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The Freedom of Music: Levon Helm

May 20th, 2012
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freedom-of-music-header

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.
Rush – Spirit of Radio.

The Band was, undeniably, one of the great acts of the rock era. A Canadian band with a lone member from Arkansas, they played Toronto’s haunts for years backing up Ronnie Hawkins as The Hawks. Hawkin’s was a taskmaster and a perfectionist. After performing all night, virtually every night, Hawkins would rehearse his band for hours afterwards into the small hours of the morning. sidebar-2

The practice time paid off, and The Hawks became masters of their craft. So much so that when Bob Dylan decided to change rock’n’roll irretrievably by mixing folk and electric blues, he chose the Hawks to be his back up band. The Arkansas boy however, had had enough of the life and, disappointed by the initial response to Bob Dylan’s decision to “go electric,” quit music and went home. Levon Helm left his bandmates to suffer the indignity of being booed and jeered every night, just because Bob Dylan decided to expand his musical horizons.

In 1967, living in Woodstock with Bob Dylan, Rick Danko contacted Helm asking him to rejoin the band. He did and became one of the staple voices of rock music. Music From the Big Pink, released a year later, became one of the most popular and influential albums of the 1960’s, cited by George Harrison as a great album, and Eric Clapton as the reason he left Cream for more rootsy styled music. Helm, for the record, never really left Woodstock again, his popular Midnight Ramble’s, ongoing until his death, took place in his barn/studio at his home in Woodstock.

A few weeks ago, an announcement appeared on Helm’s webpage, signed his wife and daughter. Helm was, it said, “in the final stages of his battle with cancer.” Usually such notices mean you have days to live. In Helm’s case, it was 2 days, as he succumbed to cancer on April 20th. He was 72.

As the post-mortem tributes came in, none summed Helm up better than Bruce Springsteen, who told a New Jersey audience about a week after Helm’s death:

Both his voice and his drumming were so incredibly personal. He had a feel on the drums that just comes out of a certain place that you can’t replicate.

When Springsteen refers to Helm’s voice as personal, he doesn’t just mean unique, although it was certainly that. Whether he was stretching his voice as in Ophelia, reciting a history lesson as he did in The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down or mock yodeling in Up On Cripple Creek, It felt as though Helm was singing directly to you. His voice had so much soul, every note dripping with that intangible something that made him one of the very special singers.


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Ignatieff Serves Somebody

March 29th, 2011
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Michael Ignatieff “channels Bob Dylan,” according to the Globe and Mail’s Jane Taber. He has used it in his speeches, and sent it in an email to supporters:

It’s like Bob Dylan sang: “You’ve gotta serve somebody.” Let’s show Stephen Harper what that means

Bob Dylan’s Serve Somebody, from 1979’s Slow Train Coming is a great song. It won Dylan a Grammy and brought him back onto the charts after years of being off them. But what does it mean?

You’re gonna have to serve somebody.
You’re gonna have to serve somebody.
It may be the devil or it may be the Lord,
but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.

You Got to Serve Somebody is not a song about public service, not a song about Maritime daycare for single moms who want to be heavy equipment operators. It is a song about service to God. Michael Ignatieff would be just as well to quote Onward Christian Soldiers. And of course, if Stephen Harper sat at the piano and started singing it, Jane Taber would know that.
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The fall of 1978 was a low point for Bob Dylan. His career was sliding: record sales were down and reviews for both his records and his live performances were terrible. Even the Village Voice, which is a sort of home town paper to Dylan, had a recent edition which printed four negative reviews.

The current tour was also taking a physical toll. Dylan played a gig in Montreal in October with a temperature of 105. On November 17th, Dylan was playing in San Diego. He still did not feel well, and it showed:

Towards the end of the show someone out in the crowd… knew I wasn’t feeling well. I think they could see that. And they threw a silver cross on the stage.

Dylan, uncharacteristically, picked up the cross off the stage and put it in his pocket. Travelling to Tucson, Dylan was feeling worse. Nothing he tried was working, and he felt he needed something different.

