At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Hottie Scarlett Johannson has split from hunky Ryan Reynolds after two years of wedded bliss:

After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage.

Wouldn’t it have been better if they had given “long and careful consideration,” before they got married? And wouldn’t it have been more honest if the announcement had said, “We’ve both decided we can’t continue to live with someone prettier than me.” ?

Brother and Sister in TV life, ex-husband and wife off TV. In a marriage that was so creepy for no good reason, Dexter siblings Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter have split.

They have been, reports indicate, “separated for some time.”

Having missed the last few weeks, here is some stories worth noting:

• Miley Cyrus caught on video smoking from a bong: Hammered Montana: Non-Stop Dank Party
• Wesley Snipes surrenders to authorities to begin his three year prison term for income tax evasion: how the world is better after this Federal Snipe hunt I‘m still not sure.
• Willie Nelson pot bust in Texas: who ever imagined if you cross Hannah Montana with Wesley Snipes, you’d get Willie Nelson?

We used to have a saying in our youthful, less delicate days of yore: wouldn’t f#@& her with your …

From the “perhaps we can just forgo the whole horseman drama and go straight to separating the sinners and the faithful,” department:

If Mariah Carey is pregnant is a sign of the apocalypse, what is Mariah Carey is expecting twins a sign of? Surely not just that the IQ of the Carey/Cannon household will soon approach triple digits?

And hey, who’s that guy with the beard and sandals?

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced it’s 2011 inductees…

Ladies and Gentlemen, the cream of rock and roll music, class of 2011:

• Neil Diamond
• Tom Waits
• Alice Cooper
• Darlene Love
• Dr. John

Leon Russell will also be given the award formerly known as the sideman (now called, boringly, the award for musical excellence).

Alice Cooper is a definite, Dr. John and Tom Waits OK, but in the most liberal definitions of rock and roll, how does Neil Diamond get inducted? And who is Darlene Love? If a music geek like me has never heard of her, should she really be in a hall of fame?

Blake Edwards (1922-2010) – Highlights’ of a life well lived:

Blake Edwards was married to Julie Andrews and was played by John Lithgow on film. He script wrote on Orson Welles infamous The War of the Worlds and created the Peter Gunn series. He had his hand in Victor Victoria, The Party and The Day of Wine and Roses. He is responsible for The Pink Panther series of movies.

For all the above, and so much more that Blake Edwards accomplished, there is still one achievement that, to my mind, is the feather in Edwards career cap. Edwards directed Breakfast at Tiffany’s, one of the best movies ever.

Edwards died this week, with his wife and children by his side, of complications of pneumonia in Santa Monica. He was 88.

Fluffernutter Alice Cooper, Blake Edwards, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Darlene Love, Dexter, Dr. John, Hannah Montana, Jennifer Carpenter, Julie Andrews, Leon Russell, Mariah Carey, Michael C. Hall, Miley Cyrus, Neil Diamond, Nick Canon, Orson Welles, Pamela Anderson, Peter Gunn, Playboy, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johannson, The Day of Wine and Roses, The Party, The War of the Worlds, Tom Waits, Victor Victoria, Wesley Snipes, Willie Nelson

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Nashville is sinking man, and Taylor don’t wanna swim…

It’s not making the news like other natural disasters do, mostly it seems because Nashvillian’s are looking after themselves, not looking for the federal government to look after them. However, Nashville is enduring a major flood and the country music world is stepping up. The Country Music Association is donating half the proceeds from their annual CMA music festival to flood relief. The festival runs June 10-13 in Nashville.

Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is donating half-a-million dollars to flood relief. She made the announcement on a local telethon, “Flood Relief with Vince Gill and Friends.”

In other country music news, two of country’s “hottest singles,” are off the market as Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton are engaged. Thirty-three year old Shelton, winner of 2010’s Country Music Associations, “Vocal Event of the Year,” proposed to proposed to the twenty-six year old, five time Academy of Country Music Award winner on Sunday in Oklahoma.

Being an olde timey kind of guy, Shelton even asked Lambert’s father, Rick, for permission to marry her. Rick apparently didn’t reply:

You marry Miranda? have you seen Miranda? Have you seen you? Go away and come back when you have won as many awards as her.

No word on when the wedding will be.

Meanwhile, in London, Julie Andrews fans are flooding the airwaves with complaints after Andrews gave a concert Saturday at the O2 arena in which she sang only two songs. The legendary actress and singer sang A Cockeyed Optimist, and My Funny Valentine, but left the bulk of the singing to others. Andrews, 74, who had a botched voice operation in 1997, also narrated a musical staging of the children’s book she wrote with her daughter.

One Brit-tab ran the headline, “The Tills are Alive with the Sounds of Refunds.”

Sean Penn pleaded no contest this week to charges of vandalism this week after he was videotaped kicking a photographer. He was sentenced to 300 hours of community service and three years of informal probation. How does an assault, on video, become vandalism? What’s the charge for spray painting walls? A speeding ticket?

In other celebrity legal news, Lindsay Lohan missed a court appearance in her impaired driving case a few weeks ago, leading to speculation she will plead no contest to embezzlement.

Russell Crowe, somewhat known for being quick to rile, got upset and stormed out of an interview in England this week. When the interviewer suggested Crowe had a bit of an Irish accent in his new movie, Robin Hood, Crowe became angered and yelled:

What would you be talkin’ about, ya fekin gobsheit! Ya stupid wee man, ya wouldn’t know an Irish accent if it dropped it’s pot of gold on your toes.

He then finished his Guiness and stormed off.

Top signs that Russell Crowe is angry:

– Puts a petrol bomb under your bonnet
– Stands and drops his pants, all the while yelling Pogue Mahone
– Knee-caps you with a hurl.
– Dons an Aaron sweater and says, “I like it too.”
– Drops his pot of gold on your toes.
– Guest edit’s the Globe and Mail
– Bops you on the head with his shillelagh.

Lena Horne (1917 – 2010). Lena Horne was known as an actress and civil rights activist, but it was her silky voice by which millions knew her. Enduring racism early in her career, Horne became an activist in the American civil rights movement of the 1960‘s. She appeared in seven feature films, including Stormy Weather, which produced her biggest hit, the title track.

Lena Horne died this week, aged 92.

Fluffernutter A Cockeyed Optimist, Blake Shelton, Country Music Association, Julie Andrews, Lena Horne, Lindsay Lohan, Miranda Lambert, My Funny Valentine, Nashville, O2 arena, Robin Hood, Russell Crowe, Sean Penn, Taylor Swift, Vince Gill