Posts Tagged ‘Hespeler’

At Home in Hespelerwood

June 10th, 2015
Comments Off on At Home in Hespelerwood

Look what they’ve done to my town…




Hespeler, our little village on the river (really a town, but our Mayor is not really a Mayor either – that’s just how it rolls here) has been converted into Lisbon Falls Maine, in October 1960, for the shooting of Stephen Kings 11/22/63.

Vote Kennedy

Vote Kennedy

No wait... Vote Nixon

No wait... Vote Nixon



The movie stars sworn enemy of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, James Franco, and yes ladies, he has been spotted in town – as has Stephen King.

Shooting occurred on Monday, with Tuesday scheduled and Wednesday as the rain day. However, weather forecasts for the week forced them to move their second shooting day to Thursday, Then they rebuild the village. It is actually, a massive undertaking, and it’s been fun and impressive for everyone to watch.








for certified professional guitar repair in Cambridge Ontario: Brian Gardiner Guitar Repair

Uncategorized , , ,

Fluffernutter Friday: Werewolves of Hespeler

April 19th, 2013
Comments Off on Fluffernutter Friday: Werewolves of Hespeler

Look what they’ve done to my town…

Lovely downtown Hespeler has been turned into Bear Valley NY while the TV crews shoot werewolve drama, Bitten.



So, who stars in this Bitten? Let’s just say, it’s not every week that Supergirl Laura Vandervoot is using the men of your town as her prey.


To quote the late great Warren Zevon, Aooooo.

Cool For Cats , , , , ,

Grounding in Hespeler Toy Raid Expected

March 2nd, 2012
Comments Off on Grounding in Hespeler Toy Raid Expected

Six years ago wrote this post in response to some dumb law some dumb politician was on about. Making it harder to buy toy guns, or some such stupidity, as I recall.

This weeks stupidity by the Waterloo Region District School Board, Family and Children’s Services of the Waterloo Region and Waterloo Regional Police (especially the police), gave me a mind to repost it. It seems somehow appropriate.



Hespeler – Authorities today discovered a cache of illegal toys in the room of a local 8 year old boy. Among the toys discovered where a Chinese manufactured pump action water blaster 1000, a spider man web blaster and a Chinese made cap gun that authorities fear may have been purchased over the counter a dollar store. “The Water Blaster alone can deliver 1/2 a liter of water non-stop” said an adult at the scene “There were handcuffs too, and not the cheap plastic ones either, metal ones.” Authorities also discovered a lone ranger mask, a tire iron for bicycles, 3 hockey pucks “of the kind that is sometimes used in ‘chuck-a-puck’ competitions”, and an H2O Ammo water clip. Not shown in the picture was a Hurl, once used in an assault on a sister and a pointy stick, causing local mothers to fear that someone could lose an eye.

The 8 year old will be sent to his room to wait ’til his father gets home. Further grounding is expected, with crown prosecutors wanting two weeks without TV, while child care experts say time served waiting for Dad is sufficient punishment.

seized weapons are being tested to see if they are related to any unsolved soakings or frightenings of twitchy neighbours with loud ‘bangy’ noises.

Here is a complete inventory of the confiscated booty:

perpElastic Gun
Chinese manufactured Shield Blaster 1000 water soaker.
Chinese manufactured Pump Action Water Gun
H2O AMMO Water Clip
Hot Wheels Jet Launcher, with Jet
Spider man Web Blaster with holder
Finger pointed in the classic gun position
Bicycle Tire Iron
3 “Chuck-a-Puck” style Hockey Pucks
Plastic Bullets
Plastic Holster
2 Used Elastic Bands
Irish Manufactured Hurl
24? Pointy Stick

Also found were:

Wild Planet Spy Listener with attached ear phone
Infra-pink Spy glasses/ Walkie Talkie
Lone Ranger style mask
Handcuffs and Coin Rollers and a couple of dollars in coins.

I think that covers how I feel about this.

crime and justice, Jacobian Piece of Impertinence, pimply minions of bureaucracy , , , ,

The Duke of Hespeler

May 2nd, 2011
Comments Off on The Duke of Hespeler

From the Cambridge Citizen

The meeting of the Hespeler Town Council was called to order. The mayor (unofficial, unelected) took the chair.

