At Home in Hespeler

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.

Rush – Spirit of Radio.

A couple of weeks ago I went digging through some old boxes and emerged with my 1976 Kiss Army package: five 8×10 colour glossy pictures; Kiss Army sticker; Kiss Army iron on t-shirt transfer; Kiss tattoos; Kiss Bicentennial drum and fife poster. A years worth of quarterly newsletters, invariably designed to sell you product, were also in the envelope. This is to say, when Kiss first created a fan club called the Kiss Army, and I was in. When Kiss re-released their first three albums as The Originals, I bought my first box set. When Destroyer and Rock and Roll Over came out, I was a release day buyer and I saw them on the Destroyer tour. I was, in short, a big Kiss fan.

I still listen to them once in a while, Alive, mostly, simply because it’s heads and shoulders above everything else they’ve done. They’re live DVD set, Kissology Volume 1 (1974-1977) sits in my home gym, getting the occasional play while I’m working out. Of the time, Kiss is a hungry, hard working band with some decent, pop oriented rock songs, performed by a group of serviceable musicians. they were, in short, a decent band. But a Hall of Fame band?

The Rock and Roll Hall of fame rules allow a group or artist to be inducted 25-years after the release of their first record. Kiss was then eligible in 1999. Fans of the band spent the next 15-years complaining that if anybody belonged in, Kiss did. Based on some of the selections that were made, they had a point. But the nominating committee was unmoved. “Kiss is a circus, not a top tier rock and roll act,” was the attitude. “Call us when your the latter.” This year, fans became eligible to vote and the Kiss Army got out the vote. Kiss then spent the time leading up to the induction proving the Rock-Hall right: they were a circus.

The vote for Kiss was so much higher than the next artist, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame had no choice but to induct them. However, they caveated, original members only. “If that blogger from Hespeler doesn’t have an album with you on it in his basement,” Hall President Terry Stewart might have told Kiss’ publicity department, “you’re not in.” A quick check of my records and congratulation Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. The rest of you? Vinnie Vincent, Mark St. John and Bruce Kulick? so sorry; Eric Carr? A tragedy, but no. Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer? The band won’t let you go onstage as yourselves, so why should we? No, said the Hall, new rule: original members only.

Paul Stanley then spent the next month putting to rest any reputation he might have had as a nice guy. He would, to paraphrase an old George Carlin joke, play with guys who look like Peter Criss and Ace Frehley, but he would not be seen on stage with them. He detonated a devastating blow to irony meters around the world, complaining the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is some private, capitalist organization run by private individuals. (Kiss, on the other hand, apparently is all about their altruism and artistic integrity.)

And so, two weeks ago, The Originals stood on stage, thanked Bill Acoin, the other members, Neil Bogart and various others who helped Kiss through the years. Then they walked off stage, not a note of music to be played by any member of a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band. By the time the E-Street Band had finished thanking half the population of the continental United States, and went onstage to play, the circus had left town.

The Freedom of Music, This Week on my I-Pod Kiss, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

It was Led Zeppelin weekend in Washington as the band, along with David Letterman and Buddy Guy among others, were honoured at the Kennedy Center for the Arts Honors Gala.

In his speech at the White House gala, President Obama cited their wild lifestyle, noting there where 3 inch windows and secret service around the room. “The artwork is expensive guys,” he noted with a laugh.

The next night, the surviving members of what Jack Black called “the best rock band ever,” did something they have never done, gone on an American television show. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones paid a visit to fellow Kennedy Center honoree David Letterman’s late night talk show. While they didn’t play on the show, they did chat with Dave for almost 12 minutes.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame finally gets one right. After inducting The Beasty Boys, Blondie and Run-D.M.C., the hall has inducted Canadian rock legends Rush.

The members of Rush are said to be very pleased, with singer/bassist/keyboardist/chicken roaster Geddy Lee telling Rolling Stone, “it made my mom happy, so that’s worth it.” Woah with the big head there Geddy.

I’d say the Rock and Roll Hall finally had it’s act together if they wen’t also inducting Donna Summer and Public Enemy while the guys in Kiss and Deep Purple have to pay $22 to get in just like the rest of us.

And while we’re at it, any self respecting Rock Hall would lose the ‘and’ and go with Rock’N’Roll Hall of Fame.

