At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

It was awards weekend last weekend as The Canadian Music Awards, known as the Juno’s, the Country Music Awards and The Razzies all were handed out.

With William Shatner hosting, Michael Buble winning best album for a Christmas album, and then not being present to accept his award, The 2011 Juno’s are being called strange. One reason they are being called strange is that deadmau5 did not win best electronic dance album. Frankly, any award show that takes a man in a mouse head seriously is by definition strange. The fact the man with the mouse head was in Ottawa only makes things a little less strange.

Over in Las Vegas, meanwhile, the Academy of Country Music Awards were also handed out Sunday night. The big winners were husband and wife Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. Mr Lambert won best male vocalist while Mrs. Shelton won best female vocalist and album of the year for her record, “Four The Record.”

But the Junos and the Academy of Country Music Awards are the small potatoes. The real news is The Golden Raspberries. The Razzies for the worst in movies for the past year were handed out on Saturday night and for the first time one movie cleared the table. Adam Sandler’s Jack & Jill had more nominations than categories and Sandler won worst actor and worst actress for his dual role as Jack Sadelstein and his sister Jill Sadelstein. As well, Al Pacino won worst supporting actor for his role as Al Pacino in Jack & Jill. The movie, which critics at review site Rotten Tomatoes disliked almost unanimously, received all ten Razzies handed out.

A Charlize Theron sex video sounds like the end of the line for Internet porn, any further videos having being made moot. Alas, it was not the case as the sex-video released this week was a parody sex video involving Theron as in a dominatrix role and two submissive men being cowered by her. It was, according to press reports, Theron proving she had comedy chops. I disagree, it was not all that funny. It was, however, proof that what the world needs is a real Charlize Theron sex video.

Speaking of hot Internet videos, Bond Girl in the upcoming 007 flick, Skyfall, Naomie Harris, has spent the last two months at the shooting range learning how to use , “machine guns, hand guns… Walter PPK’s,” in preparation for the role as Eve, a field agent who works with James Bond. She has a video diary highlighting her progress, available, no doubt, at the better internet sites.

The role of James Bond in Skyfall will once again be butchered by Daniel Craig.

In other James Bond Skyfall news, there is rumour that the English Olympic committee is planning on having a Skyfall promo as part of the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics this August. This is apparently an answer for those who complained the Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis on top of the bus schtick was too cheesy. Because a Daniel Craig/ James Bond trailer wouldn’t be cheesy.

Alec Baldwin is engaged. the former Mr. Kim Basinger (54), retweeted a message this week that said:

Congrats to my longtime friend Alec Baldwin and his wonderful bride to be Hilaria Thomas. Congrats on his engagement

Thomas’s, for the record, is a 28-year old yoga instructor.

The good spirits around the engagement lasted all of a day, after 2 New York Daily News reporters attended Thomas’ yoga class Monday, where they snapped a couple of pictures of the Hilaria Diamond, a square-cut Cartier engagement ring. Baldwin was peevish in tweets Tuesday:

New reporters from the Daily News crashed @hilariathomas yoga class today to take photos and post pictures. their names are … Simone Weichselbaum… And Enid Alvarez… shame on the no-talent trash from the Daily News for invading the privacy of 75 people in a yoga class to take a picture of someone.

While he has a point, I must say, shame on Baldwin for using multiple tweets to send one message. I’ve un-followed people for less.

Fluffernutter alec baldwin, Blake Shelton, Charlize Theron, Country Music Awards, Daniel Craig, deadmau5, Hilaria Thomas, James Bond, Juno's, Michael Buble, Miranda Lambert, Naomie Harris, razzies, Skyfall, William Shatner

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Nashville is sinking man, and Taylor don’t wanna swim…

It’s not making the news like other natural disasters do, mostly it seems because Nashvillian’s are looking after themselves, not looking for the federal government to look after them. However, Nashville is enduring a major flood and the country music world is stepping up. The Country Music Association is donating half the proceeds from their annual CMA music festival to flood relief. The festival runs June 10-13 in Nashville.

Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is donating half-a-million dollars to flood relief. She made the announcement on a local telethon, “Flood Relief with Vince Gill and Friends.”

In other country music news, two of country’s “hottest singles,” are off the market as Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton are engaged. Thirty-three year old Shelton, winner of 2010’s Country Music Associations, “Vocal Event of the Year,” proposed to proposed to the twenty-six year old, five time Academy of Country Music Award winner on Sunday in Oklahoma.

Being an olde timey kind of guy, Shelton even asked Lambert’s father, Rick, for permission to marry her. Rick apparently didn’t reply:

You marry Miranda? have you seen Miranda? Have you seen you? Go away and come back when you have won as many awards as her.

No word on when the wedding will be.

Meanwhile, in London, Julie Andrews fans are flooding the airwaves with complaints after Andrews gave a concert Saturday at the O2 arena in which she sang only two songs. The legendary actress and singer sang A Cockeyed Optimist, and My Funny Valentine, but left the bulk of the singing to others. Andrews, 74, who had a botched voice operation in 1997, also narrated a musical staging of the children’s book she wrote with her daughter.

One Brit-tab ran the headline, “The Tills are Alive with the Sounds of Refunds.”

Sean Penn pleaded no contest this week to charges of vandalism this week after he was videotaped kicking a photographer. He was sentenced to 300 hours of community service and three years of informal probation. How does an assault, on video, become vandalism? What’s the charge for spray painting walls? A speeding ticket?

In other celebrity legal news, Lindsay Lohan missed a court appearance in her impaired driving case a few weeks ago, leading to speculation she will plead no contest to embezzlement.

Russell Crowe, somewhat known for being quick to rile, got upset and stormed out of an interview in England this week. When the interviewer suggested Crowe had a bit of an Irish accent in his new movie, Robin Hood, Crowe became angered and yelled:

What would you be talkin’ about, ya fekin gobsheit! Ya stupid wee man, ya wouldn’t know an Irish accent if it dropped it’s pot of gold on your toes.

He then finished his Guiness and stormed off.

Top signs that Russell Crowe is angry:

– Puts a petrol bomb under your bonnet
– Stands and drops his pants, all the while yelling Pogue Mahone
– Knee-caps you with a hurl.
– Dons an Aaron sweater and says, “I like it too.”
– Drops his pot of gold on your toes.
– Guest edit’s the Globe and Mail
– Bops you on the head with his shillelagh.

Lena Horne (1917 – 2010). Lena Horne was known as an actress and civil rights activist, but it was her silky voice by which millions knew her. Enduring racism early in her career, Horne became an activist in the American civil rights movement of the 1960‘s. She appeared in seven feature films, including Stormy Weather, which produced her biggest hit, the title track.

Lena Horne died this week, aged 92.

Fluffernutter A Cockeyed Optimist, Blake Shelton, Country Music Association, Julie Andrews, Lena Horne, Lindsay Lohan, Miranda Lambert, My Funny Valentine, Nashville, O2 arena, Robin Hood, Russell Crowe, Sean Penn, Taylor Swift, Vince Gill