At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Seventies rock band that simply refuse to accept a good embalming, Aerosmith, may be breaking up. “Steven [Singer Steven Tyler] quit as far as I can tell,” according to guitarist Joe Perry. The band hasn’t performed together since Tyler fell off a stage in August and  canceled their summer tour. It was the worst fall in rock and roll since Kieth Richards fell out of the coconut tree, giving immortality to the tree, and several nearby coconuts.

So Kate Gosselin has spent the summer polishing her resume, appearing on such staple network TV shows as The Today show, and guest-co-hosting on The View. Ex-husband Jon? He was on The Insider with ex-Bristol Palin guy-pal Levi Johnson Sunday.  Johnson said of Gosselin, “he’s a good guy… he’s getting the same bad image as I am and it ain’t true. I can relate to that.” 

Good Lord Jon! Levi Johnson? Are you paying attention to what’s happening to the shambles of your career?  Has anybodies star dropped so far so fast since Fatty Arbuckle?

Review in Brief – Men who Talk to Goats: (as told to me in two independent conversations). This would be a great movie to see stoned

Breaking News: Steven Tyler is not leaving Aerosmith. Tyler appeared on stage with Perry during a solo show to promote Perry’s new release, Have Guitar Will Travel, to announce he is still the singer for Aerosmith. He then sang Walk This Way with Perry’s band without falling off the stage or any kind of tropical tree.  

Boxer Mike Tyson was arrested this week after allegedly punching a photographer in LA. There was a time when if Tyson punched some photographer, the photographer would be on life support. Instead, he made a citizens arrest of Tyson, who also made a citizens arrest on the photog. The 50 year old paparazzi had none of his ears bitten off during the battle.

Breaking news. Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry fell out of a coconut tree, landing on Kieth Richards and causing Steven Tyler to announce he will never sing with the Rolling Stones again, unless, of course, he’s asked.

Fluffernutter Aerosmith, Fatty Arbuckle, Have Guitar Will Travel, Joe Perr, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Kieth Richards, Levi Johnson, Mike Tyson, Rolling Stones, Steven Tyler, The Insider, The Today Show, The View

Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

Oh, oh! Jon and Kate’s separation has turned to the ugly side. Kate arrived at their Wernersville, Pa. home Friday when Jon was supposed to be having his quality time with the Plus Eight. Turns out Jon called in a babysitter; turns out Jon has been tutoring the babysitter, or so says a) the tabs b) Kate. Which is odd, because Kate keeps using her couch time on their TV show, “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” to talk about how the tabloids make all this stuff up. So suddenly she believes them that Jon is boffing  23-year-old Stephanie Santoro, the “babysitter” in question? Well if it’s good enough for her, well I guess it’s good enough for me, Kate is the torrential bitch the tabs have been saying all along.

Led Zeppelin rumour of the week, courtesy of Ramble On:

John Paul Jones new band, Them Crooked Vultures, premiered last weekend at a post-Lollapalooza show at The Metro in Chicago. The Vultures (TCV in the appropriate newsgroups) feature Jones, Foo Fighters singer/guitarist/ Nirvana Drummer Dave Grohl on Drums and Queens of a Stone Age guitarist singer Josh Homme on, well, guitar and vocals. Reviews are suggesting that TCV are the greatest band since, um, Led Zeppelin.

Them Crooked Vultures are said to be releasing an album on October 23rd titled  “Never Deserved the Future.”

Les Paul (1915 – 2009): Three summers ago the family and I were in New York. After dinner, we decided to stroll to the Borders in Chelsea. For the first time in two days, I didn’t have a 5 pound camera slung over my shoulder. We walked in the store and this little old man was wrapping up a book signing. “Hey, that’s Les Paul,” I said.

“Who?” the family asked.

“You know my guitar at home, the Les Paul guitar?”

“Yea.”

“Les Paul,” I said, waving my hand in his direction.

As I said, he was wrapping up, talking to his rep and, well, he looked 100, so I didn’t want to bother him. But there I am without my camera. The family established a new New York rule after that, never go out without a camera.

Last fall I was back in NYC, and passed a club with 20 or so people lined up outside. “Who’s playing?” I asked.

“Les Paul.”

Ninety-three years old, and still playing. That’s what they call a working musician. But it’s not for his playing that Les Paul will ultimately be remembered – even now he’s barely remembered for that.

Les Paul was an innovator. In the Buddy Holly Story, a studio tech asks Buddy (played by Gary Busey), where he learnt to overdub? “Same place as you,” Holly says. “From Les Paul.” The whole idea of using two or more tape heads to layer sound one upon the other. In the early 50’s, Paul had specially made an 8-track tape recorder. By the late 1960’s, the Beatles where busy making Sergeant Pepper on a four track player, half the player Les Paul innovated out of thin air more than ten years earlier. A remarkable improvement in the way recorded music was produced. But really, who will remember him for a technical innovation, no matter how significant.

Les Paul invented the solid body electric guitar.

As Paul McCartney sang, “Who’s that movin’ cross the stage, it looks a lot like the one used by Jimmy Page.”

There can be no mistaking the visualization: Jimmy Page moved across the stage with a Les Paul Guitar. In rock and roll circles, it is the guitar. A stunning visual and audio instrument, the Les Paul is a perfectly balanced hunk of Mahogany that drove rock and roll from the mid-60’s to the present day. Jimmy Page, Slash, Cream era-Eric Clapton, Early Jeff Beck, Comes Alive era Peter Frampton to name just a few. The Les Paul guitar is the face of rock and roll.

