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Saturday Fluffernutter:

September 18th, 2010
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorParis, Brittany, Lindsay and … George? He’s prettier and a better singer than Paris, Brittany and Lindsay. Now George Michael joins the first two in the going to jail for driving while stupid category.
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The former Wham! singer was sentenced to eight weeks in prison after pleading guilty to possession of cannabis and driving under the influence of drugs. He was also fined $1,725.

What’s the betting line on Michael not getting out for good behaviour?

fluffincolorAs if karaoke night run through a pitch adjuster isn’t enough, as if the idea that paying your dues means listening to one judges mean-ish commentary for ten weeks, isn’t enough, there is now one more reason not to watch American Idol: Jennifer Lopez will be judging this years show.

To anyone who has taken the debate with me through the years that American Idol is about finding talented people and not about dispensing celebrity on those not talented enough to otherwise earn it: Jennifer Lopez is judging American Idol.

fluffincolorFormer Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant stepped in it this week, but came out unharmed.

While on the Today show, he referred to his pre-Zeppelin Band of Joy as playing blues and “spook music.” Spook is, of course, a derogatory term for African-Americans.

Such a comment, uttered on network television in the middle of the day will result in one of two things happening, regardless of the original intent of the comment. Either a large scale media kerfuffle, resulting in career suicide or nothing at all. The latter, which is what happens, is an indication of cultural obsolescence.

Not good news either if you’re the producers of The Today show, and nobody noticed a reference to spook music during your show.


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Saturday Fluffernutter: The American Idol Edition; Ritchie Hayward (1946 – 2010)

August 14th, 2010
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorSo you’re a dad. You’re daughter is mid-to-late 20’s. She is dating, and has become pregnant by a rich celebrity 26 years her senior, who has four kids by three other women, fluffernutterand recently left his wife and two of those young children due to irreconcilable differences (i.e. she aged). What are the chances your reaction is:

It’s great news and we’re very pleased for them both.

On the other hand, perhaps the next statement explains the previous words of Alan Walsh, father of Kelsey Grammer’s 29 year old squeeze Kayte Walsh:

I don’t know how long they have been together and I have not met him yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

fluffincolorAmerican Idol is looking for judges. First up is Jennifer Lopez. Lopez, who is talentless as a singer and actor, has been bumped from consideration because of her excessive demands.

How excessive can your demands have to be? I want a dressing room, nanny, masseuse, water, flowers &tc. All would be no sweat. What else could a person making millions a year ask from her employers?

Ohhh, perhaps she wanted to sing. Yea, good call American Idol.

fluffincolorReview in Brief: Eat, Pray, Love – I haven’t even seen it, but the preview made me nauseous on three separate occasions.

fluffincolorSince Jenifer Lopez is out of the running for American Idol judge, a plan B is needed. How about… Shania Twain.

Canadian born Twain has several advantages over the aforementioned Lopez: She can sing; she’s smoking’ hot; she lives in a castle in Switzerland, so her tastes and demands can’t be too over the top. I say, sign her up.

It’s not enough to make me watch, but it’s enough to make me put a picture of Twain up once a month or so during Idol season.shania-twain-pic

fluffincolorAmerican Idol singer Fantasia Barrino had a week to forget. First, she was named as the other woman in a divorce proceeding in North Carolina. The wife of Antwuan Cook alleges the singer had an affair with her husband, which is denied.

The next day, Barrino was hospitalized for a “medication overdose.” She was admitted to a North Carolina hospital and her condition is not considered life threatening.

Paula Cook, on the other hand, is said to be life threatening, if she dare goes near her man again.


fluffincolorRitchie Hayward (1946 – 2010):
Ritchie Hayward was the long time drummer for Little Feat, one of the most under-rated bands of the rock era. He was there in the beginning in 1969, and stayed with the band until founder Lowell George’s death in 1979.

In 1987, Little Feat reformed, and their 1988 album Let it Roll is probably the best album of the 1980’s (seriously, if you don’t know it but feel sure you’ve missed something: give Let it Roll a listen). Hayward continued with Little Feat until his cancer diagnosis last August.