Also inducted in the class of 2013 are Heart, Randy Newman, Albert King, Lou Adler and Quincy Jones.

It’s been a tough week for that Korean guy you had never heard of his time last month, Psy. Not expecting U.S. fame to come upon him in this lifetime, the rapping, dancing phenom was caught out when a ten-year old video of him bashing the U.S. surfaced. Since, other video’s of the rapper at anti-U.S. events have also come to light.

He has apologized and made his excuses and, lets face it calling for the death of American citizens isn’t exactly supporting traditional marriage, so all is forgiven and he met with President Obama this week.

Meanwhile in Ireland, a 46-year old father of 3, Eamonn Kilbride, suffered a heart attack while doing the singers “Gangnam Style” dance moves at his wife’s birthday party.

Speaking as an Irishman in his late-40’s, we shouldn’t be doing any style dance moves, let along aerobic Gangnam Style ones. I suppose, however, the Guinness and whiskey wants what the Guinness and whiskey wants…

Miley Cyrus seems to have left childhood in her rear view mirror. Last Saturday she appeared as a special guest at dubstep DJ Borgore’s Christmas Creampies show in Los Angeles.

Cyrus had a marine haircut (after cutting off her hair a few months ago), wore a somewhat revealing crop top, skin tight pants and thigh high leopard print boots. While Cyrus performed her new song Decisions, a stripper in thong and nipple covers was dancing on a pole beside her.

No word on which hospital daddy Billy Ray was taken too after having a coronary, but we’re reasonably sure he was.

Eh Tu Anne?

Anne Hathaway’s new movie, Les Miserables, was premiered at Manhattan’s Ziegfeld Theatre in New York last weekend. Arriving via limo, Hathaway, dressed in a side slit gothic dress, accidentally revealed her underwear choice for the evening.

Unfortunately for Anne, like Britney, Lindsay and Paris before her, her underwear choice was not to wear any

Actor Frankie Muniz, Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle amongst other teen roles in the early oh-ohs, suffered a mini-stroke while riding his motorbike last week. He was riding in Phoenix when he went numb, blind and lost his ability to speak (no word on whether he could suddenly play a mean pinball):

I couldn’t say words I thought I was saying them and my fiancee was looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

To be sure I’m being clear, let me restate: Frankie Muniz, teen star of ten years ago, 26 years old, had a stroke this week.
The Superbowl! Manly men pounding each other, beer, chicken wings and chili. More beer. Add in some half-time entertainment and you own the 35+ male demographic for a Sunday night. You can almost hear the planners discussing the half-time entertainment: “we’ve done The Who, Springsteen, The Stones. Who’s next? Led Zeppelin? They won’t come. AC/DC? Aerosmith? Bob Seger?

Beyonce? A-ha! Those 50-year old men will love that.

As part of a $50-million deal with Pepsi that will see the Cola maker own Beyonce in a sponsorship sense, Beyonce will headline the Pepsi sponsored half-time show at the years Superbowl in New Orleans.

The NFL better hope it’s a close game or they’ll lose their audience for the second half.

And so it comes to this. A&E was once truly an arts based station with quality programming. Now? It’s being sued by Dave Hestor, “star” of Storage Wars, for $750,000.

Hestor, a former cast member of the “buy a locker and overprice the goods for the camera” show, is complaining in a lawsuit that the show was rigged. According to the lawsuit, the show’s producers would regularly hide “valuable and unusual effects to add effect.” While I’m not sure what a valuable effect is, the bottom line is the producers are salting the lockers. Or, as the lawsuit puts it, “nearly every aspect of the show is faked.”

If you run a TV network, here’s a good rule of thumb. Lie down with the greediest half dozen people you can find, you’ll wind up in court, guaranteed.

Ravi Shankar (1920-2012)

In the 60’s rock fans and musicians raced to sit at the feet of sitar player Ravi Shankar after George Harrison took lessons from Shankar and then used the sitar in the hit song Norwegian Wood. Soon, Brian Jones would have one, and The Animals and The Byrds would be using a sitar in songs.

Shankar performed at Woodstock, collaborated with Jean-Pierre Rampal and John Coltrane and is father to Grammy winning singer-songwriter Norah Jones. His influence on rock and pop music, and in bringing Eastern music to Western ears is immeasurable. Upon his death this week, Indian Prime Minister Monmohan Singh called him a National Treasure.

