At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Reports that Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z booked a floor at New York’s, Lenox Hill Hospital so Beyonce could have a cesarian delivery last weekend, are greatly exaggerated, says the hospital.

Apparently the singer and her rapper husband booked the entire fourth floor and their security prevented other parents of the hospital seeing their newborn, and sometimes sick, children. The hospital, however, doth protest:

The suggestion that the couple paid $1.3 million to rent an entire an entire maternity floor is sim ply not true. The family is housed in an executive suite at the hospital and is being billed the standard rate for those accommodations.

The family does have it’s own security detail on site. However, the hospital has been and continues to be in control of managing all security at the facility.

Is it just me, or did the hospital just get itself named in any lawsuits from disgruntled parents?

The new addition to the Z family is called Blue Ivy Carter, after the title of two of the stars albums.

Remember when Britney Spears was an underage singer from the bible belt and swore that she would remain a virgin until marriage? Next thing you know, she’s stepping out with Paris Hilton in a short dress and no underwear.

Now it’s 17 year old Justin Bieber’s turn to swear that adulthood won’t change the child. He tells V magazine:

I’m not going to try to conform to what people want me to be or go out there and start partying, have people see me with alcohol… I’m never goings to make myself so the parents and kids don’t respect me…

Look out Paris, looks like you have a new drinking buddy.

News in the rock world that Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with lymphoma.

The guitarist was working on a new album with his former band mates – including Ozzy Osbourne – and a reunion tour of the original Black Sabbath was planned for 2012.

The band has moved it’s recording and rehearsing from LA to England, and Iommi has been both writing and recording since his diagnosis. HIs illness has, in fact, given the band “a kick up the rump- it’s great to hear him churning out those riffs again.”

The band plans to honour their summer European dates, but no word on any further concerts at this stage.

Here’s wishing Tony Iommi well.

Review in brief – Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: Silence of the Lambs, but dark and edgy.

The Golden Globes were held last Sunday, and all the stars dressed up, drank up and prepared to listen to Ricky Gervais mock them, which he really didn’t.

Unlike the Oscars, the Golden Globes breaks down the movies into categories, but some prognostication of the Oscars can be made based on the Golden Globes. The Golden Globe winners to watch for at the Oscars are: George Clooney, best actor for The Descendants (beating hsi pal, and other oscar favourite, Brad Pitt in Moneyball; Meryl Streep as best actress in The Iron Lady; The Artist for best movie.

The Golden Globe for most honest reaction goes to Elton John’s husband David Furnish. Of news that Elton lost to Madonna for best song, Furnish turned on his twitter app and wrote:

Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!…
Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in it’s narcissism. And her critisism ofGaga shows how desperate she really is. (sic)

He later clarified things telling the New York Post:

I think it was a fluke. When this happens you have to question the integrity of the awards. Did Madonna get the Golden Globe because she attended the awards and agreed to be a presenter?

Can you sing Madonna’s song? Can you hum it? It’s a song nobody has heard from a film few have seen. The award should have gone to Mary J. Blige or Elton.

Nice back-peddling David.

For the record, if I had a vote, I’d pick Madonna’s song. And yes, it pains me deeply to write that.

Fluffernutter Beyonce, Black Sabbath, Blue Ivy Carter, Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, David Furnish, Elton John, George Clooney, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Golden Globes, Jay Z, Justin Beiber, Madonna, Mary J Blige, Meryl Streep, moneyball, Ozzy Osbourne, Paris Hilton, Ricky Gervais, The Artist, The Descendants, The Iron Lady, Tony Iommi

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

A large part of the tragedy of the Amy Winehouse story comes via her father, Mitch Winehouse. When Rehab, Winehouse’s ode to denial was a hit he begged fans not to buy the song and album. Your just encouraging her, he said at the time, and it’s going to kill her.

At a private funeral this week, he offered a 40 minute eulogy, telling hundreds of her friends and family while she may have been a troubled star, or a talented singer to millions, to them she was their “angel.”

