At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Here’s what I thought when I heard that Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to house arrest for her probation violation, and she was going to spend the time painting. I thought she was going to paint the house.

Uh, no. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t do work, she has hobbies:

Lohan… was spotted stocking up on art canvases and supplies… she has decided to her time to explore new hobbies…

The thing is, if Lindsay Lohan wants to help herself, never mind finding ways to waste time, and learn to do some work for yourself would be the advice I would give. Put away the canvasses, little tubes and brushes, buy paint buy the gallon, a six pack of rollers, and paint the house. Learn to do something for yourself instead of finding something to do by yourself.

Rapper Sean Kingston was jet skiing in Miami last weekend when he crashed into the Palm Ave. Bridge.

He was zooming around the McArthur Causeway with a female passenger on is personal watercraft when the bridge suddenly jumped. Kingston is in hospital in critical condition.

The accident, according to authorities, was not alcohol related.

This isn’t offensive.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s four-year old daughter Shiloh is a tomboy. She likes comfortable boys clothes and, presumably, a bit of the rough and tumble (or do we now live in a universe where tomboy is expressly an matter of fashion?)

Chaz Bono, the former daughter of Sonny and Cher, stated rather publicly that he wants to talk to the pair about gender identity – because their four year old is a bit of a tom boy. Cause this is what Chaz does, he volunteers for a support group for “kids with gender identity issues.” And by kids, he obviously means, four year olds. One suspects Chaz should be careful where he treads here, lest Angie beats him sensless.

Here’s a thought. Instead of Chaz counselling Bard and Angelina on the gender identity of their child, perhaps Chaz should get Brad to counsel him on eating for one.

The cast of Jersey Shore have invaded Florence Italy. While traipsing around the beautiful renaissance city, Shore cast member Snooki hit a police car from behind in a “low-speed impact.”

The accident is considered to be… not alcohol related. Snooki, alcohol or no, has lost her Italian driving privileges.

Brian Gardiner Fluffernutter Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Chaz Bono, Jersey Shore, Lindsay Lohan, Sean Kingston, Snooki, Sonny and Cher