I looked in my pocket, and there was this cross…

…and he had a vision of Jesus, and became that scariest of modern day creatures, a born again Christian.

Michael Ignatieff is being a clever, average hippy quoting Bob Dylan. He could have quoted Einstein (The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule); or Tolstoy (The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity); or John Adams (If we do not lay out ourselves in the service of mankind whom should we serve). He chose Dylan for a reason, to appeal to the baby-boomers. Let Stephen Harper sing the Beatles, he’ll out groovy him and quote Bob Dylan like a second rate literature professor.

Unfortunately for Ignatieff, unlike Tolstoy or Einstein, he doesn’t understand the context of the Dylan lyric. Being a square, not an average, groovy kind of guy, Ignatieff didn’t really now what he was saying.


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?Saturday Fluffernutter: The End is Nigh Edition

January 1st, 2011
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Ashton Kutcher has told Men’s Health that he keeps himself in tip top shape to “prepare for end days.” Kutcher apparently believes, rather ardently, that a technological Armageddon is coming, and if you don’t practice Krav Maga and yoga (the latter in blazing hot temperatures), you will not survive the apocalypse.

In honor of the New Year, we here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters, situated in a bus buried under 10 feet of solid clay somewhere south and west of Guelph, offer this years best fluffernutters or, as we prefer to call them, signs of the Apolalypse:

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorFrom the “perhaps we can just forgo the whole horseman drama and go straight to separating the sinners and the faithful,” department:

If Mariah Carey is pregnant is a sign of the apocalypse, what is Mariah Carey is expecting twins a sign of?pinkfluff Surely not just that the IQ of the Carey/Cannon household will soon approach triple digits?
And hey, who’s that guy with the beard and sandals?

fluffincolorJustin Beiber: Minute 16.
A couple of weeks ago Justin Beiber lashed out at a fan looking for an autograph. Famous for about a year, Beiber is already tired of all these kids, children really, throwing their money at him. If only they would go away, he could enjoy his fame in peace.

Last weekend Beiber was accused of assaulting a 12 year old boy at Planet Lazer in Vancouver. While playing he hit/ran over the lad, who complained to management, and then police.

The boy says he hit him, Beiber says it was an accident. I say Justin Beiber’s fifteen minutes are up.

fluffincolorMadonna is rumoured to have dumped her 24 year old Latin lover, Jesus Luz for Brazillian dancer Brahim Rachiki.
For the record, Madonna lists herself as a “children’s author” amongst other things on her CV. Here’s a tip: if you are buying your children books by Madonna, you’re a bad parent!

If you are using Madonna as a role model for your kids, pre-teen, teen, young adults, you are a bad parent.

Want to know why society is a mess? Popular TV show Glee! Had a Madonna episode, where they raved about what a wonderful role model she was for young women. Any society, anywhere, who thinks filthy, skanky, slutty Madonna can possibly be a role model, is a mess. Full stop.

fluffincolorKim Cattrall is one of life’s lucky ones. A good career, success, money. So how does she feel about it?

Recently I was enjoying a quiet lunch in Liverpoo… this guy approaches… He says, “C’mon, stand up – I want a photo with you.” My response was, “I won’t do it. I’m not working right now…”

Quick reminder for Cattrall: this guy you so sneeringly dismiss, he’s the reason you can afford to lunch at Liverpoo.

fluffincolorBoy George was exiled from guy-ville this week, although authorities prefer it be called released from prison.  He served 27 days of an eight week sentence and got early release after the other prisoners complained they needed the rest.

fluffincolorDear Lindsay:

The rules are simple. Here’s how it works. You do your treatment program, you pass two drug tests a week, you stay out of jail.

Two drug tests a week Lindsay Lohan is mandated to take. Two. You know they’re coming. So how does she do? She fails both of them. On two separate, mandatory samples she tests positive for two separate drugs: cocaine on one test, amphetamine on the second. Two tests, two fails, two different drugs.

