Archive for June, 2012

Toronto the Not in a Death Spiral:

June 28th, 2012
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Councillor Doug Ford got steamed up over the idea of the city spending $1.2 million on a bike station….

The station would have 380 spots for bikes and include showers

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Toronto the Not in a Death Spiral:

June 27th, 2012
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he heard what sounded like “an explosion or a bullet” when a piece of the Gardiner Expressway fell on his Mercedes.

Juxtaposed to this:

He (Mayor Rob Ford) should be in the parade on July 1st; he should be here today” (Councillor Janet) Davis insisted. The residents of Toronto and the LGBT community should have answers for why he’s not here. It’s his job.”

Davis said there was nothing more important than being at the flag raid
sing Monday

Back when I first noted Toronto was in a death spiral, it was suggested I was being overly negative because I didn’t like the then mayor. That’s missing the point. It’s about priorities. The mayors most important job is to ensure that chunks of concrete aren’t falling off one of the busiest sections of highway in North America, not to attend a parade or flag raising event. Yet Councillor Davis is treated as if she’s making a point instead of sounding like a complete moron.

Although she’s right about one thing, the Mayor of Canada’s largest city should be marching in a parade July 1st: he should be front and centre in the cities Dominion Day Parade. Or am I the only one starting to resent the fact this group has completely taken over the national holiday?

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Twenty-Four F-in Years

June 20th, 2012
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I started my current gig, overpaid lazy autoworker (and if you have ever used the phrase you should be sentenced to 8 hours in a car factory on a day like today) on June 20, 1988. I remember it like it was 24 years ago yesterday. If I could have my life to live over again, I would never had set foot in the dump, but truth be told, things have turned out pretty good overall.

Strangest thing is, every year on this day, I get Martin Mull’s This Takes the Cake stuck in my head, and can’t get rid of it. Not sure why…

For the record, Peter Frampton is playing the nice lead guitar licks.

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Stephen Harper’s a Big Mean Bully…

June 12th, 2012
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The lead clip on the homepage is a Stephen Harper diss called “I hate you, son” that’s ostensibly written from the perspective of the prime minister’s mother…

“Had I known it was you (who would be born) I never would have f—– your father. I would have consulted a clairvoyant. Had she told me about my child, I would have chosen abortion.”

"...go check it on the Internet, it will make you laugh, too."

"...go check it on the Internet, it will make you laugh, too."

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Picture of the Day: F-18 Hornet

June 11th, 2012
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Copyright Brian Gardiner 2012. Use by permission only

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The I Was Really Child Star Cornish Beck Edition

June 9th, 2012
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolor Hanna Montana, aka, kid star Miley Cyrus is engaged to be married to her boyfriend Liam Helmsworth.fluffernutter

The 19-and-a-half year old Cyrus is sporting a 3.5 carat diamond ring, which Helmsworth presented. y proposal to her last week. “Life is beautiful,” she then tweeted, meaning, we presume, she was on her way to an Italian film festival. The couple have been dating 3.5 years when they met on the set of “The Last Song.”

The big question is, will this be a weirdo Hollywood wedding, or more traditional fare where the DJ is informed that if he plays Achy Breaky Heart he will wake in the hospital with Achy Breaky Legs?

fluffincolorReview in Brief: “The Avengers is the best movie ever. And, it’s really funny. You have to go see it dad.”

fluffincolorOn the subject of former kid stars, Amanda Bynes has plead not guilty to a drinking and riving charge stemming from an April arrest in Hollywood.
Bynes, it turns out, could not have possibly have been driving under the influence because she does not drink. What is not explained is why she then refused a breathalyzer or a blood test. But rest assured, it’s all the cop in questions fault, asking President Obama on twitter to, “Please fire the cop who arrested me.” When the time Amanda Bynes emerges to tell you how you have to vote otherwise live your life, remember she thought it was the Presidents job to fire city officers.

Amanda, he can’t help because a)he’s the President of the United States and this is a local matter and b) your not Raven.

fluffincolorFormer Happy Days brat Erin Moran, who played Joanie on the iconic show, as well as starred in run-off show Joanie loves Chachi, is broke and lives in a trailer. It’s reported that Moran lost her California home last year, and she and her husband live in a trailer park in Indiana.

