Saturday Fluffernutter: The Justin Beiber TPed My House Edition
All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities
Why don’t I particularly like Leonard DiCaprio? you ask. What could possibly be wrong with him? you’re thinking.
This week, DiCaprio did the same old, same old ALS Ice Bucket Challenge that all your Facebook friends are doing. DiCaprio, however, used it as an opportunity to call out Stephen Harper, whom he seems to dislike, being democratically elected by mere Canadian’s and not Hollywood approved. So from his pious perch, and while visiting the Athebasca oil sands, the little pissant couldn’t resist turning a charity stunt into a political one.
So to answer your question, I can’t stand twerps who can’t let something go, just the one time.
Hibbity-Hop impresario Suge Knight, who was in the car with Tupac Shakur when he was shot, was himself shot this weekend at an LA club.
The – ahem – 49-year old was shot multiple times by a single suspect during a party ahead of the MTV Music Video Awards.
The co-founder of Death Row Records is reportedly resting at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. “Suge is currently resting and has lost a lot of blood, he’s human. He’s done a lot of things for the community and the culture as a whole so we ask that you respect that,” the family said.
It’s one thing when 21-year olds go to clubs and shooting breaks out – it’s not OK, and it happens far too often nowadays, but at least you can see how it can happen. But a 49-year old? And for the record, the fact that a 49-year old man can’t go to a club without risk of being shot is what the family is talking about when they say, “He’s done a lot of things for the… culture as a whole”
David Beckham booted one on his bike Friday morning, dropping his custom built motorcycle on Sunset Boulevard. Becks was leaving a tattoo parlour – cause what he needs is more tattoos – when he apparently swerved to avoid paparazzi, dropping his ride.
Later in the day, Beckham was spotted at LAX with a cast on his right arm.
Who’s dumber than Miley Cyrus? The people who run the MTV video awards? Close, but no. A lamppost? Not really. Jesse Helt? Yes, and who’s that now?
Helt is a young homeless man, whom Cyrus took to the MTV video awards as her date – if by date you mean someone she picked up literally off the street for the express purpose of manipulating him. When she won an award for “Wrecking Ball,” (which should embarrass MTV no end, but won’t), she had Helt go on stage an lecture the assembled on the plight of the homeless. Problem is, Helt has an outstanding warrant for parole violations back in his home state of Oregon.
All the attention, while I’m sure wonderful for Cyrus’ career, meant that Oregon officials took notice. So Helt has now returned to Oregon and turned himself in. He is out on bail, possibly paid for by Cyrus, but having had his 15-minutes – literally actually – Helt can now face the consequences while Cyrus gets to go on with her privileged little life.
That’s OK though, Cyrus can feel all squishy-goodnessy about herself for raising awareness about homelessness, even if she had to screw over some homeless guy to do it.
And finally, my favourite story in, well forever. While Justin Beiber is egging houses and getting in car accidents and then blaming the paparazzi for causing them, the guys in Motley Crue mocked him this week as “weak.” The Crue guys took hell raising to unheard of heights during the 80’s, so they know a bad boy when they see it, and they don’t see it. According to Vince Neil this week:
“He started with the eggs, which was a little weak – a poor start. Then he got arrested in Miami for drag-racing and that was kinda cool – he was under the influence. Then he got arrested in Toronto and turned himself in. So he’s getting better, but he has work to do…. The next thing he’ll get arrested for is toilet-papering a house.”
Love it when the Beeb get’s taken to school, but as I always say at these stories, will somebody please tell him to pull up his pants.
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