At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“Do you know who I am?”

It is the second worse line a celebrity can use in public. (the worst being, “if Anne Frank was alive today, she would be a nobody who comes to honour me.”)

Last weekend, Legally Blonde, and technically very cute, Reese Witherspoon got into some trouble with police in Georgia after asking the officer involved, “Do you know my name?” After advising Witherspoon that he’s sure it will be on the arrest sheet (it was), she said “You are about to find out who I am. You’re going to be on the national news.”

Witherspoon wound up with a disorderly conduct while her husband, Jim Toth, got a much more serious driving while intoxicated charge.

To her credit,Witherspoon the next day admitted she may have drank more than was strictly neccesary: “I clearly had one drink too many and i am deeply embarrassed about the things I said… I was disrespectful to the officer, who was just doing his job…”

Say what you want about Reese Witherspoon’s actions above, at least when she says “do you know who I am?” there’s a reasonable chance the answer is yes. Se is, after all, an A-list movie star.

Not so much Tara Reid, who pulled the “do you know who I am?” card in an LA clothing store this week (actually no, who are you? – ed). Reid, who apparently was in some movie ten years ago, was shopping at All Saints when she reportedly freaked out because, get this, she was asked to pay full price.

“Tara gets a huge discount with All Saints in the UK and Paris because she’s a walking billboard (oh, is that what they’re calling it these days – ed),” her people said. While her reps dispute that Reid was drunk and/or obnoxious while in the store, there seems to be no dispute she’s an egomaniacal cheapskate.

Then there’s Sandra Bullock. Bullock’s new movie, The Heat, is a cop movie based in Boston. Bullock plays an FBI agent sent to work on a case alongside a Local Boston cop, played by Melissa McCarthy.

Producers of The Heat have decided to host a special screening in Boston for emergency workers affected by the Boston Marathon bombing.

“I don’t think a screening would ever be enough (or) feel like it’s enough to do for them,”  the classy Bullock said.

See ladies, that’s how it’s done.

Here’s a shock headline:

Drugs, stun gun found on empty Justin Bieber tour bus by Swedish police.

Am I the only one whose first reaction was, the Swedish care if you have drugs on your bus?

Swedish police raided the bus during the Beib’s concert Wednesday, after smelling marijuana outside the bus during the day. No charges have been laid, and the drug found has not been reported, but as they smelled marijuana, and it’s Beiber’s bus, certain assumptions can be made.

This from the stories with a faint stench about them file: Country singer Billy Currington was indicted in Georgia on Wednesday for “threatening bodily harm to a man older than 65,” and making terroristic threats.

This seems to stem from a dispute with a charter boat operator who runs out of a pier near Currington’s lakeside home. The boat operator, Charles Harvey Ferrelle, says Currington jumped in his own boat and chased Ferrelle around, yelling and taking pictures.

Currington is, for his part, saying not much, but implied on twitter that Ferrelle was taking customers by his house intentionally, so that they could take pictures.

Ritchie Havens (1941-2013)

At 5:00 on Friday August 15th, 1969, Ritchie Havens stepped on the stage in Bethel NY to perform 4 songs to open Woodstock. Anywhere between 45-minutes and 2-and-a-half hours later, Havens left the stage having, according Havens, played every song he knows, including Happy Birthday and some Christmas carols. According to legend, Havens was an unexpected hit with the audience, and all of the other bands where stuck in traffic trying to get to the show, so organizers asked him to keep playing.

Havens was a working musician all his life, announcing his retirement from touring after 45-years in March, 2012. This week, Ritchie Havens died suddenly of a heart attack, age 72. May he Rest in Peace

Fluffernutter, Saturday Morning Coffee Billy Currington, Justin Beiber, Reese Witherspoon, Ritchie Havens, Sandra Bullock, Tara Reid

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Love this: New York Times fashion reporter Cathy Horyn said of designer Donatella Versace, after seeing Lady Gaga’s outfits, “be choosier, Ms. Versace.”

