Saturday Fluffernutter: The Penis Edition: Big Ones, Loud Ones; Thumping Around Ones
All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities
Singer Ricky Martin, long rumoured to be gay, last week announced he was… gay.
In a statement on his website, Martin said week:
I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.
No real surprise, I can’t listen to Livin’ La Vida Loca without feeling gay, never mind singing it every night.
Sixteen year old singing sensation/tweener heartthrob Justin Beiber commented to People magazine this week about President Barack Obama mis-pronouncing his name at Beiber’s first visit to the White House last year:
He messed up my name, but I give it to him. He’s not (the) age category I sing to. He’s not “one less lonely girl”.
I would have preferred if he had said, “Dude. You can pronounce Netanyahu, but you can’t get Bee-ber? Put it on the teleprompter and get it right next time.” However, the “it’s more than I expect from some old, square guy,” routine that he went with was good too.
Life and Style magazine has gone undercover to find out, which Hollywood big shots have big shooters. The big men about town, in no particular order, we hope, are: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette, David Spade, Jamie Kennedy, Brian Austen Green, Jaret Leto and Andy Dick.
Noticeably absent from the list is any of those Hollywood loudmouth types (DiCaprio excepted) like Sean Penn or Matt Damon, proving once again, guys with big dicks don’t have to go around acting like they have big dicks.
From the Department of Segues 
I never thought I’d use: speaking of Penises (penisi?), Mutt Lange’s ex-wife (a very quiet guy if your ever looking for one) Shania Twain is back in the public eye, causing millions of penisi world-wide top thump around in excitement, “I was in a very deep, dark slump, and I needed to find a way to get myself out of it,” Twain told People, causing thousands of those penises to explode.
Malcolm McLaren (1946-2010) – In 1976 Malcolm McLaren took a band he was managing and replaced first the bass player, then added a singer. The singer, who would audition for McLaren miming to an Alice Cooper song wearing an I hate Pink Floyd short (the words written on after the fact), changed his name to Johnny Rotten, the band to the Sex Pistols. They would stay together two years, scandalising Britain with their celebration of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee with their version of God Save the Queen (She ain’t a human bein’).
The Sex Pistols broke up on their first American tour, and McLaren would go on to break up Adam and the Ants, and regroup them as Bow Wow Wow and Adam Ant. He also had a lengthy music career of his own, begining with 1983’s Duck Walk.
McLaren died this week, aged 64, after a battle with the rare form of cancer, malignant mesothelioma.
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