Shankar died this week in Southern California. He had upper respiratory and heart problems after having heart valve replacement surgery last week. He was 92.

May he Rest in Peace.

Fluffernutter Anne Hathaway, Beyonce, Borgore, Dave Hestor, Frankie Muniz, Gangnam Style, Heart, Les Miserables, Miley Cyrus, Psy, Ravi Shankar, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Rush, Storage Wars

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

There’s always been an equation in regards to The Rolling Stones:

Mick Jagger loves money > Mick Jagger hates Kieth Richards

It was always the one factor that made you think a 50th anniversary tour would be a go. However, recent news that a tour will not happen in 2012 leads one to think that the equation has changed. So what then to make of the news that the Stones will be going into the studio “later in April… just to throw some ideas around.”

One hopes what we can make of it is that a) a new Stones album is coming and b) the old Fleetwood Mac theory that tension makes great records.

I’m not generally sympathetic to stars who want to whine how hard they have it, and last year I started the new year by having a go at Kim Cattrall for complaining about a fan asking for a picture at an upscale (very upscale) eatery. As well, I’m not a Katy Perry fan, so how do I end up being on Perry’s side in the current controversy regarding her statements on fame in Teen Voque. Well, because she said being famous is a pain, and it most surely is. About her fans, however, she didn’t say anything negative. In fact, I love what she said about fans:

I still want to be as approachable and reasonable as possible – when I meet fans and their crying, I’ll say, “Calm down, there’s nothing to cry about. I’m not going to bite you, or attack you, or grant you three wishes.

Fame sucks, but the fans are great, what’s controversial about that? Yet this week, Perry is backtracking, stating, “the fame quote was spoken in jest.” No it wasn’t, stand by what you meant: love the songs, love the fans, not so much the other stuff.

Frankly, Perry has always struck me as someone who set out to be a singer, and got caught in the fame (as compared to say, Lady Gaga, who caught the fame bug).

She should find a way to keep singing without the glare of the spotlight. Time to form a band perhaps, or do some cameos. In short, do the Joss Stone circuit

It’s crazy poker week he at Fluffernutter World Headquarters, and rock singers are wild. First up is Axl Rose, with his Davey Jones dance moves and his childlike egocentricity.

Years since he’s done anything of note, years since he’s produced listenable music, he’s still such a diva. Exhibit #umpteen-thousand happened this week when Rose released a letter declining his induction into the rock and roll hall of fame. The letter is so obviously from the mind of an out of control, arrogant moron, yet something that could only have come from Axl Rose.

I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns ‘N’ Roses to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf.

Offering to match Rose’s disinclination to induction, Courtney Love saw Rose’s letter to the hall and raised him one wild accusation against a respected member of the rock community.

In a twitter tirade against Dave Grohl this week, the widow Cobain claims Grohl hit on her teenage daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. While the press bent over backward to poo-poo the claim based on the incontrovertible evidence that Grohl’s a nice guy and Love a whack job, the teenage daughter in question had the best response:

While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I’ve never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother.

Did you get that Dave Grohl? Being hit on by you would be gross. For the record, Grohl himself also denies any advances towards the Miss Cobain, and with her denial, that pretty much seems to settle that.

Breaking News: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are engaged.

With presses duly stopped, the story of Pitt designing the ring he gave to his now fiancé. The “massive” ring was spotted when the couple were out and about Wednesday night.

Pitt and Jolie have been dating for seven years, when Pitt left his wife Jennifer Aniston for his now fiancé, Jolie. The pair have six children together, three adopted, a daughter born in 2006 and twins born in 2008.

At least we know he’s not marrying her because he has to.

Fluffernutter Angelina Jolie, Axl Rose, Brad Pitt, Courtney Love, Dave Grohl, Frances Bean Cobain, Guns 'n' roses, katy perry, Kieth Richards, Mick Jagger, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Rolling Stones

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Hottie Scarlett Johannson has split from hunky Ryan Reynolds after two years of wedded bliss:

After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage.

Wouldn’t it have been better if they had given “long and careful consideration,” before they got married? And wouldn’t it have been more honest if the announcement had said, “We’ve both decided we can’t continue to live with someone prettier than me.” ?

