At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“Man it’s cold down here,” Satan said to his minion in charge of the furnaces. “What’s going on?”

“That Fluffernutter guy agrees with something David Crosby said,” said the minion. “We’re beginning to freeze over.”

“Noooo! More Brimstone!! More Brimstone!!!”

And what did David Crosby say

Kanye West can’t write, sing or play. So I have trouble with him as anything but a poser. Produce? That means he sits in a chair while the engineer does the work. He’s a poser!

Kanye meanwhile, headlined Glastonbury where he butchered – as in hog tied, slit the throat of and left to drain blood on the floor in agony – Queens Bohemian Rhapsody.

Earlier, modesty getting the better of him, Kanye declared himself the “greatest living rock star on the planet,” proving quite conclusively he doesn’t have a better side.

Later, Pete Townsend of The Who, closing out Glastonbury, told the audience, “we’re going to send you home now with a rebellious “Oh yea? Who’s the biggest fucking rock star in the world?”

As for The Who, Townsend told the crowd from the stage:

I think I will stop after this year. We’re lucky we’re not in some old people’s home… even this particular gang can grow old, not necessarily gracefully but can grow old ungracefully — or whatever it is we’re doing.

Last month Daltrey scolded a fan at a concert for smoking a joint, so “we’re too old for this,” is hardly surprising. And by “this,” I mean anything whatsoever.

I’ve said before that entertainment reporters are the laziest people on earth. “Oh my, typing out Brad and Angelina is too much effort, lets make it Brangelina,” they will bore entire dinner parties saying. “Why type 15 letters when 10 will do?” Talk about a group that needs to get on a by-the-word pay scale.

The most annoying of these shortcuts, by far, is Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner being called Bennifer. It’s not just lazy, but it’s also not original, being the lame nickname given to Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Seriously, you can’t even come up with something new and original to save yourself keying in those five whole letters?

So you can imagine how exciting I found the headline this week, “Bennifer no more!” Unfortunately, this wasn’t a directive from entertainment editors, or a promise from the reporters to get on their lazy ass and type out whole names. Rather, it was the unfortunate news that after ten-years of marriage and three children, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have split up. In a released statement, the couple said they were divorcing, but will “go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children…”

Hollywood divorces are rarely surprising, in that it’s the almost default expectation in Hollywood. But Affleck and Garner are two very public figures who have managed to maintain a relationship and marriage largely outside of the public eye. So while the divorce announcement is not surprising, it is sad and a bit disappointing.

Chris Squire (1948-2015)

After a period of unwellness – stomach ailments, weight loss, extreme fatigue – Yes bassist Chris Squire was diagnosed with acute erythroid leukemia in March. Last Saturday, Just a few months later, Squire passed away at 67.

Squire was the only member of Yes to perform on every tour and every album, from it’s founding in 1968 until this year. His bass playing was distinctive and often brilliant. Rather than play the bottom end of chords, giving tone to the bass drum, as so many other bass players do, Squire played counter-melodic lines, more in a baroque style than standard rock. His Rickenbacker basses had a big sound which was a significant contributor to Yes’s signature sound. He will go down as one of the very best bassist in history, and by one of the best, I do mean top three.

He performed on 21 Yes albums, plus two solo works. In August, Yes will perform for the first time ever without Chris Squire at bass. Personally, I loved Yes and Squire was a big reason why. Whenever you listened to Yes, you often came away with the bass line running through your head, something you can’t say about many other bands.

Rest in Peace Chris Squire, a brilliant bassist and by all accounts, a very decent man.

for certified professional guitar repair in Cambridge Ontario: Brian Gardiner Guitar Repair

Fluffernutter Ben Affleck, Chris Squire, David Crosby, Jennifer Garner, Kanye West, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltry

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.

Rush – Spirit of Radio.

What’s going to save the music industry from itself? You know what I mean, that whole CDs, golden goose, dead thing. To hear the rockstars and industry execs tell it, sharing files – they call it pirating for Gods sake – will ruin the industry. Who’s going to make music if you can’t make obscene amounts of money doing so?