Other than Little Feat, Hayward has played with Jimmy Buffet’s Corral Reefer Band, was the drummer of record on Robert Plant’s Shaken and Stirred album, had spots with Bob Seger, Eric Clapton, The Doobie Brothers, Peter Frampton, Arlo Guthrie, Robert Palmer, Tom Waitts, Warren Zevon and some guy named Dylan, just to name the people you’ve heard of.

To watch Hayward drum was to watch a man having a seizure in 4/4 time. His arms and legs splayed about in much the way you would imagine a monkey would look if he tried to drum, except with Hayward, it made sense. He was never repetitious, and in fact, a drummer friend once commented when listening to them, “there’s no pattern there to try and follow.”

In short, Ritchie Hayward was an exceptional drummer, and if the general population of music fans was unaware of the fact, music insiders knew it all too well.

Ritchie Hayward died this week from complications of liver cancer. If there’s a rock and roll heaven – I want Ritchie Hayward in my band.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: No Osc for Jay Lo; “Tipsy” Mariah Carey; Tiger – the prison picture; The sad death of Casey Johnson (1979-2010)

January 9th, 2010
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorJennifer Lopez is reported to be “upset with the academy” because she was not given an oscar nod for 2006’s El Cantante. Lopez starred in the movie alongside her husband Marc Anthony about the life of Puerto Rican salsa singer Hector Lavoe. fluffernutterAccording to the New York Daily News, Lopez is frustrated that the members of the academy never saw El Cantante, therefore couldn’t properly judge her superiority.

No fear, Lopez fans. Lopez herself says “I have the utmost faith and no doubt that it will [happen] one day.”

As if they’re giving an Oscar to Jennifer Lopez before Madonna gets one.

fluffincolorIn other Diva news, Mariah Carey gave a seven minute acceptance speech after winning some award or another at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. Some called it rambling; some suggested she was jet lagged; some have said she was “tipsy on champagne.”  However, I know too much party, not enough brains when I see it, and this girl has had too much party:

fluffincolorSo your Tiger Woods. Your nice guy image is in tatters, your reputation need rebuilding. Your wife is leaving, and taking with her the kids and $300M. Pat Burns is on Montreal radio telling the world your gorgeous Swedish wife took a nine iron to your face before you got in the Cadillac, which she then took the nine iron to the windows of. What do you need to revive your image? How about a magazine cover with you looking like it was taken in the prison yard:

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The world is upside down when I feel sorry for Tiger Woods.

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The death of Johnson and Johnson heiress Casey Johnson may be one of the saddest spectacles you’ll ever witness. The 30 year old was found dead in her home and the death was announced by her “fiance”, reality star Tila Tequila. Tequila has been in a piddling match with blogger Perez Hilton and, in the illiterate twitterings of access hollywoods Billy Bush:

Gross… claims 2 b mourning fiancée but seems 2 b pumping her new gossip blog.   (How come he can’t spell “to be” but can get the accented é in fiancée?)

Now Johnson’s longtime girlfriend Courtenay Semel, daughter of Terry Semel, the former chairman of both Yahoo! Inc. and Warner Bros., has lashed out at Teguila:

The thing I find the most sickening is that the media is giving [her] the one thing she craves: attention. Tila, you knew her for a week.

I understand her sentiment but, frankly,  this whole thing is pretty sickening. If you take no other lesson from At Home in Hespeler kids, take this: if you seek fame regardless of price, don’t be surprised when the bill comes due and the cost is your dignity – in life and in death.

The above aside, this the sad death of a 30 year old woman. Her life was uneasy, with drugs, debt, estrangement from her family, a recent burglary charge. A woman who appeared to never got comfortable with life. Her family is apparently devastated, her father, Jets owner Woody Johnson, lost a brother to drug abuse in 1975, has now lost a daughter. It’s a sad story, and condolences to the people who loved Casey Johnson.

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