The poor man humanizes this sad story and makes you wish for a different outcome.

Meanwhile, Amy’s ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil did not attend the funeral. Fielder, who divorced Winehouse in 2009 after a 2-year marriage, is serving a 32-month sentence for burglary and possession of a firearm. While he is reported in “inconsolable,” over the news of her death, he did not ask for compassionate leave to attend the funeral. He apparently didn’t want to attend in handcuffs out of respect for Winehouse and her family. If true, it may be the first decent thing he’s done since he and Winehouse came to public notice.

Ashton Kutcher is a moron. I know, I know, “news flash.” But seriously, here’s what he tweeted after Amy Winehouse died:

I nevr know wht 2 post after paying respect 2 sum1 who died. Just seems lk anything funny is inappropriate. mayB I’ll just go C HarryPotter

Besides making my spell check cry, there is so much wrong with this. Yes, anything funny is inappropriate, but so is dismissively adding you’ll go “C HarryPotter.” Of course perhaps that was a little joke- the very sentence after saying jokes are inappropriate. Sigh.

Here’s the thing, you stupid, stupid man. If you can’t even take the time to spell correctly for a small tribute to someone who has just died, then don’t bother! Better nothing be said than an illiterate rambling that comes across as disrespectful for the deceased, and makes you look dumb as a bag of hammers – very dumb hammers.

Meanwhile U2 does it right, dedicating Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of, to Winehouse.

“We wrote this next song for Michael Hutchence,” Bono told the audience, “but you will understand if tonight we play it for Amy Winehouse.”

Hutchence was the former singer for the band INXS, who committed suicide in 1997.

See Ashton Kutcher, that’s how it’s done, a nice sentiment simply stated. It doesn’t have to be about you.

Sandra Bullok’s ex- moron husband Jesse James has split from the woman he left Bullock for. Tattoo model Kat Von D and James announced this week they have broken up.

Lets see, can’t stick with the wholesome, pretty all American girl, can’t stick with the filthy tattooed skank. Maybe James just doesn’t do this whole relating with other humans very well.

Will they, or won’t they?

Gene Simmons got down on bended knee this week on his reality show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels. Simmons proposed to his long time lover and mother of his 2 adult children, during the finale of the reality show.

After a spat on the Joy Behar show a few weeks ago, it looked like splitsville for the pair. Wether the proposal was filmed before or since the Behar show, I can’t seem to find out.I Guess we have to tune in next season to see what she says.

It’s all so romantic.

Not everybody split up this week, some people were reconciling. Case in point: Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

The two had fallen out previously, but this week Lohan turned up at a Hilton party. While the two did not hug, kiss and/or announce an upcoming night on the town sans underwear, the appearance marks the first time the two have been seen in the same space in some time.

You know what Paris and Lindsay together means, don’t you. Means we here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters are going to have a banner season.

Fluffernutter Amy Wi, Ashton Kutcher, Blake Fielder-Civil, Bono, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Jesse James, Kat Von D, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Hutchence, Mitch Winehouse, Paris Hilton, Sandra Bullock, Shannon Tweed, U2

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

While Charlie Sheen managed the almost impossible, getting himself fired from three and a half men, CBS has done the unimaginable: made itself look dumber and having less self control than Charlie Sheen.

After a few incidents of wife beating, a scared-hooker-in-the-closet-cocaine-binge, yet another briefcase full of blow and hooker scandal and a judge ordering his children removed from his care, Sheen finally went too far: he insulted his bosses, resulting in his firing from his hit TV show. Since then the Wild Thing has gone somewhat off the deep end with online YouTube rants, bizarre interviews and an upcoming speaking tour where he’ll say God only knows what.

The easy thing for CBS to do is stick to it’s guns, and don’t let him back on his show unless he gets himself straightened out.

So why is CBS now saying they want him back? And will they pay him the $1M more an episode that Sheen has said will be his price to come back? Probably, because stupid things are what enablers do, and CBS has become just that in this sad saga.

