At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

James Bond and the Tied Knot:

Daniel Craig and his gal pal Rachel Weisz got married last weekend in New York. The quiet ceremony was attended by one attendant each, and the couples two children from previous relationships.

No word on whether the least likeable Bond rolled the wedding car on route to the honeymoon.

Big winner of 2011, Charlie Sheen will start the fall TV season… dead.

His character on the hit “sitcom” Two and a Half Men, Charlie Harper, will be killed off in the season opener. According to TMZ.com, the show will begin with dark screen for “just a minute or two,” as characters Alan and Jake find out he is dead.

Winning…

Mr. Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon said this week that he and the boss are done having kids.

I (Cannon) do (want more children), Mariah doesn’t. She was like, “That’s it, I’m done! Two at once!

Translation, it turns out having kids was not all about Mariah, and it won’t happen again.

When Nasa sent a spacecraft into the far reaches of space full of artefacts from earth in order to communicate with any aliens who may intercept the craft, among the artefacts where Chuck Berry records. According to Father Guido Sarducci, the craft returned with a note inside: “Send more Chuck Berry.”

The city of St. Louis understands the sentiment, and this week voted to erect an 8-foot statue of the rock and roll legend. The statue will be built on a new public bikeway near Blueberry Hill, the club where Berry has played a regular gig over the past 15 years.

The statue has it’s detractors, notably 86-year old Elsie Glickbert, who notes that 84-year old Berry is a convicted felon. Berry was convicted in 1962 of “transporting a woman across state lines for immoral purposes.”

Hard to understand why, 15 years after Bill Clinton, people aren’t more concerned about those 60’s era “immoral purposes” convictions.

Time to shave, trim the unwanted hairlettes and suck in the gut: Téa Leoni is back on the market. Leoni and her husband of 14 years, Californication’s David Duchovny, have separated for the second time in three years.

The couple separated for a year in 2008 after Duchovny “underwent treatment for sex issues,” i.e. was found to be a serial philanderer. They reunited a year later

No word on what caused this years split, but one can’t help but wildly speculate that the words “pecker,” and “pants” where used during the decisive argument.

Free at last, free at last… Lindsay Lohan is free at last.

Lindsay Lohan, felonious actress, was released from home detention after serving 35 days in house arrest for stealing a $2,500 necklace.

Her monitoring equipment was removed Wednesday morning, freeing Lohan from her days spent painting. No word on what she did after being released, we just hope it had nothing to do with either her probationary restriction against drugs and alcohol or David Duchovny.

Fluffernutter Californication, Charlie Sheen, Chuck Berry, Daniel Craig, David Duchovny, James Bond, Lindsay Lohan, Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon, Rachel Weisz, St. Louis, Téa Leoni, Two and a Half Men

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

In season three of Californication Rick Springfield had a brilliant part, playing… Rick Springfield. The fictoional Rick Springfield was a hard partying, cocaine snorting, hard drinking, over sexed celebrity, living hard off his former glory.

Rick Springfield the real guy was pulled over this week, and after smelling alcohol, had to submit to a field sobriety test, which he failed.

Talk about taking your work home with you.

Lindsay Lohan can’t catch a break. After expressing an interest in playing Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks in a biopic, Nicks has nixed the idea, at least until Lohan pass a field sobriety test. said Nicks:

I was completely messed up for a long time and I got it together… If she could get it together, she could have a really big career and she could do great things.

Fall Out Boy’s (they’re a band) Patrick Stump has spoken up about the reaction to the killing of Osama bin Laden:

The thing that’s hard for me as an American is that… obviously it’s a symbolic victory for the War on Terror but at the end of the day I don’t think it’s cool to celebrate any one’s death. I just don’t believe in that.

I’m guessing they should just change the name of the band now to Fall Out, Boy!

Other celebrity reactions to bin Ladens death:

• “I guess I won’t be invited to any more bin Laden weddings.” – Elton John
• “The death of Osama bin Laden is a prediction of the Global Warming models.” – Al Gore
• “Why didn’t they call the Vatican Ninja Assassins if they had a job to do.” – Charlie Sheen
• “I want to play him in the movie.” – Lindsay Lohan

Ricardo Chavira, who plays Carlos on Desperate Housewives, was arrested Tuesday Night for “suspicion of driving under the influence.”

Chavira was being held on $25,000 bail after, “failing a field sobriety test.”

Fluffernutter Californication, Fall Out Boy, Fleetwood Mac, Lindsay Lohan, Osama Bin Laden, Patrick Stump, Ricardo Chavira, Rick Springfield, Stevie Nicks