during the finale of the reality show.

After a spat on the Joy Behar show a few weeks ago, it looked like splitsville for the pair. Wether the proposal was filmed before or since the Behar show, I can’t seem to find out.I Guess we have to tune in next season to see what she says.

It’s all so romantic.

Not everybody split up this week, some people were reconciling. Case in point: Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

The two had fallen out previously, but this week Lohan turned up at a Hilton party. While the two did not hug, kiss and/or announce an upcoming night on the town sans underwear, the appearance marks the first time the two have been seen in the same space in some time.

You know what Paris and Lindsay together means, don’t you. Means we here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters are going to have a banner season.

Fluffernutter Amy Wi, Ashton Kutcher, Blake Fielder-Civil, Bono, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Jesse James, Kat Von D, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Hutchence, Mitch Winehouse, Paris Hilton, Sandra Bullock, Shannon Tweed, U2

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

The Kings Speech was the big Oscar winner with Best Movie, Best Actor (Colin Firth), Best Director and Best Original Screenplay.

Highlights of the telecast include the lovely Melissa Leo, who won best supporting actress for The Fighter, saying on national, prime time television:

When I watched Kate two years ago it looked so fuckin’ easy.

The other highlight was jerk off Christian Bale seeming to forget his wife’s name during the thank you’s.

Lowlight was Gweneth Paltrow singing.

The anti-Oscar’s, also known as The Razzies, went off as usual Saturday night in Los Angeles. The Razzies “celebrate” all that is bad in movies, giving awards to the worst movies and performances of the year.

Worst movie of the year went to The Last Airbender, a movie I hadn’t even heard of, but got a $320million box office received a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Worst Actor was Ashton Kutcher for his role in Killers, and worst actress went to the girls in Sex in the City 2.

Unlike last year when Sandra Bullock attended the Razzies and showed real grace and class by accepting her worst actress award, none of the winners appeared this year.

The week that was: Chuck Sheen

Monday: Sheen fired his long-time publicist, Stan Rosenfeld hours after Rosenfeld quit. Sheen has been going off the publicity reservation a fair bit the past few weeks, and his publicist Rosenfeld seems to have had enough. In an interview, Sheen said Rosenfeld had erred in October when defending Sheen’s action:

I respect Stan, he was doing the best he could at the moment. Had I conformed with him, I probably would have come up with something better

Because his improvisations the last week have turned out so well, presumably.

Sheen later said of Rosenfeld: “He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired.”

Tuesday: After a series of bizarre interviews, Sheen joins Twitter, listing as his occupation, unemployed winner. By nights end he had over 400,000 followers, and I‘d make a joke about them being all twits, if only I wasn‘t one of them.

His interviews, meanwhile, continue to be some of the most colourful ever:

It (the AA principles) was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA…
I’m tired of pretending like I’m not a bitching, a total freaking rock star from Mars… You can’t process me with a normal brain…
They picked a fight with a warlock.

He also demanded a raise to return to his hit – ahem – “sitcom“ Two and a Half Men: “I’ll even do season 10, but… it’s 3 mil an episode (he was making $2 million an episode).

The day goes so bad for Sheen, that one media outlet dubbed it, “Charlie Sheen’s Scorched Earth Tour,” and former Two and a Half Men producer Chuck Lorre called it a “…Sprint from from Grace.”

Wednesday: Late Tuesday night a judge removed custody of his kids from Sheen. His ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, complained Sheen threatened her. Not, however, an I’ll kill you, you f%$#in’ bi%$&, kind of threat, but the kind of threat a guy with “fire breathing fists” would level:

I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.

He later tweeted: @Charlie sheen “My sons are fine… My path is clear… Defeat is not an option!”

Is it just me, or should the briefcase full of blow, the bevy of hookers, the outrageous statements in the media and the absolute appearance that Sheen may be having a very public breakdown of some kind not seem reason enough to remove the kids from the home. It takes a direct threat of the jihaddi kind to make a judge step up and protect those kids?

Friday: Sheen set a record with 1M twitter followers in 24 hours. It is now expected Sheen can make $1M on a yearly basis selling ads on his twitter feed. Because what Charlie Sheen needs is greater access to easy money.

Wonder how many twitter followers stop following Sheen once he’s running twitterads? One, I know of for sure.