Brother and Sister in TV life, ex-husband and wife off TV. In a marriage that was so creepy for no good reason, Dexter siblings Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter have split.

They have been, reports indicate, “separated for some time.”

Having missed the last few weeks, here is some stories worth noting:

• Miley Cyrus caught on video smoking from a bong: Hammered Montana: Non-Stop Dank Party
• Wesley Snipes surrenders to authorities to begin his three year prison term for income tax evasion: how the world is better after this Federal Snipe hunt I‘m still not sure.
• Willie Nelson pot bust in Texas: who ever imagined if you cross Hannah Montana with Wesley Snipes, you’d get Willie Nelson?

We used to have a saying in our youthful, less delicate days of yore: wouldn’t f#@& her with your …

From the “perhaps we can just forgo the whole horseman drama and go straight to separating the sinners and the faithful,” department:

If Mariah Carey is pregnant is a sign of the apocalypse, what is Mariah Carey is expecting twins a sign of? Surely not just that the IQ of the Carey/Cannon household will soon approach triple digits?

And hey, who’s that guy with the beard and sandals?

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced it’s 2011 inductees…

Ladies and Gentlemen, the cream of rock and roll music, class of 2011:

• Neil Diamond
• Tom Waits
• Alice Cooper
• Darlene Love
• Dr. John

Leon Russell will also be given the award formerly known as the sideman (now called, boringly, the award for musical excellence).

Alice Cooper is a definite, Dr. John and Tom Waits OK, but in the most liberal definitions of rock and roll, how does Neil Diamond get inducted? And who is Darlene Love? If a music geek like me has never heard of her, should she really be in a hall of fame?

Blake Edwards (1922-2010) – Highlights’ of a life well lived:

Blake Edwards was married to Julie Andrews and was played by John Lithgow on film. He script wrote on Orson Welles infamous The War of the Worlds and created the Peter Gunn series. He had his hand in Victor Victoria, The Party and The Day of Wine and Roses. He is responsible for The Pink Panther series of movies.

For all the above, and so much more that Blake Edwards accomplished, there is still one achievement that, to my mind, is the feather in Edwards career cap. Edwards directed Breakfast at Tiffany’s, one of the best movies ever.

Edwards died this week, with his wife and children by his side, of complications of pneumonia in Santa Monica. He was 88.

Fluffernutter Alice Cooper, Blake Edwards, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Darlene Love, Dexter, Dr. John, Hannah Montana, Jennifer Carpenter, Julie Andrews, Leon Russell, Mariah Carey, Michael C. Hall, Miley Cyrus, Neil Diamond, Nick Canon, Orson Welles, Pamela Anderson, Peter Gunn, Playboy, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johannson, The Day of Wine and Roses, The Party, The War of the Worlds, Tom Waits, Victor Victoria, Wesley Snipes, Willie Nelson

… Geoffrey Arnold Beck

Jeff Beck is the middle of the three great Yardbird guitarists, his time with the legendary band squeezed between Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page. Never a great improviser, songwriter or singer he is often underestimated. His renderings of other people music is, however, often brilliant and his guitar playing is as good as any in the rock genre. It is no exaggeration to call him a great guitarist, far more so than the more highly celebrated Clapton, in my opinion.

Beck’s first post-Yardbirds group would feature a young Rod Stewart on vocals and future Rolling Stone Ron Wood on bass. It was considered the template for friend and Yardbird band-mate Jimmy Page’s future band,  Led Zeppelin (the name Led Zeppelin incidentally, emerged from a recording session called Beck’s Bolero, with Beck Who drummer Kieth Moon, Pianist Nicky Hopkins and future Zeppeliners Page and John Paul Jones).

Beck was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year, many years too late (he was, of course, previously inducted as a Yardbird).

Jeff Beck, one of the true greats of rock ‘n’ roll guitar, happy 65th birthday:  enjoy your seniors discount years.

Beck’s Bolero

Beck Bogart and Appice – Superstition

Birthday Wishes, Rockin' and Rollin' and Never Forgettin' Beck Bogart Appice, Beck's Bolero, Carmine Appice, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Jeff Beck Group, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, Kieth Moon, Led Zeppelin, Nicky Hopkins, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Rod Stewart, Rolling Stones, Ron Wood, Tim Bogart, Yardbirds