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Good Morning, Mr. Prime Minister

January 28th, 2006

So, you have been The Right Honourable for two days now, how is it going? Press treating you any better? Lets see now, on your first day some aide to the President said they where pleased for you and looked forward to working with you and I heard on the radio how it was true, you where all buddy buddy with the Shrub. Of course, had President Bush not phoned a Liberal Prime Minister within hours we’d be talking about the snub. He doesn’t call you for two days and it proves your in cahoots with him. Then you take the kids to school with a million or two photographers in tow, and what happens? You decide not to embarrass them with a kiss in front of the world, you shake their hands and it proves your cold and Grinch-like. Of course, had you kissed them you would be a big meany who embarrassed the kids in front of the whole world, and a child abuser for giving them your chest cold and what kind of Dad are you anyway?

You know Stephen, I wouldn’t even try all this photo-op junk. You’re not good at it, and the critics will hate you anyway. Don’t believe me, ask Charles Adler about what can only be described as a despicable conversation. But despicable or not, these guys are not about to stop. They’re just going to keep writing junk like this:

The new Prime Minister of Canada is Stephen Harper. I can say, without fear of any reasonable contradiction, that Harper is the single worst human being to ever be Prime Minister of Canada.

Of course, if you contradicted him, it wouldn’t be ‘reasonable’, so there’s no arguing with the guy. As the left always does, they frame the basis for the argument, tilt it totally in their favour, and then dismiss you when you step outside of their rules. But hey, your “the single worst human being to ever…” and I’d vote for Hitler, so who are we to argue?

The question becomes, what to do? Well since the CBC, Dalton Mcguinty, David Miller and a cabal of detractors feel entitled to give you advice, so shall I. If you are smart you would print it out, take it to the P.A.M.S. Coffee outlet in Lincoln Center. Throw in a couple of bucks and you’ll be good for a White Chocolate Mocha Latte, which is truly excellent on one of those cold Ottawa winter days.

First, there are some ethics investigations to have. You cannot ignore these; too many people used the intellectually lazy excuse that all politicians are the same, so I might as well vote Liberal. If you ignore the needed investigations, you prove them right. Prove them wrong.

That said, it is not your investigation. Start up the process then get out of the way. Remember Cretien going after Mulroney for 7 years. He got away with, you won’t. You’ll be accused of being like Hitler if you interfere. Cut the auditor General and the RCMP loose (and whomever else is required to do a complete and thorough investigation) and get out of the way. And no leaks, it’ll look mean spirited and you can’t afford to waste goodwill on cheap political shots.

While we are the subject of the RCMP, de-politicize them. There is the impression amongst some of the citizenry that the RCMP didn’t do their job in the past 10 years, and they didn’t do so for political reasons. That’s unacceptable. Like ethics the RCMP must not just do their job, they must be seen to be doing their job. Free them from the restraint of Prime Ministerial overview, then let them find out what really happened in the past decade.

Next up is cities. The shut out in Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal makes it tempting to say “The hell with ’em.” As much fun as that would be to watch, don’t do it. Treat them as darlings. Be inclusive by including them. Talk to their mayors and help solve some of their problems. If you are magnanamous in places that didn’t vote for you, you give them reason to trust you. That’s what this mandate is about, trust. You have to prove yourself as a trustworthy statesman and politician. You have two choices, lose the scary tag or saddle your party with it forever. Don’t buy the junk about the Liberals being near extinction, but if you don’t convince voters your party isn’t scary, the Conservatives will be nearer extinction than you realize.

You have your 5 priorities, and I’m mostly there for you, but here’s a couple of thoughts. The NDP will push for proportional representation. Don’t go there. It will saddle this country with minority governments forever, and will give too much power to parties like, oh the NDP, who will forever use their 17% of the vote to maintain a hold over power. Proportional representation guarantees big, unwieldy government from now until Canada ceases to be. Don’t do it.

Do, however, change the Canada election’s act on third party advocation. If Michael Moore isn’t going to prosecuted two election in a row, even though he clearly broke this law, then scrap it. Start again, and never mind third parties. They are democratic voices speaking freely and as long as they aren’t associated with a party, shouldn’t fall under the jurisdiction of Elections Canada.

OK that’s it. Print this out, head to P.A.M.S., ask for Beth and tell her Brian sent you. This with the price of the coffee will get you that white chocolate mocha, and you’ll see I was right. Then consider my other points.

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