At Home in Hespeler

This week I am doing this a little different as it is my 15th anniversary. I have tried to express in this feature how music is an important, vital part if my life. This holds true in my marriage as well. My wife is a great music lover and has said my passion for it is one of the things that attracted her to me in the first place. A couple of years ago on her birthday, my wife’s one request was a dance on the patio: it’s romantic or something. So this year for our anniversary, I offer the following dance on our virtual patio.

Any talk of anniversary music must begin with our first dance. We struggled to come up with the perfect song, and were having no luck. Then we saw an episode of the Wonder Years, where Kevin and Winnie have there first kiss, and they played an Elton John song called Seasons, from his album the soundtrack from the movie Friends:

For our world, the circle turns again
Throughout the year we’ve seen the seasons change
It’s meant a lot to me to start anew
Oh the winter’s cold but I’m so warm with you

Out there there’s not a sound to be heard
And the seasons seem to sleep upon their words
As the waters freeze up with the summer’s end

Oh it’s funny how young lovers start as friends
Yes it’s funny how young lovers start as friends

It was perfect and we went to some trouble to make it work perfectly, editing the orchestral section for brevity, even finding the song took some work. Nobody cared, nobody listened but it was without question a special song to us. We still have the cassette with the edited version on it, and have played it for our kids, to great yawning indifference.

But through the years other songs have taken prominence, probably too many to mention here. But the last few years when she has a yearning for some romance and asks me to dance on the deck, always the music is my part of the responsibility. What the neighbor’s think when they look outside their kitchen window and see us fools dancing I have never heard, nor do I really care. But for our anniversary, if she wants a dance, this is my choice of music:

Shania Twain – You’re Still The One. Not the old Orleans song, but the far more modern Shania song. I’m not a big country fan, and neither is she, but Shania Twain isn’t bad. Our daughter is a fan so we have her Greatest Hits around, and I always think of my wife when I hear this song:

Looks like we made it
look how far we’ve come my baby.
We might have took the long way,
We knew we’d get there some day
They said, I bet, they’ll never make it
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together still going strong.

Still the One
Still the one I run too
The one that I belong too
Still the one I want for Life
Still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
Still the one I kiss goodnight

Ain’t nothin’ better
we beat the odds together
I’m glad we didn’t listen
look at what we’d be missin’

Can you beat those lyrics to sing to your lady or man? Especially when they are true. And for my wife let me say, you are Still the one.

Next up is some Dave Matthews Band from his latest album Stand Up. There’s a few lines on the song Dream Girl that are so appropriate:

You’re my best friend
And after a good, good drunk
You and me wake up and make love after a deep sleep
Where I was Dreamin’, I was Dreamin’ of a
Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl, Dreamgirl

I was feelin’ like a creep
As I watched you asleep
Face down in the grass,
in the park, in the middle
of a hot afternoon
Your top was untied
And I thought how nice
It’d be to follow the sweat down your spine

But that’s not the song of choice here. For this dance, I choose Steady as We Go.

I’ll walk halfway around the world
Just to sit down by your side
And I would do most anything, girl
To be the apple of your eye
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they’re the gold
And if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

Any place you wanna go
Know I’ll be next to you
If it’s treasure, baby, you’re looking for
I’ll search the whole world through
I know troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they’re the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

So if your heart wrings dry, my love
I will fill your cup
And if your load gets heavy, girl
I will lift you up
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times be the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

The sentiment is syrupy, but true. After all, how do you survive 15 years of marriage? Steady As We Go.

When the storm comes down you shelter me
When I don’t say a word and you know exactly what i mean
In the darkest times, oh, you shine on me
You set me free and keep me steady as we go

It’s simple sentiment, but honest. If not Steady As We Go, I would replace it with John Hiatt’s Have A Little Faith in Me, the Delbert McCLinton version:

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me
And

And when your back’s against the wall
Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me

That’s what we have done all these years, have faith in each other and it has never let us down. This one would usually be higher on this list, except it’s old to us, so down she goes.

Finally, I offer The Temptations Sugar Pie Honey Bunch because it’s an anniversary, not a funeral, and what’s wrong with having a little fun on our anniversary?

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else…

‘Cause, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch
I’m weaker than a man should be
I can’t help myself
I’m a fool in love ‘ya see

Besides, she married me, and fell in love with me, when there was more playful child than man ready to take on the challenges of family life about me. Doesn’t she deserve that guy once in a while?

So there it is. If my neighbours read this wonder no more, we are dancing. And sometime this week, next week or next month we will no doubt be doing so again. I’m sure you’ll find the soundtrack familiar.

This Week on my I-Pod

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The guy beside him is drunk as a skunk and crying. “Hey fella, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“I got my girlfriend pregnant,” he says “and her Dad brought out his shotgun and said either I marry her, or I go to jail for 15 years.”

“Oh, that’s bad” says the man.

“You don’t know the half of it. Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary… I would have been free!”

Happy Anniversary honey, I don’t know how you managed to get us here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If I had to do it all over again, I would still choose you!

We’ll be in New York for the weekend. With luck I will be posting a special This Week on my MP3 on Sunday, otherwise I’m shutting it down until Tuesday or Wednesday!

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Condolences to the family and friends of Pat Marsden, who passed away this morning due to lung cancer. He was 69 years old, and leaves a wife T.A. and 2 young kids, as well as three adult children from a previous marriage.

