Archive for April, 2010

Saturday Fluffernutter: The Oprah Edition – plus: House-Music™ and Ringo-Religion™

April 17th, 2010

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorRecently the Vatican has forgiven The Beatles for John Lennon’s famous 1966 quote, “We’re bigger than Jesus.” At the time the Vatican condemned The Beatles, referring to them as “possibly satanic.”

Ringo Starr replied this week saying, “the Vatican has more things to worry about.”

Funny world when the Beatles are respectable and The Vatican is “possibly Satanic.”

fluffincolorCelebrity biographer Kitty Kellyfluff2released a new tell-all this week on TV super-duper-star Oprah Winfrey. The most surprising revelation? The big O once lived sinfully with John Tesh of Entertainment Tonight and really bad music fame.

Other Kelly revelations include about Oprah include:

Her real name is Oscar Winfield

Her husband Stedman is the founder of famous Canadian grocery chain, Stedman’s.

Oprah once shared beef Jerky with Ben Roethlisberger in the men’s room of a Georgia deli.

She kicked John Tesh out of their Memphis love nest when Tesh played a new composition for her, which she told Tesh was “space aged white-assed crap, which made me lose what little respect I had for you.”

She sang back-up for Sly and the Family Stone

fluffincolorLarry King, the famous talk guy with the infamous breath, is on the divorce train for the eight time. Rumour is that King, 76, was stepping out with 50 year old Shawn Southwick’s sister. And that he didn’t have a pre-nup.

Ouch! This ones gonna hurt Larry.

fluffincolorDoctor House MD, AKA Hugh Laurie, has gotten himself a record deal with Warner records. Laurie is a talented musician and muti-instrumentalist, as well as leader of the Band from TV.

Expect to hear some House-Music™ sometime in the fall.

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Conciliatory Gesture Friday

April 16th, 2010
Comments Off on Conciliatory Gesture Friday

If the President can pull this one off, I’m on board.


Healtcare… Carbon Trading… Stimulus… a man has to have priorities.


Note the sign in the background: “read Atlas Shrugged.” Methinks this picture might be from a tea-party rally.

Politics American Style, Rockin' and Rollin' and Never Forgettin' , , ,

In Dalton McGuinty’s Ontario…

April 15th, 2010


The last time I wrote an In Dalton McGuinty’s Ontario post, it was about Rahim Jaffer’s plea from impaired driving and possession of cocaine to careless driving. One commentator took me mildly, and fairly, to task:

What the fu- does this have to do with McGuinty? You are seriously reaching dude.

I thought hard before attaching that story to the “In Dalton McGuinty’s Ontario…” meme. I was not, as anon suggested, trying to tie the story directly to McGuinty. However, there is a culture in Ontario justice that I felt was at play here. It was Dalton’s Police force, lead by Dalton’s hand picked chief, that charged Jaffer. It was Dalton’s crown who decided there was no chance at conviction:

According to sources close to the case, police made two fateful decisions: repeatedly denying Jaffer access to his own lawyers and a strip search after he was pulled over on a rural road on Sept. 11 in the southern Ontario community of Palgrave, northwest of Toronto…

A so-called “blow test… came up positive.

[OPP officer Kim] Stapleton handcuffed the former rising star of the Conservative Party and placed him in her cruiser… she then went back to the Ford Escape and grabbed Jaffer’s sport jacket from the passenger seat.

She noticed a bag inside one of the pockets — what would later be determined to be about a gram of cocaine… for which possession is a federal crime…

He tried to contact two lawyers in Calgary, but couldn’t reach them and left a message…

Midway through the test, one of Jaffer’s Calgary lawyers called the detachment several times but was told he must wait because the breathalyzer was being administered… The second lawyer also returned Jaffer’s call in that time and was told it was too late… legal experts say he should have been given the opportunity to speak to counsel of his choice…

Shortly after the breathalyzer, police made another key decision: to strip search the former MP, an act [Toronto defence lawyer Scott] Cowan argues wasn’t “defensible at all” in the Jaffer case.

The Dalton’s Ontario tag is meant to catalogue issues that arise in Ontario, not necessarily that are a direct link to Dalton McGuinty, but which can, I think, be attributable to the culture which McGuinty is harvesting in Ontario. McGuinty wears this case because his police force screwed up, his crowns don’t have the guts/resources to try cases that hinge on a technicality (note the complete lack of suggestion that Jaffer was not a)drunk b)in possesion of the cocaine).

The truth is Jaffer got off because he had the phone number of two lawyers at his disposal. Anybody wealthy enough or who has worked in legal and political circles has an inherent advantage. And that’s not about to change as long as it is, Dalton McGuinty’s Ontario.

In Dalton McGuinty’s Ontario… , ,

Parrish the Thought

April 15th, 2010

“You appeared ungrateful, ungracious and downright rude,” Ms. Parrish told the Mayor 

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The Audacity of the Marathon of Hope

April 12th, 2010

I remember seeing a news report back on April 12, 1980: some young fellow from British Columbia, who had an amputated leg due to cancer, was beginning a run across Canada. His goal was to raise money for cancer research, and awareness about cancer. He had the modest goal of raising one dollar for every Canadian. Twenty-four-million dollars. It wasn’t a news story, it was a human interest story about a young man nobody outside of  Port Coquitlam BC had ever heard of. Terry Fox dipped the toe of his shoe, attached to a metal leg, into the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Newfoundland.

