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Saturday Fluffernutter

April 28th, 2007

All the Fluffy news about the worlds biggest nuts.

Rosie O’Donnell announced this week she is leaving the “Chick sit” show The View. Negotiations apparently bogged down when O’Donnell wanted a one-year contract and ABC wanted her “the hell off our set today.” A compromise was established and she is leaving in June.

Sheryl Crow approached Karl Rove at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, and badgered him about global warming. Rove got angry, and Crow eventually told him:

“You can’t speak to us like that, you work for us.”

A few days later, Crow posted an article on her website, in which she advises her fans:

“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.”

Which just goes to prove Karl Rove is just like the rest of us: his boss is an idiot.

Oh, and Crow now says the toilet paper thing was just a joke. Which leads us to the question, who was she poking fun at? Sheryl Crow?

It was an interesting week all around for Sheryl Crow, as later in the week as Archbishop Raymond Burke resigned as chairman of the Cardinal Glennon Children’s Foundation after its board of governors refused to pull the plug on a Sheryl Crow benefit concert Saturday. The Archbishop called Crow “a high profile proponent of the destruction of innocent lives,” upon tendering her resignation. “Oh,” he added, “she also has really smelly hands.”

Doris Richards, 91 year old mother to Kieth Richards, died last Saturday of unknown causes. At Home in Hespeler has received an exclusive that her last words were: “For Gods Sake, Don’t let him cremate me.”

Hugh Grant was arrested Thursday over an incident in which he allegedly threw a Tupperware container of baked beans at a photographer. We use the word allegedly because, while there is photographic evidence, the video is not yet on YouTube.

These photographers these days are becoming complete wimps. In the old days paparazzi got hit by tins of baked beans- now that would hurt. Back in the silent movie days, actors carried a pork shoulder to make beans while they were on set. No getting smacked by a wimpy old Tupperware container for the photographers of old, but did you ever hear of them complaining?

Thursday also saw an arrest warrant issued in India for Richard Gere. His offence, a very public smooching of Bollywood starlet Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS campaign event. Gere faces three months in an Indian prison if found guilty, which, you gotta figure, is a lot worse than a tin of beans to the head.

Farewell to Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett, who passed away this week at age 69. Pickett was known for his novelty hit “The Monster Mash. Picket apparently died of a “sudden surprise when his eyes beheld an eerie sight while working in the lab late one night.” The Crypt Kicker Five is said to have performed the music at his wake.

Celebrities, Fluffernutter, RIP

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