It’s hard to muster much sympathy for the bail revoked/4 weeks in jail she got for her transgression.

fluffincolorSigh! Another week, another sex scandal on Sesame Street… wait… what did I just write?

fluff_2_2008Singer, fashionista and all round ingénue Katy Perry was to appear on Sesame Street this week, performing a song with Elmo (who’s nose feels so good &tc.). Perry, famous for the song I Kissed a Girl was set to perform her single Hot and Cold on the pre-school MTV. The producers of Sesame Street released the clip on YouTube and then pulled it from the show “based on feedback.”

This blog has never, ever been an advocate for the sexualizing of children, and abhors the practice. But frankly, other than some really bad lip synching, there’s nothing wrong with the segment. An argument can be made that Perry is not the kind of role model we want for pre-schoolers (an argument can be made she’s not the type of role model we want for pre-teens, her target audience, but I digress), but this particular clip is tame.

fluffincolorBrad Pitt is a good leftie. He doesn’t believe in the death penalty for, say, someone who kidnaps a child and spends three days molesting them before killing them. Paul Bernardo, as an example, should be spared the death penalty.

But run a company that has an environmental accident?

I was never for the death penalty before, but I am willing to look at it again (for BP executives)

I love the headline in this weeks In Touch. Angelina Jolie, it claims, calls Brad stupid behind his back.
Talk about belabouring the obvious.

fluffincolorMr. Zeta Jones, Actor Michael Douglas, announced this week he was diagnosed with throat cancer. Mr. Jones will undergo chemotherapy and is “very optimistic,” of a full recovery.

Back in June his son Cameron, from a previous marriage, was sentenced to five years in prison for dealing methamphetamine and possessing heroin. Which just goes to show, even Kirk Douglas’s son, who’s married to Catherine Zeta Jones can have a shitty go of things.

You can, in fact, have it all and legitimately wonder, “why me?”

fluffincolorI saw the Jennifer Aniston ugly duckling photo shoot last week: the one where she makes herself up to look just like Barbara Streisand. A fine example of how to turn beauty butt ugly in one make-up session.

Want to know what my reaction was: “glad I never laminated that list.”

But this Thursday she was on Regis and Kelly, when she said about the photo shoot:

I play dress up. I do it for a living – like a retard.

Cue the professionally aggrieved, specifically Pete Burns, CEO of Arc:

I was extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate. Frankly, someone in her position ought to know better.

Someone in her position? What, an actress? A fairly average actress who if it wasn’t for the fact she has a very cute, girl next door thing going on you would never have heard of? She should know better than who? The President?

You know who should know better than to say really stupid, intellectually challenged, things: people with CEO on the business card.

fluffincolorMr. Diana Krall, Elvis Costello, this week joined the “shut up and sing,” club. Costello cancelled two upcoming concerts in Israel, stating:

…merely having your name added to a concert schedule may be interpreted as a political act…

This in contrast to cancelling already scheduled concerts, which is an apolitical act.

Last word to Israeli Sport and Culture Minister Limor Livant:

An artist who boycotts his fans in Israel is not worthy of performing in front of them.

fluffincolorSean Penn pleaded no contest to charges of vandalism this week after he was videotaped kicking a photographer. He was sentenced to 300 hours of community service and three years of informal probation.

How does an assault, on video, become vandalism? What’s the charge for spray painting walls? A speeding ticket?


fluffincolorRussell Crowe, somewhat known for being quick to rile, got upset and stormed out of an interview in England this week. When the interviewer suggested Crowe had a bit of an Irish accent in his new movie, Robin Hood, Crowe became angered and yelled:

What would you be talkin’ about, ya fekin gobsheit! Ya stupid wee man, ya wouldn’t know an Irish accent if it dropped it’s pot of gold on your toes.

He then finished his Guiness and stormed off.

Top signs that Russell Crowe is angry:

  • Puts a petrol bomb under your bonnet
  • Stands and drops his pants, all the while yelling Pogue Mahone
  • Knee-caps you with a hurl.
  • Dons an Aaron sweater and says, “I like it too.”
  • Drops his pot of gold on your toes.
  • Guest edit’s the Globe and Mail
  • Bops you on the head with his shillelagh.

fluffincolorJoni Mitchell gave a rare interview last week with the LA Times:

We (Bob Dylan) and I are like night and day, he and I. Bob is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is deception.

