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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Justin Beiber Rampage Edition

June 2nd, 2012

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorA scuffle happened last weekend as Justin Beiber and his girlfriend, Selema Gomez, where doing date night Sunday in Los Angeles. Heading into the movie theatre, Beiber had a run in with a photographer. The upshot of the events are, Beiber lost a shoe in the scuffle and the photog went to police to complain Beiber beat him up. fluff01

I’m busy trying to imagine the circumstances under which I tell anybody if Justin Beiber beats me up, but I’m just not that imaginative. The working theory here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters is that the photographer is hoping for a big payday, but without a shred of dignity, what’s money?

While police in LA where looking to have a quiet chat with The Beib, The Beib went on the lamb, escaping justice by flying to Europe. JB landed in Norway, where a concert Wednesday left 49 people injured and the mayor of Olso, Fabian Stang, had to hide behind a tree to avoid being trampled by a horde of rampaging Beiber fans all hopped up on estrogen.

Stang ordered an investigation into events, and police, after conferring for seven minutes, concluded his worship was a pussy.

Once again, however, The Stratford Sinatra fled before the investigation got to the asking hard questions stage (slipping out under veil of night with fake papers is our bet) and turned up in Paris. JBeeb then held an impromptu concert on a balcony, singing some of his hits like Baby and One Time through a megaphone. The Latin Quarter was soon filled with screaming kids, interrupting the world famous Paris calm. Wine, we are led to believe, was drunk.

No word on if or where the mayor of Paris had to hide to avoid the marauding pre-teens.

Meanwhile, in Vancouver Beiber fans are upset because The Justin has announced a Canadian tour and is leaving Vancouver off it’s date list. Vancouver, apparently, hasn’t had a good riot in almost a year. This is doubly upsetting because The Beib is being backed up by local pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen. For her part, Jepsen took to twitter to assure fans a Vancouver date is coming. Somebody notify the RCMP.


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