Three months later Terry Fox hobbled up Queen Street (Hwy. 7) in Brampton in his own unique way. Thousands of people lined the route, including a sixteen year old produce clerk at the nearby Food City. I should have been working, of course, but nobody was. If you wanted customer service that day, you were going to have to wait while the young sensation ran past. He was no longer unknown, and he was well on his way to far exceeding his goal. Awareness and money were very much raised.

Six weeks later it was all over. Terry Fox ended his Marathon of Hope that began thirty-years ago today in Newfoundland. This time it wasn’t a human interest story, but the lead news item: Cancer had returned to Terry Fox, the Marathon ended by the side of the road in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

In the classic hero narrative, there is always a journey the hero must take, a quest. Part of his journey is a descent into hell, and then a return, a rising to greatness. Losing his leg to cancer as a teen, it’s not hard to imagine Terry Fox’s descent, and thirty-years ago today, 21-year old Terry Fox took his first, tentative, soggy steps on his rise to greatness: a true Canadian hero; a remarkable young man; and a breathtaking journey.

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April 12th, 2010

magnoliaand the living is easy.

The signs are all around. The Masters is over and, thankfully, Tiger Woods didn’t win. The magnolias in bloom at Augusta always remind me that my own magnolia will bloom in the next week. The garden, in fact, is in half bloom this afternoon, the beginning of a summer of colour and flavour coming out of the very ground I own.

But summer really starts when those boys of summer get around to throwing a baseball in anger, hitting one with authority. Tonight, the 5-1, first place Toronto Blue Jays return to the Wok by the lake to begin the 2010 home season.

Go get em boys, and thanks for bringing summer with you.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: The Penis Edition: Big Ones, Loud Ones; Thumping Around Ones

April 10th, 2010

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorSinger Ricky Martin, long rumoured to be gay, last week announced he was… gay.brighams-fluffernutter-761079

In a statement on his website, Martin said week:

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

No real surprise, I can’t listen to Livin’ La Vida Loca without feeling gay, never mind singing it every night.

fluffincolorSixteen year old singing sensation/tweener heartthrob Justin Beiber commented to People magazine this week about President Barack Obama mis-pronouncing his name at Beiber’s first visit to the White House last year:

He messed up my name, but I give it to him. He’s not (the) age category I sing to. He’s not “one less lonely girl”.

I would have preferred if he had said, “Dude. You can pronounce Netanyahu, but you can’t get Bee-ber? Put it on the teleprompter and get it right next time.” However, the “it’s more than I expect from some old, square guy,” routine that he went with was good too.

fluffincolorLife and Style magazine has gone undercover to find out, which Hollywood big shots have big shooters. The big men about town, in no particular order, we hope, are: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette, David Spade, Jamie Kennedy, Brian Austen Green, Jaret Leto and Andy Dick.

Noticeably absent from the list is any of those Hollywood loudmouth types (DiCaprio excepted) like Sean Penn or Matt Damon, proving once again, guys with big dicks don’t have to go around acting like they have big dicks.

fluffincolorFrom the Department of Segues shania-twain-2-240I never thought I’d use: speaking of Penises (penisi?), Mutt Lange’s ex-wife (a very quiet guy if your ever looking for one) Shania Twain is back in the public eye, causing millions of penisi world-wide top thump around in excitement, “I was in a very deep, dark slump, and I needed to find a way to get myself out of it,” Twain told People, causing thousands of those penises to explode.

fluffincolorMalcolm McLaren (1946-2010) – In 1976 Malcolm McLaren took a band he was managing and replaced first the bass player, then added a singer. The singer, who would audition for McLaren miming to an Alice Cooper song wearing an I hate Pink Floyd short (the words written on after the fact), changed his name to Johnny Rotten, the band to the Sex Pistols. They would stay together two years, scandalising Britain with their celebration of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee with their version of God Save the Queen (She ain’t a human bein’).

The Sex Pistols broke up on their first American tour, and McLaren would go on to break up Adam and the Ants, and regroup them as Bow Wow Wow and Adam Ant. He also had a lengthy music career of his own, begining with 1983’s Duck Walk.

McLaren died this week, aged 64, after a battle with the rare form of cancer, malignant mesothelioma.

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Today’s News: In Order of Importance

April 6th, 2010

Listening to the adult contemporary station on the drive into work today (not my choice of station, I was a passenger). Here was the top stories, in order:

Tiger woods says he’s sorry.

Twenty-five men dead in a mining accident.


Media doesn't matter

Rex on Rights

April 3rd, 2010

Rex Murphy occasionally is way off base, such as his clobbering a few weeks ago of Christopher Hitchens, which had the gross effect of sounding like Murphy was not too upset about a bunch of pedophile priests, but dear God!, don’t you speak ill of my Pope.

This week in the National Post he has a go at the Human Rights industry in Canada, and knocks it out of the park:

By some crude osmosis, or just from the luxuriant carelessness of our pampered lives, we have overturned one of the great concepts of all human law. The concept of human rights, as experience and history inform us, is protection from the state’s power, not oversight, interference and punishment by the state’s power.

The core concept of human rights is the protection of the irreducible safety and dignity of the individual from the massive and arbitrary power of the state. Not, the state wandering in, with its apparatus and procedures, its boards and tribunals into the doings, or speech, of the individual…

Be sure to read the whole thing.


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