At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Fluffernuttery

Big weekend last if you are Venice. Not the inhabitants of that once proud Principality, but Venice itself: the Palazzo’s, the Grand Canal, the little wooden boats not seen since Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The Clooneys and his wife, formerly Amal Alamuddin, tied the knot at the Aman Hotel on the Grand Canal.

Clooney was very pretty in black tux, while Alamuddin was tall and ruggedly handsome in red. The guest list was full on A-list, assuming you consider Anna Wintour and Cindy Crawford A-list, two people every media outlet I saw couldn’t help but splash across their pages.

And while George and Alamuddin went for the big show style wedding the real star of the show was the gorgeous city of Venice, which is currently holding for George Clooney’s agent, who is none to pleased with it.

More trouble for former very cute teen star Amanda Bynes. Now a 28-year old for teen star, trouble has managed to find her. Saturday night, at somewhere in the neighbourhood of 3AM, Bynes was stopped by the CHiPs guys (no not Erik Estrada, the real ones) and arrested for driving under the influence of a controlled subsistence. She was then booked and remained in custody until noon Sunday, when she was released on $15,000 bond.

Question: Where was Frankie Muntz to keep Bynes out of trouble, I always that was his job.

Cat Stevens, aka Yusaf Islam, is tired of self imposed obscurity, has booked a concert tour of six cities. The man who once agreed that a Fatwa against Salmon Rushdie for daring to write The Satanic Verses was proper and correct. Now he has the gall to call his little tour the Peace Train Tour, so you can be sure there be lots of hectoring the don’t agree with cold blooded murder types in the audience on their evilness.

Anyway, he has cancelled his New York show because the tickets are paper tickets, not pdf files that people print themselves or something. Remarkably, this doesn’t seem to be an environmental complaint, but something about scalpers being able to resell paper tickets, but not printed PDF tickets, or something.

Look, bottom line here: if you go see this fuck-wad who dislikes free speech and thinks murdering authors whose works disagree with his world view is OK, shame on you.

Sad news out of the AC/DC camp. With a new album ready to come down the pipe, and tour plans being made, the band has announced that rhythm guitarist Malcolm Young is suffering from Dementia. Reports are that the 62-year old Young, brother of lead guitarist/perennial school boy Angus, is already in long term care.

Oh dear! Charlie Sheen is back in the news, and it ain’t good.

Sheen is being investigated by LAPD for battery against a dental technician and assault with a deadly weapon against his dentist. The story is Sheen went to the dentist for an abscess while high on crack. When the technician put the gas mask on him, he freaked, flailing his arms and hitting the technician. When the dentist finally came in, Sheen allegedly pulled a knife on him.

Nobody was hurt, but it’s reported the LAPD plans to send the case on to the D.A. to decide if charges will be laid.

Fluffernutter, Saturday Morning Coffee AC/DC, Amal Alamuddin, Amanda Bynes, Angus Young, Anna Wintour, Cat Stevens, Charlie Sheen, Cindy Crawford, Frankie Muntz, George Clooney, Malcolm Young, Venice, Yusaf Islamz

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Lindsay Lohan stepped in a pile of destiny-doo this week. First she asked of Amanda Bynes, “hey, how come I had to do time for my driving infractions, and she doesn’t?” Lohan, you will recall, got sentenced to 30 days of art lessons in her home for a variety of probation and drug violations after a series of in car incidences.

Lohan, not recalling all the 2nd chances she was given, wondered why the un-convicted Bynes didn’t suffer the same fate she did after convictions, missed hearings, probation violations and failed drug tests.

Lohan then went out and committed an act of karma, clipping a man in New York City. Lohan got out of her Porsche Cayenne SUV, checked for damage, and went into the club she was heading too without so much as a “sorry ’bout the inconvenience,” to the man with an unspecified knee injury.

Upon leaving Dream nightclub, Lohan was then arrested for leaving the scene of an accident.

If only Amanda Bynes had been in jail…

I’d like see the coyote eat the road runner.
And I’d like to see Kneievel blown to bits.
I’d like see Rex Humbard lay his hands upon Moly Bea.
But I’d love to see Kate Middleton’s …

From the Fiddle on Nero file, an act of war has been committed against a sovereign, as a French photographer took clandestine pictures of the future Queen of Britain and her realms, Kate Middleton. Middleton was sunbathing topless at a private chateau and, it must be said, had a very reasonable expectation of privacy.

The pictures were then published in a French magazine, and quickly thereafter to the internet, where a google search will turn them up pretty post haste.

William, who’s mother died being chased on the streets of Paris by paparazzi, was furious and the couple has filed suit. The photographer, meanwhile, is currently in hiding. From whom, we can’t quite figure, but at least it’s not from a mob named Mohammad.

True love always finds a way. So it is with Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the Twilight heart throbs who keep their teenage fans in a tizzy with their on-screen/off-screen romance.

A while back the off-screen portion of the romance ended when Stewart was found to be having an affair with Rupert Sanders, who is much older, married and director of her movie Snow White and the Huntsman. Heartbroken and humiliated, Pattinson dumped the unfaithful Stewart and moved out of their Hollywood “love-nest.”

This week, all is right with the world again as Pattinson and Stewart have reignited the flame of love and gotten back together.

On an unrelated note, their new movie together, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, is in theaters November 16th.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Kate Middleton, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“There was no scandal: there was just sex” Josh Schmenge

So Heidi Klum and Seal hit the skids. In the usual nasty aftermath stage of a marriage, Seal proposed that Klum was acting scandalously with her longtime bodyguard, Martin Kristen. “Sleeping with the help,” was his unhelpful terminology.