Oh, my! Tell us what you really think Joni.

She had more to say regarding Grace Slick and Janis Joplin being drunken tramps – they were “sleeping with their whole bands and falling down drunk” – and Madonna:

Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.

Madonna as anti-Christ. There’s an argument I can get behind.

Other revelations in the Joni Mitchell interview:

  • The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are neither red, hot nor chilli peppers.
  • Jakob Dylan plagiarised his fathers last name.
  • The Led Zeppelin song Going to California, heretofore thought to be written about Joni Mitchel, was really written about “That Girl” Marlo Thomas.
  • The reason the Toronto Maple Leafs have not won a Stanley Cup in 40 years is that Joni Mitchell cursed them by writing about them in her song Raised on Robbery.
  • Jose Feliciano is the judge for the People Magazine’s most beautiful people.
  • Bob Dylan mumbles

fluffincolorSixteen year old singing sensation/tweener heartthrob Justin Beiber commented to People magazine this week about President Barack Obama mis-pronouncing his name at Beiber’s first visit to the White House last year:

He messed up my name, but I give it to him. He’s not (the) age category I sing to. He’s not “one less lonely girl”.

I would have preferred if he had said, “Dude. You can pronounce Netanyahu, but you can’t get Bee-ber? Put it on the teleprompter and get it right next time.” However, the “it’s more than I expect from some old, square guy,” routine that he went with was good too.

fluffincolorLife and Style magazine has gone undercover to find out, which Hollywood big shots have big shooters. The big men about town, in no particular order, we hope, are: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette, David Spade, Jamie Kennedy, Brian Austen Green, Jaret Leto and Andy Dick.

Noticeably absent from the list is any of those Hollywood loudmouth types (DiCaprio excepted) like Sean Penn or Matt Damon, proving once again, guys with big dicks don’t have to go around acting like they have big dicks.

fluffincolorIn an interview with Parade magazine, Elton John angered Christians by stating that Jesus Christ was:fluffposter01sample

…a compassionate super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.

US Christians are particularly angry, claiming labelling Jesus a “sexual deviant” is akin to labelling Elton John “fashionable.”

Other little know Elton John religious facts:

  • Elton played Candle in the Wind at Jesus’ crucifixion, changing the words to Goodbye, Jesus. Dude
  • A recently discovered first draft of an English translation of the bible refers to the holy trinity as The Father, The Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy.
  • John the Baptist also wore powder blue track pants.
  • On Halloween 1517, Martin Luther posted a scathing review of the previous nights Elton John concert in Wittenberg on the church door. Pope Leo X, an Elton John fan, declared the review a hearsay and ex-communicated Luther.
  • Benny and the Jets is about a Super Bowl III party in the Hampton’s with Pope Benedict, who then went by the sobriquet Benny the Bishop.
  • A Priest’s vestments were originally modelled after Elton John’s early stage clothes.
  • Elton John was due to appear at Jeuruselum-a-palooza in 1095 when he got a bout of food sickness. Fans rioted, causing the Imams of the Caliphate to issue a crowd control fatwa. The ensuing battle was the First Crusade.John was only able to escape with his life when the Knights Templar snuck him out of the holy city. They would be his bodyguards for the next 1,000 years for which he signed over royalty rights to his Greatest Hits album.
  • Jesus’ sandals were made by Gianni Versace.

fluffincolorThe Late Shift II: Conan the Leftoutinthecoldian – There really is one story in entertainment this week: Leno vs. O’Brien.

In a redux of 1991’s decision to replace Johnny Carson with Jay Leno instead of heir apparent David Letterman, NBC announced is shaking up The Late Show, once again anointing Leno and leaving hair apparent O’Brien out in the cold.

Leno’s new 10PM show has bombed, and NBC announced they were moving Leno back to 11:30 with a new half-hour show. O’Brien balked at being moved to midnight, telling NBC to go letter their man. Leno will return to the Late Night fold, with Jimmy Kimmel retaining O’Briens old 12:30 slot. And O’Brien? It appears he will take heed of Leno’s advice to NBC when the story started to break last week and travel: Fox, he said, is beautiful this time of year.

Who the long term winner will be is anybody’s guess, but it seem likely there will be one long term loser: Leno’s reputation as a nice guy.

fluffincolorSo your Tiger Woods. Your nice guy image is in tatters, your reputation need rebuilding. Your wife is leaving, and taking with her the kids and $300M. Pat Burns is on Montreal radio telling the world your gorgeous Swedish wife took a nine iron to your face before you got in the Cadillac, which she then took the nine iron to the windows of. What do you need to revive your image? How about a magazine cover with you looking like it was taken in the prison yard:

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The world is upside down when I feel sorry for Tiger Woods.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Plagiarism Edition – Joni Mitchell, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts.

May 1st, 2010

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorJoni Mitchell gave a rare interview last week with the LA Times:

We (Bob Dylan) and I are like night and day, he and I. Bobmarshmallow_fluff03 is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is deception.

Oh, my! Tell us what you really think Joni.

She had more to say regarding Grace Slick and Janis Joplin being drunken tramps – they were “sleeping with their whole bands and falling down drunk” – and Madonna:

Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.

Madonna as anti-Christ. There’s an argument I can get behind.

fluffincolorOther revelations in the Joni Mitchell interview:

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers are neither red, hot nor chilli peppers.

Jakob Dylan plagiarized his fathers last name.

The Led Zeppelin song Going to California, heretofore thought to be written about Joni Mitchel, was really written about That Girl Marlo Thomas.

The reason the Toronto Maple Leafs have not won a Stanley Cup in 40 years is that Joni Mitchell cursed them by writing about them in her song Raised on Robbery.

Jose Feliciano is the judge for the People Magazine’s most beautiful people.

Bob Dylan mumbles

fluffincolorSandra Bullock has filed for divorce from her wayward husband, Jesse James. While Bullock was apparently devastated by revelations of James multiple affairs, she was equally appalled by a picture showing him in Nazi dress, using his finger to mock-up a Hitler moustache and giving a Nazi salute:

The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married… anything Nazi…have no place in my life. And the man I married felt the same.

Am I the only person in this world who sees the iron cross that James uses as his business logo and thinks of the Nazi’s?

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fluffincolorPeople Magazine came out with their 2010 Most Beautiful Woman issue for 2010, and the winner is… Julia Roberts?

Even in her prime 20 years ago I wouldn’t put Julia Roberts on my top 50 beautiful women list, a list that includes my wife, my neighbour and my singer. But in an edition of People Magazine that will heavily feature Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts will be on the cover as most beautiful? Absurd!

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The Freedom of Music: Rock and Roll

February 28th, 2010
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freedom-of-music-header

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.
Rush – Spirit of Radio.

A few weeks ago I was on about the resurgence of the LP, this week I’d like to take a moment to whine about an LP I can’t find. Canada’s Social Code has a new disk “Rock ’N’ Roll,” available in the usual ways, CD, iTunes, various illegal download sites.sidebar-4 It is, however, almost the perfect disk for LP release and yet, that’s the one format I haven’t found it on yet.

Rock ‘N’ Roll. That’s the title. It used to be that meant something, something more than barre chords, 4/4 time and a shuffle rhythm. As kids we listened to rock, but we believed in rock ’n’ roll. In Kiss’s seminal live album, Kiss Alive, Paul Stanley asks the Cobo Hall audience, “Do you believe in Rock and Roll.” It wasn’t corny, and the audience cheered. “Then stand up for what you believe in,” he answers them back. As if rock ’n’ roll is freedom, or killing Nazi’s or women’s rights or peanut butter (sorry, that‘s clap your hands). The thing is, was, we did believe in rock ’n’ roll in the same way a person believes in freedom and civil rights. We believed rock ’n’ roll was more than music, it was a movement.