You’d think there would be all sorts of money, what with celebrity being a commodity itself these days and seeing as Happy Days still shows on re-runs and sells DVD’s, &tc., and you’d be right. But CBS Studios and Paramount Pictures has kept the money, offering that the talent has no clam on the coin.

Suit has been filed and Moran, along with co-stars Anson Williams, Marion Ross and Don Most are looking for something in the neighbourhood of half-a-million dollars.

Perhaps Moran will be upgrading to a double-wide in the near future.

fluffincolorJohn Mayer is not exactly a gentleman, famous for his discretion. Of Jennifer Aniston he is said to have wrote Heartbreak Warfare (push it in and twist the knife again. Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain”) and Jessica Simpson he recently called “sexual napalm.” So when Yet another ex, that sweet Taylor Swift, writes a song about him, all fair &tc., right?

It (writing the song) was a really lousy thing to do… I will say as a songwriter thatI think it’s kind of cheap songwriting… I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, “Wait till he gets a load of this!”

Coming from a man who recently was recently on the cover of Rolling Stone and expounding at length about masturbation in the included interview, talk of other people rubbing their hands together and abusing their talent sounds just crass.

fluffincolorBob Welch (1946 – 2012)

Back when Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors owned the album chart and airwaves, For Mac guitarist Bob Welch had his first solo album on the charts. For my money at the time, French Kiss was the better album. Featuring the hits Sentimental Lady Ebony Eyes, French Kiss was a Welch’s biggest hit.

Sadly, Bob Welch shot himself in the chest this week at his California home. He was apparently suffering a medical condition and left a note.

Rest in Peace Bob Welch.

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Toronto the Not in a Death Spiral: No Ban on Silly

June 6th, 2012
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“No nickel-fee on plastic bags,” Said Mayor Ford.

It’s uncompetitive,” said the Toronto Taxpayer Coalition.

Ah, screw it,” said the looneys.

For the record, David Shiner is listed as “right of centre” on wikipedia. This, City of Toronto, is your alternative voice to all those left-wing down-town councillors.

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Thomas Muclair and the Fine Art of Economic Idiocy

June 5th, 2012
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NDP leader Thomas Muclair hit the oil patch last week, finding himself amazed at the size of the thing and spouting nonsense economics.

As Jen Gersen points out in the National Post, his arguments are full of holes. One part of his argument in particular was stunning in how little economic knowledge was required to make it:

The second argument Mr. Mulcair made was that the profits of oil companies were being falsely inflated by the federal government’s refusal to enforce existing environmental legislation. Mr. Mulcair believes that if we started to crack down on oil sands environmental offenders, those costs would be internalized, profits would come down, and that would balance out the currency and thus, the economy

Is this what these guys think, currency fluctuates up and down based on profit margins? No wonder the envy-class yearn for the days of a weak dollar. Sadly, a weak dollar just means a fundamentally weak economy.

The currency’s value is a product of how much comes into the country and how much of it leaves the country – supply and demand. The reason the currency is high now, Mr. Muclair’s Dutch disease, is, in part, because the oil patch is selling so much of it’s oil internationally.

Increasing the fines paid for ignoring environmental law – and if Mr. Muclair has evidence that the laws of the land are being ignored without consequence he should bring it forward – cuts into the profits of those being fined, yes. But it doesn’t decrease one penny the amount of money coming into the country (unless, of course, companies decide to not invest in Canada lest they get on the radar of an envious governing class).

The NDP leader proves with his talk about devaluing the currency to make us stronger (NDP slogan, “strength through weakness”) that he has little grasp of macroeconomics. His solutions to the “problem” show he has even less of a grasp on microeconomics. Good thing there’s all those other branches of economics for him to get a handle on.

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Picture of the Day: Harvard’s in Formation

June 4th, 2012
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Richard Dawson 1932-2012

June 3rd, 2012
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Never mind all those people who are going to want to talk about Family Feud upon the death of Richard Dawson yesterday, he should be remembered for his part as Royal Air Force Corporal Peter Newkirk in Hogan’s Heroes.

RIP Richard Dawson, who passed of Esophageal Cancer at the age of 79 yesterday.