Les Paul passed this week at the age of 94. He is being remembered for his music, especially his work with his wife Mary Ford. He is being remembered for his technical innovations that have altered how music is made. It will be, however, his namesake  guitar for which Les Paul will achieve immortality.

More importantly, Les Paul was a true musician, working to the end and  man who lived a full life worth living. May the same be said of all of us.

Fluffernutter Buddy Holly, Buddy Holly Story, Dave Grohl, Eric Clapton, Foo Fighters, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Jon Gosselin, Josh Homme, Kate Gosselin, Led Zeppelin, Les Paul, Mary Ford, Nirvana, Paul McCartney, Peter Frampton, Queens of a Stone Age, Ramble On, Stephanie Santoro, Them Crooked Vultures

Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

The Black Eyed Pea’s manager,  Liborio Molina,  laid a minor beating on blogger, and complete fuckwad Perez Hilton in Toronto last weekend. Sadly, the beating was only minor.

Oh, I know, I know: violence never solved anything; it’s never the answer. I agree, I accept those arguments. I just can’t help feel that if I was there, I wouldn’t have been able to resist putting a boot to the weasel while he was down.

Jon and Kate Gosselin, of Jon and Kate Plus 8 fame, announced on their show that after ten years, eight kids and little if any dignity, they are separating.

I can’t help but feel when I watch these two these days, that they are two people who had no idea what they were signing on for when they took the TV show, and are caught in the celebrity trap way over their heads.

Ed McMahon (1923-2009)

Known mostly as Johnny Carson’s sidekick, Ed McMahon was a known entertainment entity for over 50 years.  His work includes, outside of the Tonight Show, Star Search, The Jerry Lewis Telethon, TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes and numerous commercials and promotions.

McMahon had been suffering various medical problems the past few years, and past away Tuesday at the age of 86 in the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Michael Jackson (1958-2009).

Michael Jackson’s death comes as both a complete surprise and really not very surprising at the same time. While it was sudden and unexpected, by the same token did any one expect him to live a long life? He always seemed destined to be a tragic character. Once the sudden shock has worn off, his death doesn’t seem shocking in the same way the Heath Ledger or John Lennon’s was.

As for Michael Jackson himself, I have nothing to say that is charitable and will leave it at that.

Farrah Fawcett  (1947-2009)

A far more tragic death of a far more worthy celebrity, Farrah Fawcett was a beautiful woman to the end, and one known for a good deal of smarts as well. Other than a brief period when she seemed to go off the rails a number of years ago, including a sad appearance on Letterman in which she appeared drugged, Fawcett was rarely controversial. Her red bikinied poster is the greatest selling poster of all time, and she will be remembered as a classic beauty for many years.

In her final illness, she displayed courage and class, allowing the cameras in to film a biopic called Farrah’s Story, which documented Fawcett cancer and she  talked about her life.

RIP Farrah Fawcett.

Fluffernutter * little Gosselin's, Black Eyed Peas, divorce, Farrah Fawcett, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Liborio Molino, Marriage, Michael Jackson, Perez Hilton, Prince of Pop, Ryan O'Neil, seperating, wedding, will-i-am

Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

There are levels of fame, each rung on the celebrity ladder being more intense than the last. I submit for your perusal, Jon, Kate and eight. The reality show began it’s fifth season under a cloud of tabloid rumours. Is Jon cheating on Kate? Is Kate really short for Cruella? Child authorities are investigating the family? Celebrity has reached a new pinnacle for the family of ten, and the spotlight much brighter. As unfair as it is, and it is unfair, when you invite the camera into your life, you invite all that goes with it. If you don’t like that, end the show and spend your days counting your residuals.

Renowned 60’s producer Phil Spector has been sentenced to 19 years to life for the 2nd degree murder of “b movie actress” Lana Clarkson. I always like to see the media give Clarkson the “b movie actress” designation as it shows their true colors: it is designed to imply she was somehow less of a person. He, after all, helped create some of the greatest music of the baby boomers generation, she was merely a “b movie actress.”  Glad to see the courts didn’t fall for the ploy and 69 year old Spector, a guy who could teach Michael Jackson a thing or two about being a freakshow, will likely die behind bars.

Imagine coming up with a show idea as bad as Pirate Master, then having someone claim you stole it. This is Survivor Mark Burnett’s reality.  A drivelswigger name of  James Papa says Burnett is a freebooter who hornswaggled his show idea.  He is suing for 2,000,000 dubloons, to be paid at a one for one ratio in American dollars.

Avast!

Hard to believe it was 17 years ago that the whole Leno/Letterman war happened, but it was. History may well record that Leno won the day, but in war it’s not winning the battles that counts, it’s the last man standing that wins. Sorry Jay, at the end of the day Letterman wins by default. Hmmm, wonder if there’s a lesson in there for western civilization?

Farrah Fawcett appears to be in her last days as she loses her fight with cancer. Fawcett is reportedly no longer receiving any treatment and has been saying her goodbyes to friends and family.  Doctors are reportedly saying she has no more than a month to live.  This is one of the stories you wish you could find a happy ending for, but that seems increasingly unlikely and all I can do is wish Fawcett peace in her remaining days. 

Fluffernutter b movie actress, Cancer, David Letterman, Farrah Fawcett, Hornswaggle, James Papa, Jay Leno, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Lana Clarkson, Mark Burnett, Michael Jackson, Phil Spector, Pirate Master, Survivor, Tabloids, Tonight Show