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Saturday FlufferNutter

February 10th, 2007

All the Fluff about those Hollywood Nuts:

Yoko Ono has a new CD out. Yes, I’m a Witch is a CD, released Tuesday, finds Mrs. Lennon being joined by a bunch of young bands, such as Shitake Monkey, The Apples In Stereo, Polyphonic Spree and The Flaming Lips. The title track is actually not bad, a good rocker that reminds me of something off of Marianne Faithful’s Broken English album. Sadly, the other three tracks I heard sounded like Ms. Ono was being backed up by her usual Scottish band, Tuneless McScreetchy.

Teri Hatcher has not had realignment surgery! The Desperate Housewife told British magazine Glamour this week, “I don’t use Botox or Restylane and I’ve never had any surgery, no matter what you read. That’s the one downside of fame – on any day you can find loads of hideously mean things said about you on-line. It hurts, you know?” Here’s the thing Teri, it’s not mean. They are saying you look great, or if you prefer, “if they’re real, they’re fabulous.”

It’s celebrities and the law week at the FlufferNutter. First up is Ryan O’Neal, who was charged this past weekend with shooting at his son Griffin. Since Saturday, it’s turned uglier, with more claims of wrong doing flying since the last Lindsey Lohan movie shoot.

Next up is Daniel Baldwin, one of the many Baldwin brothers I’ve never actually heard of, who failed to appear in court this week on charges he “illegally took another persons car.” For his trouble, or lack of taking any, a bench warrant has been issued for his arrest.

Finally we have child molester Gary Glitter. Gary is in jail in Vietnam. Of all the experiences I don’t want to have, a Vietnam jail is well up the list. Glitters three year sentence for molesting two young girls has been reduced by three months:

“Every year at major national holidays, the Vietnamese president grants amnesties or reductions of sentences for prisoners. In 10 days’ time, Vietnam will ring in the Lunar New Year, or Tet, the Southeast Asian country’s most important celebration.”

While you might think Glitter would be somewhat happy for any reprieve, the “vile beast” has been put on suicide watch:

SICK pop pervert Gary Glitter was on suicide watch in a Vietnamese hell-hole jail last night.

The vile beast was sure his three-year sentence would be slashed by half and he would be back on the streets by May.

But the shamed star was left in despair after it was cut by just three months, leaving the monster locked up until August 2008.

Glitter, 62, took the news so badly, he was placed on immediate suicide watch at the notorious Thu Duc detention centre.

An insider said: “He was sure he would be out in months and made plans for his release.

I have no time for child molesters, but a Vietnamese prison can’t be a fun place.

Jessica Simpson is complaining that she was stung when ex-husband Nick Lachey began dating so soon after she dumped him: “Oh it hurt me. Two or three weeks later? Yeah, I’d say it kind of hurt me.” Sorry Jessica, when you do the dumping your not allowed to complain that he hurt you by jumping back into the dating pool: you threw him in the water, don’t bitch when he swims. On the other hand, if Daisy Duke dumped you, don’t you think you would pine for a few months or years? Isn’t that just good form?

Harrison Ford has finally signed on to do a fourth Indiana Jones movie. The movie, as yet untitled, begins shooting in June and is set for release on May 22, 2008. It will have been 19 years (almost exactly) since the May 1989 release of the last Indiana Jones movie “The Last Crusade.” Finally a movie that the family will all want to see, although maybe not at the same time.

The Police have a press conference scheduled for Monday, after the Grammy’s on Sunday night. As it is the 30 year anniversary from the Police’s first sniff of success, speculation is running wild that they are set to announce that Sting is a pretentious twat.

Anna Nicole Smith is exhibit A in my future lectures to my daughter about the value of working hard and being independent. Everything that’s wrong with the concept of the gold-digger emerged in Smith’s life. The truth is, she never seemed to get the hang of life, and as a result her life became half farce-half tragedy. This pattern continued in death, with Smith dying the Marilyn Monroe death in a Hollywood hotel room. Hollywood Florida.


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