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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Justin Beiber Rampage Edition

June 2nd, 2012
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorA scuffle happened last weekend as Justin Beiber and his girlfriend, Selema Gomez, where doing date night Sunday in Los Angeles. Heading into the movie theatre, Beiber had a run in with a photographer. The upshot of the events are, Beiber lost a shoe in the scuffle and the photog went to police to complain Beiber beat him up. fluff01

I’m busy trying to imagine the circumstances under which I tell anybody if Justin Beiber beats me up, but I’m just not that imaginative. The working theory here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters is that the photographer is hoping for a big payday, but without a shred of dignity, what’s money?

While police in LA where looking to have a quiet chat with The Beib, The Beib went on the lamb, escaping justice by flying to Europe. JB landed in Norway, where a concert Wednesday left 49 people injured and the mayor of Olso, Fabian Stang, had to hide behind a tree to avoid being trampled by a horde of rampaging Beiber fans all hopped up on estrogen.

Stang ordered an investigation into events, and police, after conferring for seven minutes, concluded his worship was a pussy.

Once again, however, The Stratford Sinatra fled before the investigation got to the asking hard questions stage (slipping out under veil of night with fake papers is our bet) and turned up in Paris. JBeeb then held an impromptu concert on a balcony, singing some of his hits like Baby and One Time through a megaphone. The Latin Quarter was soon filled with screaming kids, interrupting the world famous Paris calm. Wine, we are led to believe, was drunk.

No word on if or where the mayor of Paris had to hide to avoid the marauding pre-teens.

Meanwhile, in Vancouver Beiber fans are upset because The Justin has announced a Canadian tour and is leaving Vancouver off it’s date list. Vancouver, apparently, hasn’t had a good riot in almost a year. This is doubly upsetting because The Beib is being backed up by local pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen. For her part, Jepsen took to twitter to assure fans a Vancouver date is coming. Somebody notify the RCMP.


Happy 65th Birthday…

June 1st, 2012
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In 1975 my father decided to expand his musical horizons. Marching bands being his music of choice, he had found some enjoyment in 70’s country. Maybe, he thought to himself, I should try this rock music my kids like so much. Sam the Record man had major sales every weekend, including the 99¢ album. Looking at the record of choice one week, he thought he’d give it a go. After all, the cover picture of the artist was a sensible looking man in a suit sitting at a Grand Piano. How bad could it be?

ron-wood-rod-stewartHe brought home Elton John’s Greatest Hits showing us his purchase. “Put on Saturday Night’s Alright fro Fighting,” said my older brother with a Machiavellian cunning that belied his 14 years. “It’s a great song!” Thus, on an album full of nice piano songs, or at worst a pop song about a crocodile or a rag-timish Honk, he dutifully put on the one song he was guaranteed to hate. Fifteen seconds later the album was back in it’s cover and my brother owned it.

The next week he went through the same routine, this time half-heartedly. His intent, however, was much different. This week was not about expanding his horizons, but sibling fairness and, although I don’t recall complaining that brother 1 got a free album, it was pretty clear this was about giving me a free album. Thus, at 12-years old I got The Faces Live Coast to Coast: Overture and Beginners. It was my introduction to the Faces and I was fairly well hooked.

A few years later when Ron Wood joined the Rolling Stones I was the only guy in grade 8 who had a clue who he was, and was suitably disappointed that The Faces now seemed over.

So it is I salute Ron Wood on the event of his 65th birthday not for his work as a Rolling Stone, not for leaving his fine wife of long standing for a virtual child/skank (actually, I’d smack him one for that if given a chance), not for Stay With Me, Ohh La La, Cut Across Shorty or many of the other very worthy Faces songs that would earn lesser mortals praise on these pages, but for being my first rock and roll disappointment.

Happy 65th Birthday Ron Wood, for being so good once upon a time.

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Fluffernutter Friday (formerly Cool for Cats)

June 1st, 2012
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In honour of Ron Woods 65th birthday, we present The Faces, a full concert from the BBC show Crown Jewels. These guys were brilliant.

More recently, Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider has done an album of broadway songs. Here’s a fun video of Mack the Knife.

And speaking of Ronnie Wood, here’s the fine woman he threw over for some Kalashnikoff.


Yea, that was true genius.

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