Sarah Palin strikes again: Wyclef Jean shot while campaigning in Haiti.

In yet another example of an out of control tea party, singer/guitarist Wyclef Jean was shot while campaigning for Haitian Presidential candidate Michel Martelly. Rapper Busta Rhymes was in the car with Jean when shots were fired at it, grazing the Wyclefian hand.

While no evidence actually exists that the shooting had anything to do with the American Tea Party movement, we all know the Tea Party is not a fan of rap music or men named Jean.

Da proof, after all, is in in da proof.

Lindsay Lohan has decided her problems stem from that age old issue of… her name. What La Lohan needs, says La Lohan to self, is a change of moniker. So, officially, her new name will be…

Lindsay.

No Lohan, just Lindsay.

Yea, that’ll fool the bailiff.

Speaking of Lindsay, she has opted for trial by jury in her case of the pilfered choker. There was rumour she was resigned to the idea of some jail time and was going to accept a plea bargain, but has decided not to accept a plea, and will be judged by a jury of her peers.

A jury of her peers? Who would be on that? Paris Hilton? Britney Spears? The ghost of Dana Plato?

It should be noted that Lindsay has maintained her innocence from the get go, and this case has the stink of mis-understanding gone too far.

Pinetop Perkins (1913-2011)

When you think of the blues masters, you think of young black men of the dust bowl era, moving up and down the Mississippi watershed, playing juke joints and parties for food and whiskey, mostly whiskey. Robert Johnson, dead of poisoning by a jealous boyfriend at 27; Lead Belly, pardoned of murder after singing a song requesting a pardon during Governor Pat Morris Neff‘s visit to Sugar Land Prison; Muddy Waters, who lived long enough to demand his due from the little white boys who would later take up his music and call it their own.

This week, we lost one of those original bluesmen. Pinetop Perkins was originally a guitar player, but changed to piano, becoming the premier boogie woogie piano player.

He played on Sonny Boy Williams King Biscuit Time Radio show. Played with Earl Hooker, recorded with Sam Phillips at Sun studios and replaced Otis Span in the Muddy Waters Band in 1969. My favourite Pinetop Perkins story relates to an arm injury that forced him to stop playing guitar: according to Wikipedia, in true Fluffernutter fashion, he “injured the tendons in his left arm in a fight with a chorus girl.” The life of a bluesman is fraught with peril.

In 2004, the car he was driving was totalled in a crash with a train. The then 91-year old Perkins was uninjured.

Pinetop Perkins played right to the end, playing his local a couple of times a week, and having gigs booked well into this year (Zep Fest 2011 was one event he was booked into). He was the oldest person to win a Grammy, earning the 2010 Best Traditional Blues Album in February, age 97. He was of the last two surviving bluesmen known to have been friends with Robert Johnson.

He died this week in Austin Texas, a life well lived.

RIP Pinetop Perkins

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011)

Elizabeth Taylor had classic beauty and violet eyes that stole the hearts of millions. She starred in Lassie movies as a child (with co-star Roddy McDowell), National Velvet at age 12, Cleopatra in 1960 – the largest, most lavish movie made at the time. Some have said in the last week she was the last of the movie stars – and certainly was among the biggest stars of the golden age of film.

Even after she was no longer starring in the big movies of the day, she was still a star, gracing the tabloids ‘til the end, and raising money and awareness for AIDS in the latter years of her life. She was larger than life.

Her health, however, was not always good and she suffered a number of problems through the years. This week she died after spending the last month in hospital with symptoms related to congestive heart failure, age 79. She was surrounded by her four children when she passed.

Fluffernutter Britney Spears, Busta Rhymes, Charlie Sheen, Dana Plato, elizabeth taylor, Lead Belly, Lindsay Lohan, Michel Martelly, Paris Hilton, Pinetop Perkins, Robert Johnson, Sarah Palin, Two and a Half Men, Wyclef Jean, Zep Fest 2011

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Dear Lindsay:

The rules are simple. Here’s how it works. You do your treatment program, you pass two drug tests a week, you stay out of jail.