This week, Gaga hit back:

Shouldn’t columnists and reviewers, such as Cathy Horyn, employ a more modern and forward approach to criticism, one that separates them from the average individual at home on their laptop?”

Speaking as an average individual at home on my laptop, who doesn’t get paid to be snide to the vastly over-rated, yes, some level of sophistication would be nice.

But then again, professional singers should be more modern and forward, separating them from the average teenage wannabee on YouTube, but you can’t have everything.

Alec Balwin and George Clooney, two guys who suppose to tell us little people how we should vote (i.e. like them), have both eschewed politics in no uncertain terms. Alec Balwin, for example, asks rhetorically

Would I rather be handcuffed to the emergency command centre in Maspeth during a hurricane, holding down the fort and making sure all the ploughs are working… or would I rather spend some of that 30 Rock money traveling the world with my girlfriend?

Er, yes well. George Clooney on the other hand – a person not afraid to criticize those who make the tough decision, at least until three years ago – doesn’t have the stomach for tough decisions:

If I make a mistake it’s not going to cost 100,000 people their lives. I’m very happy telling stories. Films don’t hurt people.

What is the antonym for putting your money where your mouth is?

If not politics, how about ice cream Alec Baldwin?

In a 1998 Saturday Night Live skit, Alec Baldwin played Pete Schweddy, a baker who was trying to market rum, popcorn and cheese balls, known as “Schweddy Balls.” Now Ben & Jerry has created a vanilla and rum-flavoured ice cream with fudge-covered rum balls. The name? Schweddy Balls Ice Cream.

Ice cream or politics… ice cream or politics… yea I’d pick ice cream too.

This is a small blog, 100 or so visitors a day. On top of that, I play in a band that performs for 100 people once every six months or so. What this means is I am famous enough to be on Dancing with the Stars, if only I would lower my expectations.

Case in point, Chaz Bono, famous by being daughter of Sonny and Cher and changing her status from maiden to man. He is now “losing weight,” by dancing in preparation of the show.

Now, I am aware Chaz has not been a man for long, so I’m willing to extend the courtesy of explaining certain inalienable facts to Mr. Bono: Men don’t dance to lose weight. Women dance to lose weight, women dance because they enjoy it, women dance with other women and women dance like no one else is watching. Men dance to meet/impress/please the women. Men play basketball, jog, ride a bike or box to lose weight. They dance cause they have to. And men never, ever, dance with other men, especially to lose weight.

So I’m driving down the road, and a sweet, petite blond is jogging along the sidewalk. Hey, is that perennial cutie Reese Witherspoon? I slow down, half checking out Reese, half watching where I’m going, when to my horror I turn into Reese Witherspoon. I can see how it would happen.

However, when Witherspoon was hit while jogging in Santa Monica this week, it had nothing to do with some guy checking her out. Rather it was an 84 year old woman, who was driving 20 miles and hour because she’s an 84 year old woman.

Nonetheless, Witherspoon was taken by ambulance for minor injuries, and released.

Keith: The Movie.

Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards autobiography, Life, is set to get the big movie treatment. The big question is, who play’s Keith? Johnny Depp seems obvious, but what if he’s not available? Who do you get to handle that character?

Here’s my cast choices:

Kieth: Johnny Depp
Brian Jones: Owen Wilson
Mick Jagger: Ben Affleck
Bill Wyman: Benicio del Toro
Charlie Watts: George Clooney
Anita Pallenberg: Olivia Wilde
Mick Taylor: Kevin Bacon (he has to be in every movie)
Ron Wood: Hugh Lawrie

The Academy of Motion Picture &tc. have announced that this years Oscars will be hosted by… Eddie Murphy. Yes, the guy who voices Donkey.

Because apparently Ray J. Johnson was unavailable.

Fluffernutter alec baldwin, Cathy Horyn, Chaz Bono, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Keith Richards, Lady Gaga, Pete Schweddy, Reese Witherspoon