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Saturday Fluffernutter: The TV for Girly Men Edition

June 13th, 2015
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorSo last week I took a little tiny jab at the overwhelming media coverage of Bruce Jenner’s Caitlinization as Saint Caitlin. “I don’t do Kardashian stories,” I wrote. “That goes double this week.” What’s becoming clear is that little, and bad, joke would not pass the editors desk at any commercial media outlet (thank God nobody pays me for this). That, no matter how you splice it, is censorship. pinkfluff

As proof of my point, I bring you TV for men, guys TV. Presumably, politically incorrect TV. Spike TV.

Further, I give you Clint Eastwood, who was introducing “The Rock” at the laughably named 2015 Guys Choice Awards Saturday night in Los Angeles.The awards will air next week on – (snigger, giggle) – guys TV. Eastwood, by way of introduction, began to compare The Rock to other athletes turned actor: “Jim Brown and Caitlyn Somebody…” the old guy who doesn’t get what all the fuss is about said.

OH MY GOD!! Razor blades flew. Film chopped into unrecognizability. The comment has been cut. Chopped. Edited out.

The clavern of simpering idiots®, i.e. Spike TV executives and Guys Choice Awards organizers, having less stones than Caitlin Jenner, have chosen to cut the comment from the broadcast.

Because dissent will not be tolerated, and censorship will be enforced.

fluffincolorSo your on your Tinder app checking out some ladies: swipe. Swipe. Swipe… Then Hi­lary Duff’s profile pops up… Swipeswipeswipeswipeswipe.

The cute as a button child-actress, now single soccer-mom, admitted in March she had a Tinder account. But, she now says, she gave it up after a few days suggesting it didn’t work out to well: “I certainly don’t think I will find the man of my dreams on it,” she now says.

No, to do that, you need to find a guy who can type the word “swipe” five times quickly.

fluffincolorI once was researching a 1969 Led Zeppelin concert that took place in Kitchener, Ontario. I was at the local university going through old copies of the student newspaper, and found a picture. Looking at it, the librarian said to me, “I think we have film of that concert.” My jaw dropped. This would be previously unknown movie of a concert of which there is no known visual or audio documentation. It would be a stunning find. She took my phone number promising to see if she could find it, and that was the last I heard of it. Presumably the librarian was mistaken and the film doesn’t exist (a likely scenario). But still…

Now imagine how many multiples of that feeling when a librarian at the University of New Brunswick, hired to digitize the library’s Science Fiction collection, found an early “fourth draft” of the Star Wars script. Unlibrarian-like language of the kind that would make a Spike TV executive blush was sure to be uttered.

fluffincolor It seems as though some Hollywood elite is starting to get that the current climate of speech rules has negative consequences for their business. This week Jerry Seinfeld, a giant in the comedy business, explained how the traditional campus circuit is no longer a gig comedians enjoy:

I hear a lot of people tell me, ‘don’t go near colleges. They’re so PC.’

Jon Gabriel then wrote a piece about the “Progressive Comedy Pause,” that gap between the punchline and the laugh while the listener processes the joke to decide it’s not offensive, before he laughs at it.

Interestingly, Salon then wrote a humourless piece on white guys like Seinfeld getting to decide what is or isn’t offensive, and cited a list of comedians who not so much manage to be offensive, as much as they manage to amuse Salon without offending. “Tell safe jokes and you have nothing to worry about,” Salon seemed to be saying.

Which, these easily offended folks never seem to get, is the point.

fluffincolor It’s hard to imagine that Fagan should outlive the Artful Dodger, but in terms of Lionel Bart’s movie version of Oliver! that’s what happened. The Dodger, aka HR Puffinstuff’s Jack Wild, died 9-years ago in 2006. Ron Moody, who played Fagan, passed Thursday, aged 91.

Moody was a veteran British TV and stage actor, Fagan being just his most memorable role. It is rumored, in fact, that he turned down the role of Dr. Who. For that we here at Fluffernutter world headquarters have nothing but respect. It’s one thing to pick a pocket or two, but dignity must be left intact.

Rest in Peace Ron Moody, 1924-2015.

fluffincolorYes, yes, we get it. Someone from The Lord of the Rings died this week. A seven decade movie career and late in life multi-language, multi album gig as a Heavy Metal singer and all anyone can do is post pictures of Christopher Lee in full Saruman getup.

The man WAS A BOND VILLIAN. Sheesh, some people need to get a grip.

Here’s what you need to know: he was Scaramonga, the man with the Golden Gun in the 1974 movie of the same title. He had a duel, a duel! on the beach with James Bond. Pistols on an unsteady surface, and no need for a big white beard.

Two-hundred and seventy-eight IMDB credits, and all people remember is Lord of the Rings. what’s wrong with people?

Rest in Peace Christopher Lee, 1922 – 2015, The Man With The Golden Gun.


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