Two drug tests a week Lindsay Lohan is mandated to take. Two. You know they’re coming. So how does she do? She fails both of them. On two separate, mandatory samples she tests positive for two separate drugs: cocaine on one test, amphetamine on the second. Two tests, two fails, two different drugs.

It’s hard to muster much sympathy for the bail revoked/4 weeks in jail she got for her transgression.

Paris Hilton had a better week. She dropper her silly, “it’s not my purse it’s not my – errr – gum,” defence and pleaded guilty to cocaine possession on Monday.

Hilton had been charged after being pulled over in Las Vegas on August 28th. The purse she was carrying had a small amount of cocaine. She was also charged with obstructing police after telling the officers on the scene that the purse wasn’t hers. That charge was dropped.

Hilton was fined $2,000 an ordered to complete 200 hours of community service. She was also given a suspended sentence and warned that any arrests in Nevada would result in jail time.

************

Update: The news turned bad by weeks end. It turns out some countries don’t like to allow cocaine users in. Japan, apparently, is particularly fussy on this point, and the lady so gay they named a city after her was refused entry to Japan on Tuesday.

Sigh! Another week, another sex scandal on Sesame Street… wait… what did I just write?

Singer, fashionista and all round ingénue Katy Perry was to appear on Sesame Street this week, performing a song with Elmo (who’s nose feels so good &tc.). Perry, famous for the song I Kissed a Girl was set to perform her single Hot and Cold on the pre-school MTV. The producers of Sesame Street released the clip on YouTube and then pulled it from the show “based on feedback.”

This blog has never, ever been an advocate for the sexualizing of children, and abhors the practice. But frankly, other than some really bad lip synching, there’s nothing wrong with the segment. An argument can be made that Perry is not the kind of role model we want for pre-schoolers (an argument can be made she’s not the type of role model we want for pre-teens, her target audience, but I digress), but this particular clip is tame.

Judge Judy: legal-beagle of stunning intellectual stupor:

Lindsay Lohan, I think, has to be given a dose of reality. I don’t think she has been living in the real world for a long time.

Most people stop using drugs on jail. If you‘re in jail for three months, nobody is going to get Lindsay Lohan drugs in jail.

It is ignorant idiocy to suggest drugs are not available in jail – they are more prevalent in jail than out. Other than that, she kind of has a point though.

Eddie Fisher (1928-2010) – It’s hard to imagine how big Eddie Fisher once was. Pre-Beatles pop star, host of two TV shows, father to actress Carrie (Princess Leah) Fisher, he was also what today would be major tabloid fodder.

Married to superstar Debbie Reynolds, who was Carrie’s mother, he left her for Elizabeth Taylor. Think Brad dumps Jen for Angie and your in the neighbourhood. By today’s standards, Eddie Fisher would be staring at you from the grocery store and gas station check out pretty much every week.

He was also married to Connie Stevens, a big star in her own right, as well as Terry Richard ( 21, beauty queen, he was 47) and business woman Betty Lin.

Fisher was 82, and died Wednesday from complications from a recent hip surgery.

While you were busy watching Elmo on YouTube, America lost a true icon.

Fluffernutter carrie fisher, connie stevens, debbie reynolds, eddie fisher, elizabeth taylor, elmo, judge judy, katy perry, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Paris, Brittany, Lindsay and … George? He’s prettier and a better singer than Paris, Brittany and Lindsay. Now George Michael joins the first two in the going to jail for driving while stupid category.

The former Wham! singer was sentenced to eight weeks in prison after pleading guilty to possession of cannabis and driving under the influence of drugs. He was also fined $1,725.

What’s the betting line on Michael not getting out for good behaviour?

As if karaoke night run through a pitch adjuster isn’t enough, as if the idea that paying your dues means listening to one judges mean-ish commentary for ten weeks, isn’t enough, there is now one more reason not to watch American Idol: Jennifer Lopez will be judging this years show.

To anyone who has taken the debate with me through the years that American Idol is about finding talented people and not about dispensing celebrity on those not talented enough to otherwise earn it: Jennifer Lopez is judging American Idol.

Former Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant stepped in it this week, but came out unharmed.

While on the Today show, he referred to his pre-Zeppelin Band of Joy as playing blues and “spook music.” Spook is, of course, a derogatory term for African-Americans.

Such a comment, uttered on network television in the middle of the day will result in one of two things happening, regardless of the original intent of the comment. Either a large scale media kerfuffle, resulting in career suicide or nothing at all. The latter, which is what happens, is an indication of cultural obsolescence.

Not good news either if you’re the producers of The Today show, and nobody noticed a reference to spook music during your show.

Fluffernutter American Idol, Brittany Spears, George Michael, jennifer lopez, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Robert Plant

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Was it really just two week s ago when I asked what I would write about if Lindsay Lohan got her act cleaned up? That day, the night before the post went up in fact, Paris Hilton got busted with someone else’s purse that contained gum that looked, smelled and tasted suspiciously like cocaine (good thing she didn’t step in it – haha).

This week, Brittany Spears comes to the rescue, or more specifically her former security guard does. He filed a sexual harassment lawsuit this week that claims :

– that he heard her loudly have “sexual relations while her two children where in the suite.”
– that he saw her “having vigorous sexual relations,” on two occasions
– Spears flashed him, intentionally dropping a lighter so she could bend over to pick it up in front of him, while wearing no underwear
– abused her children, hitting son Preston with his belt
– fed the children crab meat, although they are allergic.
– called herself white trash.

I’m not sure what the point of the last one is: if 1-5 is accurate, then #6 is just acknowledging a universal truth.

The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) began this week in Toronto. Here in Southern Ontario our news reports will now prominently feature the comings and goings of B actors, who have B roles in B movies that are premiering here in Toronto. As the 80’s came to a close, Toronto liked to talk about itself as a “World Class City.” Twenty years later, we fawn over Ryan Kwanten for having the good grace to honour us with his presence.

Or maybe I’m just cynical and wrong. Lets see what’s on:

Day 1… Festival Opening… Oh, an international premier…

Score: A Hockey Musical.

What’s the strangest celebrity death you can recall?

On Friday last, former ELO cellist Mike Edwards was driving on the highway when a 650lb bale of hay fell off a farm tractor, rolled down a large embankment and hit Edwards car, killing Edwards instantly.

This was all the stranger as I always thought that when a runaway hay bale ran over you it picked you up and continued on, arms and legs sticking out of the bale, and tossed you out at the end of it’s path, dazed but none the worse for wear. Of course, my mom always thought I watched too many cartoons.

Even odder than Edwards death, was the YouTube announcement of his death. It was positively Pytonesque, complete with news announcer who had a Michael Palin accent and could pronounce neither “Edwards,” or “Orchestra.”

ELO was a highly different band. Love them or hate them, ELO was the product of an era when anything went in rock and roll, and guys dragging double basses and cellos around the stage (literally) while band leader Jeff Lynne played a distorted Les Paul and sang was different and interesting. They were part standard rock band, part small orchestra and completely unusual.

Mike Edwards (1948-2010)

Fluffernutter Brittany Spears, ELO, Lindsay Lohan, Mike Edwards, Paris Hilton, Ryan Kwanten, Score: A Hockey Musical, TIFF

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Last week at this time I mused on the subject of Lindsay Lohan, and what would I fill this space with if she stays out of trouble? I put the post to bed Friday night, put myself to bed, and by the time I woke up, Paris Hilton had answered my call:

LOS ANGELES – Socialite, celebrity TV and website favorite Paris Hilton has been released by Las Vegas police after her arrest for possessing cocaine Friday night…

For the record, Paris claims

a) it wasn’t her purse
b) yes the prescription medications were hers
c) it wasn’t her cocaine and
d) she thought the cocaine was gum.

No official word on what the hell kind of gum Paris Hilton chews, but for the record Paris: nose candy is a slang term.

Authorities believed her story so much they took all the way until Tuesday to charge her with fellony possession of a controlled substance.

Axl Rose is a notoriously unreliable guy. Guns ‘N’ Roses shows are often so late, not only is the start time listed on tickets considered a suggestion, but so is the date. If you’re going to see G’N’R be prepared, be very prepared, to sit around waiting for Axl to show, and a couple of hours from support act to headliner is not unusual. It is lame and unprofessional, but it also is what it is.

Last Friday, Guns ’N’ Roses took to the stage an hour late at Britain’s famous Reading Festival. Organizers had been given strict orders from the Police that the festival was to go acoustic at 11:30. So that’s what they did, cutting the power on G’N’R during Paradise City. Ever the hint taker, Axl attempted to continue using a bullhorn, but as the guy with the McDonalds bag on his head was strumming a solid body guitar without power, he quickly lost the groove of the song, and gave up.

Reading Organizer Melvin Benn had earlier in the week assured festival goers that Guns ‘N’ Roses would perform on time, as he was under immense pressure to make sure it was so.

It was, of course, not so. Sorry Melvin.

Dad’s an electrician (retired). Industrial, mostly, but he has done some contract work through the years. And his basement is a mess. Wall to ceiling stuff, mostly what us kids accumulated through the years that they never had the heart to throw out. One day it’s going to need cleaning out, and who knows what we’ll find? Some things, however, I pretty much don’t expect to stumble across.

When renovating John Lennon’s Tittenhurst Park home, near Ascot, in 1972, a contractor kept the toilet with blue flowers painted around the bowl. “Put some flowers in it,” Lennon is reported to have told him. Whether he ever did or not is unreported.

What his son-in-law did, however, is a matter of public record. He sold it at auction last weekend for $15,500 (£9,500).

Makes a guy wonder what dear-old-dad has down there: Celine Dion’s bidet, perhaps?

GreatFreudianTweets Batman:

@saman12 unfortunately there are no words to describe how sorry I am.

Unfortunately, Lindsay Lohan’s ex was tweeting about her bulldog attacking and killing a Maltese in LA Monday, not granting a moment of self evaluation.

Uncategorized Axl Rose, Buckethead, Celine Dion, Guns 'n' roses, John Lennonm Tittenhurst PArk, Lindsay Lohan, Melvin Benn, Paris Hilton, Reading Festival, Sam Ronson

Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

The Return of the “Led Zeppelin rumour of the week, courtesy of Ramble On:”

Is Led Zeppelin going to help fill the hole in the 02 arena’s schedule left by Michael Jackson’s death? Reports are that the Zeppeliners has been offered some or all of his 50 date slot. No word from Camp Zeppelin as of yet, but with a start date of next week, you have to think this is improbable to say the least.

In other Zeppelin news, singer Robert Plant received the Commander of the British Empire this week from Prince Charles in a ceremony at Buckingham Palace. Plant’s honour means he now outranks Led Zeppelin founder and guitarist Jimmy Page, who has an Order of the British Empire. 

Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes will be appearing in an upcoming episode of “So You Think You Can Dance.” She will be paying homage to Judy Garland by singing and dancing “Get Happy,” from the 1950 musical Summer Stock.

Here’s the Garland original:

Socialite, and professional BFF Paris Hilton will take the stand this week in a lawsuit by investors for the movie Pledge This.  Producers of the movie claim Hilton reneged on a contract to promote the film when she refused interviews and “other promotional opportunities.”

Fluffernutter Abba, BFF, Get Happy, Jimmy Page, Jimmy Page OBE, Judy Garland, Katie Holmes, Led Zeppelin, Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton, Prince Charles, Robert Plant, Robert Plant CBE, Summer Stock