“Hmph! No scandal here,” replied Klum.

This week she clarified her remarks: “What Josh Schmenge said.”

You gotta admire George Clooney, he’s had non-scandals with a number of beautiful women. His latest, model Stacy Keibler, may be the most beautiful, and by a long shot.

Last week a report emerged that they’re finished. A report that’s being denied by all concerned. Clooney’s people say their happy together, likewise Keibler’s. Which leads to the one important question:

are Keibler’s handlers her elfs?

Chris Brown has always been such a nice guy. Now he’s a nice guy with art.

Brown showed off a new tattoo on his neck this week, that looked like the beaten face of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna, whom he was convicted of assaulting a few years back.

“Oh no, no!” say’s Brown. “It’s art,” specifically a design of a skull for the Mexican celebration of the day of the dead. Well, maybe, but when you have beaten Rihanna, you need to be careful about tattooing dead/beaten faces on your neck.

Personally, I think neck tattoos mark you as dumb as a post, whoever it’s a beaten face of.

This story saddens me. Amanda Bynes was the cute, perky teen star who had an infectious enthusiasm. Now, she’s the worst driver in California.

In June she was arrested for DUI after a hit and run incident in April. Then last week she had yet another fender bender. Standing in front of his honour on Thursday, she was told point blank, stop driving without a license. So what do you do when the judge says, “don’t”?

For Bynes the answer is do!

Mere hours after being told stop driving already, she was in a fender bender, bumping a car while backing out of the parking lot. In fairness, paparazzi had surrounded her car and flash bulbs were popping, possibly making it hard for Bynes to actually see. But when the judge just finished saying don’t drive, it’s hard to blame the paparazzi for taking your picture driving.

Bynes needs to find a computer and google “Lindsay Lohan.” Surprising, really, that she hasn’t heard of Lohan before this.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Chris Brown, George Clooney, Heidi Klum, Josh Schmenge, Martin Kristen, Rihanna, Seal, Stacy Keibler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Hanna Montana, aka, kid star Miley Cyrus is engaged to be married to her boyfriend Liam Helmsworth.

The 19-and-a-half year old Cyrus is sporting a 3.5 carat diamond ring, which Helmsworth presented. y proposal to her last week. “Life is beautiful,” she then tweeted, meaning, we presume, she was on her way to an Italian film festival. The couple have been dating 3.5 years when they met on the set of “The Last Song.”

The big question is, will this be a weirdo Hollywood wedding, or more traditional fare where the DJ is informed that if he plays Achy Breaky Heart he will wake in the hospital with Achy Breaky Legs?

Review in Brief: “The Avengers is the best movie ever. And, it’s really funny. You have to go see it dad.”

On the subject of former kid stars, Amanda Bynes has plead not guilty to a drinking and riving charge stemming from an April arrest in Hollywood.
Bynes, it turns out, could not have possibly have been driving under the influence because she does not drink. What is not explained is why she then refused a breathalyzer or a blood test. But rest assured, it’s all the cop in questions fault, asking President Obama on twitter to, “Please fire the cop who arrested me.” When the time Amanda Bynes emerges to tell you how you have to vote otherwise live your life, remember she thought it was the Presidents job to fire city officers.

Amanda, he can’t help because a)he’s the President of the United States and this is a local matter and b) your not Raven.

Former Happy Days brat Erin Moran, who played Joanie on the iconic show, as well as starred in run-off show Joanie loves Chachi, is broke and lives in a trailer. It’s reported that Moran lost her California home last year, and she and her husband live in a trailer park in Indiana.

You’d think there would be all sorts of money, what with celebrity being a commodity itself these days and seeing as Happy Days still shows on re-runs and sells DVD’s, &tc., and you’d be right. But CBS Studios and Paramount Pictures has kept the money, offering that the talent has no clam on the coin.

Suit has been filed and Moran, along with co-stars Anson Williams, Marion Ross and Don Most are looking for something in the neighbourhood of half-a-million dollars.

Perhaps Moran will be upgrading to a double-wide in the near future.

John Mayer is not exactly a gentleman, famous for his discretion. Of Jennifer Aniston he is said to have wrote Heartbreak Warfare (push it in and twist the knife again. Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain”) and Jessica Simpson he recently called “sexual napalm.” So when Yet another ex, that sweet Taylor Swift, writes a song about him, all fair &tc., right?

It (writing the song) was a really lousy thing to do… I will say as a songwriter thatI think it’s kind of cheap songwriting… I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, “Wait till he gets a load of this!”

Coming from a man who recently was recently on the cover of Rolling Stone and expounding at length about masturbation in the included interview, talk of other people rubbing their hands together and abusing their talent sounds just crass.

Bob Welch (1946 – 2012)

Back when Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors owned the album chart and airwaves, For Mac guitarist Bob Welch had his first solo album on the charts. For my money at the time, French Kiss was the better album. Featuring the hits Sentimental Lady Ebony Eyes, French Kiss was a Welch’s biggest hit.

Sadly, Bob Welch shot himself in the chest this week at his California home. He was apparently suffering a medical condition and left a note.

Rest in Peace Bob Welch.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Anson Williams, Avengers, Bob Welch, Don Most, Erin Moran, Hannah Montana, Happy Days, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Joanie loves Chachi, John Mayer, Marion Ross, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift