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Grounding in Hespeler Toy Raid Expected

February 22nd, 2006

Hespeler – Authorities today discovered a cache of illegal toys in the room of a local 8 year old boy. Among the toys discovered where a Chinese manufactured pump action water blaster 1000, a spider man web blaster and a Chinese made cap gun that authorities fear may have been purchased over the counter a dollar store. “The Water Blaster alone can deliver 1/2 a liter of water non-stop” said an adult at the scene “There were handcuffs too, and not the cheap plastic ones either, metal ones.” Authorities also discovered a lone ranger mask, a tire iron for bicycles, 3 hockey pucks “of the kind that is sometimes used in ‘chuck-a-puck’ competitions”, and an H2O Ammo water clip. Not shown in the picture was a Hurl, once used in an assault on a sister and a pointy stick, causing local mothers to fear that someone could lose an eye.

The 8 year old will be sent to his room to wait ’til his father gets home. Further grounding is expected, with crown prosecutors wanting two weeks without TV, while child care experts say time served waiting for Dad is sufficient punishment.

seized weapons are being tested to see if they are related to any unsolved soakings or frightenings of twitchy neighbours with loud ‘bangy’ noises.

Here is a complete inventory of the confiscated booty:

Elastic Gun
Chinese manufactured Shield Blaster 1000 water soaker.
Chinese manufactured Pump Action Water Gun
H2O AMMO Water Clip
Hot Wheels Jet Launcher, with Jet
Spider man Web Blaster with holder
Finger pointed in the classic gun position
Bicycle Tire Iron
3 “Chuck-a-Puck” style Hockey Pucks
Plastic Bullets
Plastic Holster
2 Used Elastic Bands
Irish Manufactured Hurl
24″ Pointy Stick

Also found were:

Wild Planet Spy Listener with attached ear phone
Infra-pink Spy glasses/ Walkie Talkie
Lone Ranger style mask
Handcuffs and Coin Rollers and a couple of dollars in coins.

I think that covers how I feel about this.


  1. Weinstein
    February 22nd, 2006 at 13:39 | #1

    Now that is funny…..’specially to an Ontario redneck. Thanks for the larf…..

  2. your wife
    February 25th, 2006 at 17:40 | #2

    For those of you who don’t know, my esteemed husband(Brian)here is also an economist, so my reply to this is written in his language. As in the drug movie “Traffic”, we need to address this abherent behaviour not only from the demand side, but also from the supply side. In other words, who is this juvenile delinquent getting these toys from?? Who is buying them for him???? While the mom of this house is the appointed allowance doler-outer, I am personally witness to many father-son visits to the toy aisle at Zeller’s. And its dad who ends up paying for the goods, not the boy.
    Don’t try to deny it, I have the debit card slips to prove it.


    p.s. I thought we agreed you were going to keep the pix of the kids off the internet….

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