While it was a movement, it was also very personal. We didn’t just listen to music, we loved it. It breathed life into our being. It “moved our soul,” and as such we accepted it as important. In a world of pre-packaged disposable everything, including music, I miss that. I miss the feeling that music is important, that it can affect the world. I still listen to a fair bit of rock ’n’ roll, but in a world where the Rolling Stones have sponsored tours, the Who play the Superbowl on Prime Time TV and Bob Dylan is like a Rolling Stone only in so much as his music is also available for advertising, I miss the idea of Rock ’n’ Roll.

Note the quotes above. Rock ’n’ roll “moved our soul.” The quotes are from the title track to Social Codes Rock ’n’ Roll album. It’s a ballad in the old style, acoustic guitar with a running bass line melody, a cello, and one guy singing his heart out. Not in the academy style of a well trained voice, but a from the testicles, gut it out style of singing from rock ’n’ roll’s old school. And it speaks volume about what’s missing, what’s wrong with today’s music.

I like it stripped down raw and naked,
A Little Peace of your Heart I’ll take it
Turn it as loud as it will go

I don’t want it packaged neat
I don’t want it bought and sold
Don’t play it safe it’s time to lose control

I’m Gonna’ kill my television
Nad burn my radio
I want something that will move my soul
I want rock ’n’ roll

Let’s set these city streets on fire
Strike a match and start a riot
Burn it to the ground with rock ‘n’ roll

The battle stopped my ears still ringing
I miss the sound of sirens singing
The tattoo on my heart says rock ‘n’ roll

Wonderful stuff. And at the end, when he quietly moans “Where did you go” a couple of times between choruses, it‘s spine tingling. Somebody out there, somebody with a guitar, a microphone and a record deal gets it.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Better Late Than Never Edition: Bob Dylan’s Positively Number Two Street, Eva Longoria Parker kissed Teri Hatcher, Natasha Richardson (1963-2009)

March 21st, 2009
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Saturday Fluffernutter – all the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities.

fluffincolorBob Dylan’s neighbours near his Malibu home are upset over what’s blowing in the wind. Security at the Tambourine Man Compound (that’s Mr. Tambourine Man to you…) apparently aren’t allowed in the residence they are guarding. But a man on an eight hour shift Positively must hit Number Two Street, and you can’t expect  them to, um…, in the woods. So a porta potty has been established. Six months later, when the warm ocean breeze blows in off the Pacific, Dylan’s upscale neighbours get the sweet scent of his security staffs lunch – from six months ago.

fluffernutterNeighbours are not amused, but in these times of government that regulates every action you might think of performing, nobody put a “no permanent porta-potties allowed,” rule.

fluffincolorAmy Winehouse appeared in a London courtroom this week to answer charges of an assault at a high society ball last September. Winehouse pled not guilty, but the charges have already been costly as Winehouse was denied entry into the US the week before, forcing her to cancel an appearance at California’s Coachella Music Festival next month.

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Sarah Jassica Parker was spotted this week in, of all places… New York City filming a new romantic-comedy, “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” Personally, I was expecting a drama or historical piece from SJP. Other surprises, the rom-com also stars Hugh Grant.

Parker and friends are slated to being production of a new Sex in the City movie this summer also, shockingly, in New York City.

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Eva Longoria Parker confessed this week that an upcoming show features a scene in which she and and Teri Hatcher share a same sex kiss. I don’t actually watch Desperate Housewives, but I might just start.

fluffincolorNatasha Richardson (1963-2009) The thing that was shocking about Natasha Richardson’s death was the story line that preceded it. She had a minor accident, which suddenly turned in to reports of her being brain dead. For my friend Richard, who doesn’t understand the fuss, this was a person who had it all, in the prime of her life, suddenly gone because a minor fall on the small hill at a ski resort.

Regardless of whether you think this was over-played in the media (it was), there is an element of tragedy in this story. Unlike other celebrities, she had a long term marriage to Liam Neeson for fifteen years and was a mother to two sons, 14 and 13. Neeson for his part played the role of Oskar Schindler and once drove a forklift truck at the Guinness factory, so he gets extra credit from me.

Condolences from At Home in Hespeler to Natasha Richardsons family, who suffer this weekend as all people who lose a loved one do.

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