“You all saw it,” the mayor said, thumping the table, spilling Jim Hillis’ double-double. “My wife got me up at 4 o’clock, so I know damn well I saw it.” The mayor was clearly angry and frustrated and was warming to his theme. “A royal wedding is supposed to be a happy thing, a joyous occasion. I wanted to declare it a holiday for all of Hespeler. What the point is of being mayor if I can’t declare a holiday, I’ll never know.” The mayor, in his white suit and white top hat, looked like a man who should be capable of declaring a holiday.

“I got up at 4:00 AM to watch our future King and his consort be married, and what’s the first thing I hear: The Queen will make Prince William and Kate Middleton The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge after the wedding. Bloody Cambridge,” he swore. “We all know what that means,” he pointed around the table. The assembled mass nodded, knowing what was next, what was always next. “Might as well call them Duck and Duchess of Preston and Galt for all we’ll see of them here in Hespeler. ‘Oh no,’ they’ll say when the couple come to visit, ‘you can’t go over there. The roads are too small, the downtown too dangerous.’”

The meeting threatened to descend into havoc for the volume of the agreement. “The Prince of Breslaw he’ll be calling himself next,” was heard above the din. The mayor banged his gavel, which was really the butt of a broken Hespeler hockey stick, to restore order.

“What’s needed,” continued the mayor as if he was never interrupted, “is a Duke of Hespeler.” The volume of agreement was almost as loud as the volume of disdain had been moments earlier. This time the mayor, a practiced orator who knew when to quiet a crowd and when to speak over one, yelled above the council.

“Which part of town, after all, has a bar called the Duke and Duchess?” This was a masterstroke, which almost brought the assembled meeting to fever pitch. If not for the mayor’s practiced audience control, the meeting would have been over, with a round of drinks at the Duke and Duchess on the taxpayers of Ayr an almost certain ending, if only Hespeler town council (unofficial and unelected) had any taxing powers, in Ayr or otherwise.

“Who should it be,” asked a councillor (unofficial, unelected), who was well coached by the mayor and hoping for a seat on the Hespeler Senate, if and when they could ever establish a Senate in Hespeler.

“Kirk Maltby,” yelled someone in a Detroit Red Wings shirt.

“Tim Brent,” yelled another, dressed in Maple Leaf blue.

“Kirk Maltby has 4 Stanley Cups,” said the first. “What has Tim Brent done?”

“Anybody can win Stanley Cups playing for Detroit,” said the second. “Tim Brent scored 8 goals for the Maple Leafs. You know how many guys play for the Leafs and never score 8 goals?”

“That guy who rights that Home in Hespeler blog,” said another.

“Too political,” answered one. “Too conservative,” said a third. “Too ugly,” said another, finally creating unanimity.

“It occurs to me,” said the Mayor, “that it doesn’t have to be someone local. It may even be too our advantage to have an outsider. What about Prince Harry?”

“Your brilliant Mayor,” the councillor/Senator-in-wanting up-kissed.

“Perhaps he’ll bring that Pippa with him,” said another.

And so it was that when Jim Hillis returned with his coffee, he was told he had been volunteered to approach “that blogger fellow,” who would be asked to write to Prince Harry informing him he had been chosen Duke of Hespeler.

The meeting, then being adjourned, retired to The Duke and Duchess to discuss the inequity of not being able to impose a tax in Ayr.


Gettin’ the Party Started

November 17th, 2009
Comments Off on Gettin’ the Party Started

Heady days here in Hespeler as our circa 1950’s liquor store is replaced by a new,12,000 square foot behomoth, that has room for a vintages section and, get this, more than 4 feet of cold display for the beer. bah_humbugOur old store was serviceable but the former drive-through store, that was one of those “fill out the form and somebody will get your Canadian Club for you,” set-ups until sometime in the 70’s, had outlived it’s usefulness. It never really could handle the Hespeler appetite, and now we have the 6th biggest LCBO outlet in Ontario. Heady days indeed.

Not to be outdone, the ROC (rest of Cambridge) threw their Santa Claus parade on the south side of the 401, and had a parade driver arrested for impaired driving– I am reliably informed it was, in fact, Santa’s driver. He will plead fog I am guessing.

Maybe they can’t handle their drink in the ROC, but here in Hespeler Daddy Dalton has deemed us all growed up and sent us flying into the 1990’s. We are, as you can imagine, chuffed.

Blogging will be light the rest of the evening, as I have some  Wychwood Brewery Bah Humbug Christmas Ale to get through.

Cambridge , , , , , , ,

ShutterBugging Picture of the Day: The Hespeler Heron

June 22nd, 2009