Christina Aquilera was passenger in a car Tuesday when it got pulled over. She was, according to police, “not capable of taking care of herself. She was incapacitated… She was just intoxicated.”

A few hours in the holding cell to sleep it off, and Christina was on her way without charge.

Not so lucky was her boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, who was driving the car. He was arrested for suspicion of drunken driving.

After a big day being feted by Prince Charles, Catherine Zeta-Jones CBE was punched by a photographer in London. Returning from Buckingham Palace last week, Jones and husband, Michael Douglas, exited their car and entered their hotel in a flurry of photographers.

“How dare you punch me,” Jones suddenly yelled. “I want a police officer right now. He punched me. The guy coming in here, he punched me.”

Douglas, who is recovering from throat cancer treatments, turned to accost the photog.

Good on Douglas, who looks weakened but well these days, for standing up for his wife.

Last week I reported a story in which some in the music industry were criticizing artists who played well paying, private parties for the Gaddafi’s in Libya.

This week, Nelly Furtatdo has announced she will repay what she was given to perform for the murderous dictator. Problem is, Ms. Furtado, payment is only part of the problem. Mu’amar Gaddafi was a murderous thug long before anyone thought of tweeting about it. You had to know, and that says far more about you than paying back the money after the fact does.

Fluffernutter Ashton Kutcher, Brooke Mueller, Catherine Zeta Jones, Charlie Sheen, Christian Bale, Christina Aquilera, Chuck Lorre, Colin Firth, Gweneth Paltrow, Kaddafi Duck, Matthew Rutler, Melissa Leo, Michael Douglas, Mu'amar Gaddafi, Nelly Furtado, Prince Charles, razzies, Sandra Bullock, Sex in the City 2, Stan Rosenfeld, The Kings Speech, The Last Airbender, Two and a Half Men

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Joni Mitchell gave a rare interview last week with the LA Times:

We (Bob Dylan) and I are like night and day, he and I. Bob is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is deception.

Oh, my! Tell us what you really think Joni.

She had more to say regarding Grace Slick and Janis Joplin being drunken tramps – they were “sleeping with their whole bands and falling down drunk” – and Madonna:

Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.

Madonna as anti-Christ. There’s an argument I can get behind.

Other revelations in the Joni Mitchell interview:

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are neither red, hot nor chilli peppers.

Jakob Dylan plagiarized his fathers last name.

The Led Zeppelin song Going to California, heretofore thought to be written about Joni Mitchel, was really written about That Girl Marlo Thomas.

The reason the Toronto Maple Leafs have not won a Stanley Cup in 40 years is that Joni Mitchell cursed them by writing about them in her song Raised on Robbery.

Jose Feliciano is the judge for the People Magazine’s most beautiful people.

Bob Dylan mumbles

Sandra Bullock has filed for divorce from her wayward husband, Jesse James. While Bullock was apparently devastated by revelations of James multiple affairs, she was equally appalled by a picture showing him in Nazi dress, using his finger to mock-up a Hitler moustache and giving a Nazi salute:

The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married… anything Nazi…have no place in my life. And the man I married felt the same.

Am I the only person in this world who sees the iron cross that James uses as his business logo and thinks of the Nazi’s?

People Magazine came out with their 2010 Most Beautiful Woman issue for 2010, and the winner is… Julia Roberts?

Even in her prime 20 years ago I wouldn’t put Julia Roberts on my top 50 beautiful women list, a list that includes my wife, my neighbour and my singer. But in an edition of People Magazine that will heavily feature Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts will be on the cover as most beautiful? Absurd!

Fluffernutter Bob Dylan, Going to California, Grace Slick, Jakob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Jesse James, Joni Mitchell, Jose Feliciano, Julia Roberts, Led Zeppelin, Madonna, Marlo Thomas, People Magazine, Raised on Robbery, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Sandra Bullock, Stanley Cup, Toronto Maple Leafs

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

The latest entry into the Bond fare, Cry Like a Baby starring Daniel Craig has been put on hold due to financial disaster at parent company MGM.

MGM studios is for sale, and with a $3.7B debt, unable to continue as is. This has caused EON Productions, which make the Bond movies, to halt “indefinitely” the making of the next Bond film, tentatively called Bond 23. The movie was scheduled for a 2011 or 2012 release.