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I try and stay away from issues military, mostly because I have a remarkable ignorance about things military. In fact, the main reason I brought Ron aboard was to have someone around that has some knowledge in that area. So I have spent the past few days listening to the arguments pro and contra raising/lowering the flag and letting reporters on to CFB Borden for the Repatriation Ceremony. I have thought it through, try to separate the chaff from the wheat, and managed to form an opinion.The flag flap was the easier of the two. Quite clearly the military brass, members of the military and former members seem to concur that Remembrance Day is the appropriate time to lower the flags to half-staff in commemoration of members of our services who have been lost while in our service.

The question of reporters at the Repatriation Ceremony has been a bit trickier. My initial reaction was to disagree with the Prime Minister on this one. The media belong, journaling the event for us all. That was yesterday. I read in all the papers about how the media is always respectful at these events, how they wouldn’t dare turn it into some sort of circus.

While I was reading, the media were busy turning into a circus. Dear MSM: standing on ladders at the fence taking pictures with super-telescopic lenses is not respectful. It isn’t whenever Madonna gets married; it isn’t at a Repatriation Ceremony. After seeing the pictures of the media standing in a line on their ladders, on top of the news vans, is there any doubt they would have hired helicopters to flyover and shoot their pictures if it wasn’t restricted air space?

However, I was still unsure until I read this quote from Garth Turner: “It would appear to me that a lot of people want to participate in the grieving vicariously…”

Vicarious grieving has become a de-rigueur thing in the past fifteen or twenty years. Many say it started with Princess Diana, but it started long before that: it just climaxed into inglorious spectacle with the death of the Princess. Whether it’s the walls of teddy bears when a tragedy occurs involving a child, or the online signing of condolences whenever a tragically newsworthy event occurs, people all too often ” participate in the grieving vicariously.”

Frankly, if that’s what this is about, if all this newsprint is being expended because people can’t have a symbolic teddy bear mountain outside CFB Borden, then I say ban the media, arrest them when they show up with step-ladders, and execute them when they whine about lack of access.

Leave the families, and the forces with a little dignity, even if you won’t do so for the rest of us.

Update: I made the right call on this one.

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Once again, the military, and the deaths of soldiers are being exploited for the sake of political posturing. The (simulated) outrage from the Opposition parties regarding the government’s decision to return to the long-standing tradition of only lowering the Peace Tower flag on Nov.11 just makes me ill.

I find myself becoming increasingly irritated by the people who have been quoted on this subject who are simply using this as an opportunity to take a shot at the government or at our deployment in Afghanistan. I have had a couple of people at work try this with me and it becomes quickly obvious. They know nothing about Canada’s flag, military, or military history. A few basic questions soon shuts them up.

The parliament flag should only be lowered on Nov. 11 or to mark the passing of a prime minister or a senior member of the Royal family (head of state). Now, this is just my opinion and it really doesn’t carry that much weight.

You want an opinion that matters? Forget asking someone at Starbucks over a latte. Forget asking a politician, journalist or radio host. Go down to the Legion, or the retirement home, or the veteran’s wing in a hospital and ask around there. Go to your local armoury and ask there. These are the opinions that count!

Just because that particular flag is not lowered does not mean that the practice is not being observed. Flags at the relevant bases will be lowered. The soldiers’ hometowns will be marking their passing. This is how it should be, and how it has been until a couple of years ago.

If you are still not satisfied, why not make the strongest statement of all. All of you with front yards go out and get a flag and flagpole. Raise the flag, and if you wish lower it for the proper mourning period. Then raise it again. You don’t need someone else to make the statement for you.

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I have had a bunch of stuff in my mental filing cabinet for a spell now that I want to comment on, but can’t quite get out. Here’s the readers digest version of each:

Gas Prices – I have had half a report on this written since last week. I’m beginning to think you guys will never see it. Here’s a summation:

Stephen Harper’s response to this so far has been, simply put, not good enough. It is a serious problem being faced by all us hockey moms and dads who have to drive our own limo’s to the games. He has shouted long and loud about tax relief at the pumps in the past and, although he never promised it in the election, it wouldn’t be hard to make it look like a broken promise.

In fairness, without a budget there’s nothing real to complain about, yet. However, if there is no gas tax relief in the May 2nd budget – look out. This one could be a killer (unless Bob Rae wins the Liberal leadership).

Bob Rae – He is actually doing it, running for the Liberal leadership. I have a hundred jokes and I can’t use any of them because the thought of PM Bob Rae scares the hell out of me – I hate to use that over used ‘he’s scary’ claim, but I lived through the Rae years in Ontario. It was THAT bad.

How bad?. Ontario, which is so leery about Stephen Harper voted for Mike Harris, twice. I offer the following commercials free of charge to the Conservative Party of Canada should Rae win the Liberal leadership (OK, a shiny new laptop, and a crackberry would be welcomed): Start with the Liberal Mike Harris ads, that dark scary picture, same-ish voice over.”Remember Mike Harris? Remember the strife, the days of action, the illegal teacher’s strikes &tc.? Now, remember why you voted for Mike Harris.” Picture changes to a similar toned one of Bob Rae. “The welfare rates, the massive taxation, the staggering debt, the jobs fleeing Ontario, Rae days, days of action &tc.”

Scott Brison: From the National Post today:

“Scott Brison hasn’t got a hope,” Mr Wiseman (Nelson Wiseman, political Science Professor at University of Toronto) said in an interview. “He doesn’t have a history in the Liberal Party, he’s part of the last government… and also of course there’s the income trust thing.”

More importantly, there’s the French thing never forget the French thing! Oh, and the arrogance thing. Never, ever forget the arrogance thing!!”

As a Conservative I am sad to say I agree with Mr. Wiseman, Scott Brison doesn’t stand a chance.

The Senate – Does anybody else think this whole Senate is going to block the accountability act too much? Let me get this one straight: