At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Lindsay Lohan stepped in a pile of destiny-doo this week. First she asked of Amanda Bynes, “hey, how come I had to do time for my driving infractions, and she doesn’t?” Lohan, you will recall, got sentenced to 30 days of art lessons in her home for a variety of probation and drug violations after a series of in car incidences.

Lohan, not recalling all the 2nd chances she was given, wondered why the un-convicted Bynes didn’t suffer the same fate she did after convictions, missed hearings, probation violations and failed drug tests.

Lohan then went out and committed an act of karma, clipping a man in New York City. Lohan got out of her Porsche Cayenne SUV, checked for damage, and went into the club she was heading too without so much as a “sorry ’bout the inconvenience,” to the man with an unspecified knee injury.

Upon leaving Dream nightclub, Lohan was then arrested for leaving the scene of an accident.

If only Amanda Bynes had been in jail…

I’d like see the coyote eat the road runner.
And I’d like to see Kneievel blown to bits.
I’d like see Rex Humbard lay his hands upon Moly Bea.
But I’d love to see Kate Middleton’s …

From the Fiddle on Nero file, an act of war has been committed against a sovereign, as a French photographer took clandestine pictures of the future Queen of Britain and her realms, Kate Middleton. Middleton was sunbathing topless at a private chateau and, it must be said, had a very reasonable expectation of privacy.

The pictures were then published in a French magazine, and quickly thereafter to the internet, where a google search will turn them up pretty post haste.

William, who’s mother died being chased on the streets of Paris by paparazzi, was furious and the couple has filed suit. The photographer, meanwhile, is currently in hiding. From whom, we can’t quite figure, but at least it’s not from a mob named Mohammad.

True love always finds a way. So it is with Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the Twilight heart throbs who keep their teenage fans in a tizzy with their on-screen/off-screen romance.

A while back the off-screen portion of the romance ended when Stewart was found to be having an affair with Rupert Sanders, who is much older, married and director of her movie Snow White and the Huntsman. Heartbroken and humiliated, Pattinson dumped the unfaithful Stewart and moved out of their Hollywood “love-nest.”

This week, all is right with the world again as Pattinson and Stewart have reignited the flame of love and gotten back together.

On an unrelated note, their new movie together, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, is in theaters November 16th.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Kate Middleton, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Oh, thank God! I was getting worried there.

Summit Entertainment wants to assure fans that the last installment of the Twilight movie series, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, will open in November as planned.

The future of the series was put into some (but not really much) doubt when lead actress Kristen Stewart had an affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. Problem is Stewart was in a two year relationship with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson, and Sanders is married. Pattinson has moved out of the couple’s plush LA love-nest, and speculation amongst Twilight Sagaists was the franchise was in trouble.

In Hollywood, however, money trumps love/hate every time, and everything will go as planned – excepting maybe a couple of kisses during the movies promotional period.

One of the odder developments since l’affair de Twilight has been the way the dumber members of the entertainment press have taken to dubbing Robert Pattinson as R-Patz’. Seriously, this is what you got?

In the spirit of lazy typing and worse journalism, here’s some other suggestions for shortening Robert Pattinson’s name:

Bob
R-Son
Rintint’n
Bo.P’

Furthermore, here’s some possible future headlines using the above names (warning to news editors, consider them all under copyright):

“Little Bo.P’ has lost his She.”

“Another relationship goes down in flames for R-Son.”

Cuba Gooding Jr. made actual news this week. The once upon a time star was bothered by patrons at the Old Absinthe House in New Orleans. Instead of being grateful that somebody, anybody recognized and remembered him, Gooding got offended and loud. When asked to leave by a female bartender, CuGo© allegedly pushed the bar maid.

Police became involved and issued a warrant for CuGo’s© arrest. The actor, however, went to the police station, had a nice chat with some officers, and the incident is reportedly closed.

Fluffernutter Cuba Gooding Jr., Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Rupert Sanders, Snow White and the Huntsman, The Twilight Saga

RIP to Donna Summer, Queen of Disco, who passed yesterday after a battle with cancer.

Meanwhile Kristen Stewart stepped out London this week to promote her new movie, Snow White and the Huntsman, wearing Led Zeppelin.

Cool For Cats Donna Summer, Kristen Stewart, Led Zeppelin

Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

Britney Spears returned to the stage with her new Circus tour in Louisiana this week The early review: not good. No audience engagement and, according to People magazine,  “given that Spears probably doesn’t do much live singing either, it left a definite chill in the air.” Ouch.

Morkian funny-man Robin Williams was hospitalized with “heart issues.” The 57 year old comedian was in Florida to perform his one man show “Weapons of Self Destruction,”  when he complained of shortness of breath.

The tour has been postponed and Williams will have an aortic valve replacement surgery. Best wishes and Godspeed to Robin Williams.

Fifteen year old Dakota Fanning is progressing her career toward adulthood by taking on the role of Cheri Currie in the upcoming Runaways biopic. It’s a nice transition role from child star to adulthood, as Currie was a fifteen year old when she joined the infamous LA band. A child herself, Currie none the less strolled the stage in garter and stockings singing songs of teenage rebellion and sexuality.

The movie will also star Twilight’s Kristen Stewart as Runaway guitarist Joan Jett.

Britney, Fluffernutter Britney, Cheri Currie, Circus Tour, Dakota Fanning, Jacksonville, Joan Jett, Kristen Stewart, Louisiana, Robin Williams, Runaways, South Florida, Spears, Twilight, Weapons of Self Destruction