Headline in a newspaper this week:

European Airlines hoping for ash hole to fly through.

I can’t be the only person who thought, “finally, a natural disaster in which Sean Penn will be useful.”

Newsflash: Sandra Bullock this week was spotted shopping, without her wedding ring

Her husband has been caught fooling around with what might be the skankiest skank in all of skank-ville, and it’s news she isn’t wearing her wedding ring? Not in prison for killing the stupid bastard, that’s news. The wedding thing ring is up there with McDonalds makes a hamburger.

While on the subject of Sandra Bullock, she has been asked to return her Razzy for worst actress, which she good naturedly accepted the Saturday before the Oscars. The Razzy she took home was a one-off highly valuable trophy. The winners get a replica to take home, instead of the original. Bullock accidentally left with the good one, and her people offered to return it immediately upon hearing the story that she had the wrong one.

Want to know why America loves Sandra Bullock, look at how she has handled the entire Razzy award episode.

Former Poison singer and current reality TV guy Brett Michaels was rushed to hospital Friday with a brain hemorrhage. Michaels is in critical condition after being rushed to the hospital with a headache. The doctors discovered bleeding at the base of the brain stem.

Michaels had an emergency appendectomy last week after complaining of stomach pains. Next week he is anticipated to have leg pains, resulting in hip replacement surgery.

Michaels is expected to make a full recovery.

Bond James Bond, Fluffernutter Ash Hole, Bond 23, Brett Michaels, Daniel Craig, EON Productions, James Bond, Jesse James, MGM, Oscar, Razzy, Sandra Bullock, Sean Penn

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Hollywood glittered Sunday night as the movie industry celebrated itself in it’s annual Oscar night. The show, co-hosted by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, is being widely panned as boring and predictable. The show was boring, the winners predictable. The top winners were:

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
Best Supporting Actress: Mo’nique (Precious)
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)

If there was any surprises, it was that one movie didn’t dominate as is often the case. Favourite, and most nominated movie Avatar, won three Oscar’s: Visual Effects; Cinematography and Art Direction.

Review in Brief: Alice in Wonderland: “It was,” the twelve year old boy shrugged, “OK.”

Higher praise you will not find.

Counterpoint to Oscar night is the Golden Raspberries. The Razzies, which get handed out the night before the Oscars, celebrate the worst performances in movie-dom.

For the first time someone has won both the Oscar and Razzie for acting, as Oscar nights Best Actress Sandra Bullock received the Worst Actress honours for All About Steve. To her eternal credit, Bullock showed up at the 30th annual Razzie awards to receive her award.

Other Razzie winners were:

Worst Picture: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Worst Actors: The Jonas Brothers (Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience.
Worst Supporting Actor: Billy Ray Cirus: Hannah Montana: The Movie
Worst Supporting Actress: Sienna Miller: G.I Joe: The Rise of the Cobra

Miley Cyrus this week had this to say about her relationship with her new boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth:

I think we’re both deeper than normal people…

Which makes them… deeply abnormal?

Pink Floyd won a major court victory this week that prevents EMI from releasing any Pink Floyd recordings in any form except the complete albums.  Floyd originally negotiated a contract that allowed Floyd to block releasing any song individually. In the era of MP3s and iTunes, Floyd decided they are still an album band. A stand that is to be respected, but you have to wonder what it does to Pink Floyd’s long term fan base.

Corey Haim (1971-2010) – Corey Haim was a star for approximately five years during the 1980’s. He seems to have spent the rest of his life paying for his teenage celebrity.

One of the two Coreys, Haim died this week of a suspected accidental overdose – probably prescription drugs – after years of drug abuse.

Originally from Toronto, Haim will be buried in Toronto.

Fluffernutter alec baldwin, Alice in Wonderland, Avatar, Billy Ray Cirus, Christoph Waltz, Corey Haim, Crazy Heart, EMI, Hannah Montana, Inglorious Basterds, Jeff Bridges, Miley Cyrus, mo'nique, oscars, Pink Floyd, Precious, razzies, Sandra Bullock, Sienna Miller, steve martin, The Blind Side, The Hurt Locker, The Jonas Brothers