“Make a few bob and then open a hairdressing salon,” Ringo Starr answered when asked what he hoped to get out of The Beatles. It was The Beatles first trip to the United States, and the press was already asking “what next?” I’ll make enough money to start a little shop, thought Ringo. By the time I get around to writing Octopuses Garden, I’ll have no one to sing it to except my customers. They probably all thought that: A bookstore for John; a music store for George; a hat store for Nigel (Tufnel, the oft forgotten sixth Beatle).

Who indeed?

During a television interview aired worldwide before The Who’s live simulcast farewell concert from Toronto in 1982, Roger Daltry talked about the band’s habit of breaking their equipment at the end of their shows: ‘we would run into a store, grab a guitar off the wall and run out again saying over our shoulder, I’ll pay you later,’ he said. ‘We didn’t make any money until the mid-70’s.’ Yet they managed to come out with Tommy and Who’s Next, alternatively known as the greatest rock opera and the CSI soundtrack album.

Kiss would work their way to the west coast, and have to book gigs, any gig, to eat and travel their way back to New York. Ever seen those early Kiss shows? Phenomenal. They were hungry, they had attitude and they were good. They started making money around the time of the Destroyer album. They stopped making listenable music exactly around the Destroyer album. “They prostituted themselves,” a high school buddy said one day about Beth. I rather think not, think Beth was in retrospect, a reasonably heartfelt song. It was immediately after Beth that the Kiss act became red-light. “This is a great Rod Stewart song,” Paul Stanley told the band about Hard Luck Woman, hoping to sell the song to Stewart. That, my friend, is prostituting yourself.

Nobody got into the music business for the business potential until sometime in the late 70’s or early 80‘s. Before that, even the big stars figured by the time they were 30, then 40, they wouldn’t be acting like rock stars. Mick Jagger said once that he couldn’t imagine running around a stage when he’s 60. He knew then what he refuses to acknowledge now: that he’s become somewhat absurd. But somewhere late in the 70’s, early in the 80’s guys started choosing rock star as a career option. It is considered a remarkable coincidence that people stopped making rock music that was transcendental at the same time.

Who am I kidding? The moment musicians stopped thinking I’ll give it all I got until I’m 28 or so, then get a real job is the moment music changed. If you imagine music as a career, what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, then you’re not about to go out on a limb because you believe from the depths of your soul that the 3rd bar in the 2nd verse should be a C#m instead of an E. If the record company guy, the one in the charcoal suit, says it should be an E, then who are you to withhold the master tapes and risk your future until he concedes your point? And while one C#m may not matter in the grand scheme, once you concede the 3rd bar in the 2nd verse, then why not cut the solo because nobody does solos anymore? And why not rewrite the last verse to make it more radio friendly? Never mind that you talked to God on that solo, or the third verse was absolute poetry, this is about selling records. So why not let the art director from the design department design your album covers, why worry your pretty little head over artistic direction? After all, it’s not art, it’s business.

While the artists were busy working for the man, the people who buy the product, the important line in the supply and demand curve, stopped buying. Instead they, ahem, stole it. Not stole as in left the store with a product, stole as in they took a bunch of 0’s and 1’s that one person voluntarily put on their computer, and moved them to your computer without removing or in any way changing them. Want to talk about the law? Here’s a basic law of economics: price = scarcity. Without scarcity, there’s no need for price. Computer files are technically an unlimited resource. They can be duplicated an infinite number of times without experiencing any degradation of the original file. And if you can duplicate something ad-infinitum, you can’t impose a price on it in the long run. Notice I said can’t, not won’t or shouldn’t, but can’t. You cannot impose a price on something that has no scarcity. And if you can’t impose a price on a music file, the business model of the career recording artist falls apart.

My favourite theory is that recording will become the incidental effort, to promote the live experience that the musician offers. Sooner or later musicians will give away files, sell records and CDs to those (say, me) who must have them, but will make their money for what they do today, or rather tonight, not what they did back in 1982. For this to happen, some things within the industry will have to change, not the least of which is the expectation that musicians should be paid in perpetuity: musicians will have to be first, and always, musicians. Brittany Spears need not apply, we need people who can step on a stage, and sing, or play their instrument; the idea that a concert should be a spectacle will have to end. If you need a ten piece band and dancers – especially if you need dancers – then you can’t be expected to turn a profit on tour. No profit, no performance, it needs to be that simple. A five man band giving it their all, ala the Stones 1972 can be profitable work. An eleven man band playing Jumping Jack Flash while Mick, Keith and Ronny prance and preen ala the Stones now, no Dice, Tumblin’ or otherwise; prices need to come down. Sure Roger Waters or Madonna can carry a circus act, tractor trailer loads full of bricks and flying pigs, then charge $150, but nobody else can. Fourty dollars to hear some band on the margins is too much, they need to be able to play, profitably, for less, maybe a lot less. The trick is get enough people in the seats for $20, and sell them shirts, ring-tones, iPhone cases and downloads of the show.

I mention this because it is, I think, the future, and it is coming sooner than most believe. Here’s an item from this weeks paper:

Christina Aquilera has announced a 20-date North American tour… in support of her upcoming album Bionic. Fans will receive a digital copy of the album with every ticket purchased before June 4.

Give away the music, sell the concert. It’s a new idea, and will take some working out, but it’s economically viable. To put it simply, performance is a scarce commodity, one that can be charged for. As it gets harder and harder to collect on the bits and bites sitting on your hard drive, it will become more viable to look to the performance of music to make a living.

What’s going to save the music industry from itself? That’s easy: musicians. And when they do, music consumers will be better off for it.

The Freedom of Music, This Week on my I-Pod Beatles, Beth, Bionic, Brittany Spears, Christina Aquilera, CSI, Destroyer, George HArrison, Hard Luck Woman, John Lennon, Jumping Jack Flash, Keith Richards, Kiss, Madonna, Mick Jagger, Nigel Tufnel, Octopuses Garden, paul stanley, Ringo Starr, Roger Daltry, Roger Waters, Rolling Stones, Ron Wood, The Who, Tommy, Toronto, Who’s Next

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Twilight: New Moon, the movie that was given numerous zero and one star reviews, topped last weekends box office with a $258.8M worldwide weekend. It also set a new opening day high when it took $72.2M. This isn’t shocking, when movie prices increase the same number of people bring in more money. However, it can’t be comfortable being a critic in an industry that’s in deep decline, knowing the value a large swath of the population puts on your opinion is zero, or even negative.

Taylor Swift won four awards at last weekends American Music Awards, including Artist of the Year. Swift thanked God, her mother and Kanye West when receiving the award.

West, who’s career has taken a bit of a hit after interrupting Swift’s acceptance speech for femal video of the year at the MTV video awards, again interrupted her speech, asking three giggling girls coming home from Twilight: New Moon if they would like fries with that.

The other big winner at the |AMAs was Michael Jackson, who released no new music but did release his mortal coil to great success.

The controversy of the show was Adam Lambert’s homo-erotic dance routine. Many fans complained about the routine, others complained that the complainers are really homo-phobic. Lambert’s problem is, however, that he’s not Madonna – he came to success on family friendly American Idol, not as a skanky-ho who fished the bottom of the moral barrel. In short, the homo-phobes he offended are his fans.

Review in Brief – Twilight: New Moon: It was better than the first Twilight movie, dad.

The NFL announced this week that his years Superbowl half time show will be headlined by the Who, with Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey and a bunch of guys not named Keith Moon and John Entwistle (or even Kenny Jones)

Canada lost one of it’s treasures this past week when singer/songwriter Haydain Neale passed away, age 39. Neale, who is, is variously reported to be from Hamilton and Guelph, died of lung cancer last Sunday.

Here is Haidain Neale, and his band Jacksoul, with Sleepless.

Fluffernutter Adam Lambert, AMAs. American Music Awards, Haydain Neale, Jacksoul, John Entwistle, Kanye West, Kenny Jones, Kieth Moon, Michael Jackson, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltry, Sleepless, Superbowl, Taylor Swift, The Who, Twilight: NEw Moon