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Saturday Fluffernutter: The If This Isn’t Nuts, What Is? Edition

June 21st, 2014
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorNow where was I? Ah yes, just before the unexpected Fluffernutter hiatus, Justin Beiber had a spot of bother. Something about eggs and a neighbours expensive panel work as I recall. fluffernutterNow I know some of you thought I must have been too tired, busy or lazy to write the Fluffernutters, but really, I couldn’t possibly write any more while this story was unresolved. As proof, I offer that Fuffernutter is suddenly, unannoucedly back, and TMZ Monday reported “D.A. to File Vandalism Charges Today in Egging Case.”

This all leads to the one inescapable question: whats worse, a 20-year old who eggs his neighbours house? A D.A.’s office that investigates an egging, never mind taking six months to do so? A prosecutor who says “If this isn’t a felony, nothing is,” about throwing eggs? Or a media that uses the phrase “egging case” without irony?

To paraphrase “a prosecutor in the case,” if this isn’t nuts, what is?

fluffincolorMeanwhile, A-1 cutey Selena Gomez, aka the former Beib-friend/current Beib-friend/former Beib-friend is, once again, on Beiber’s arm. This has friends and family worried that Beiber is a bad influence on the nice girl Gomez.

On cue, in the fashion of young ladies from time immemorial, Gomez set out to prove them right. On Tuesday night police were called to Gomez’ house after neighbours complained of a loud party. Because neighbourhood relations are something you go to Justin Beiber for advice on.

fluffincolorI hate talking Miley Cyrus. From cute little girl singer to hopelessly crass skank in one short step, it’s just so disappointing. This week in Spain she put in a concert in which she wore a one piece money suit, and yanked it up in wedgie fashion, showing far more than any sane human wants to see. Oh yea, and she was sticking her tongue out in that german shepherd with it’s head to the window way she seems to think is sexy.

Funny thing about the last three stories. Notice Selena Gomez is the nice girl here. Notice too, the story is her friends and family are worried about her. Now consider that Justin Beiber’s dad was one of the posse when Beiber was busted for racing on the Florida streets a few months back and Miley Cyrus’ dad, Billy Ray, has previously declared himself proud of her skank-shenanigans. A family around who’s worrying about your welfare, instead of enabling your stupidity is such a difference in a young stars life. Here’s a prediction: Gomez will be fine, but I’ll be writing about Cyrus and Beiber until I get sick of them and put them on the Paris Hilton/Kardashian list of people who, short of murder, I just won’t write about.

fluffincolorHarrison Ford is said to be “on the road to recovery,” after having an accident on the set of Star Wars VII: The Infinite Sequel. The 71-year old Ford, who is reprising his role as smuggler Hans Solo, broke his leg when his ship, The Millennium Falcon, fell on him. While initially reported to have broken his ankle, Ford had surgery on his broken leg, and will begin rehab shortly.

To get this straight, Han Solo is now 71 and the Millennium Falcon is falling out of the sky. I’m thinking maybe I’ll take a pass on lining up dressed as a Wookie for opening night of this one.

fluffincolorActor Michael Jace appeared in court this week in the April shooting death of his wife. On May 19th Jace was charged with murder and is being held on $2-million bail in LA. Jace called 911 at the time of his wife’s shooting saying he had killed his wife.

Appearing today, the month in prison has not been good to Jace. The 52-year old star of The Shield (and black panther in Forrest Gump) looks like a 70-year old man. He has aged dramatically in the month since he first appeared.

Jace faces a 50-year sentence if convicted, but don’t look for him survive anywhere near that long.


fluffincolorCasey Kasem (1932-2014)

Up until a couple of years ago, “who is the voice of Shaggy in Scooby Doo?” made a great trivia question at a party. Nowadays, however, everybody seem to know that DJ Casey Kasem voiced the Great Dane’s hippy pal.

Kasem was known primarily as the host of America’s Top 40, a radio show that ran from 1970 to 2009, although it is primarily remembered nostalgically for it’s heyday on the 70’s and into the 80’s.

In his final years he suffered with Parkinson’s Disease, which ultimately took his life, and were marred by fighting over his treatment between his wife of 34-years and his children from a previous marriage. The disagreements sadly prevented Kasem form having some dignity in death, something he always projected in life. None the less, he will be remembered for his silky smooth voice and wonderful way of introducing songs through stories. May he rest in peace.

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