At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“Do you know who I am?”

It is the second worse line a celebrity can use in public. (the worst being, “if Anne Frank was alive today, she would be a nobody who comes to honour me.”)

Last weekend, Legally Blonde, and technically very cute, Reese Witherspoon got into some trouble with police in Georgia after asking the officer involved, “Do you know my name?” After advising Witherspoon that he’s sure it will be on the arrest sheet (it was), she said “You are about to find out who I am. You’re going to be on the national news.”

Witherspoon wound up with a disorderly conduct while her husband, Jim Toth, got a much more serious driving while intoxicated charge.

To her credit,Witherspoon the next day admitted she may have drank more than was strictly neccesary: “I clearly had one drink too many and i am deeply embarrassed about the things I said… I was disrespectful to the officer, who was just doing his job…”

Say what you want about Reese Witherspoon’s actions above, at least when she says “do you know who I am?” there’s a reasonable chance the answer is yes. Se is, after all, an A-list movie star.

Not so much Tara Reid, who pulled the “do you know who I am?” card in an LA clothing store this week (actually no, who are you? – ed). Reid, who apparently was in some movie ten years ago, was shopping at All Saints when she reportedly freaked out because, get this, she was asked to pay full price.

“Tara gets a huge discount with All Saints in the UK and Paris because she’s a walking billboard (oh, is that what they’re calling it these days – ed),” her people said. While her reps dispute that Reid was drunk and/or obnoxious while in the store, there seems to be no dispute she’s an egomaniacal cheapskate.

Then there’s Sandra Bullock. Bullock’s new movie, The Heat, is a cop movie based in Boston. Bullock plays an FBI agent sent to work on a case alongside a Local Boston cop, played by Melissa McCarthy.

Producers of The Heat have decided to host a special screening in Boston for emergency workers affected by the Boston Marathon bombing.

“I don’t think a screening would ever be enough (or) feel like it’s enough to do for them,”  the classy Bullock said.

See ladies, that’s how it’s done.

Here’s a shock headline:

Drugs, stun gun found on empty Justin Bieber tour bus by Swedish police.

Am I the only one whose first reaction was, the Swedish care if you have drugs on your bus?

Swedish police raided the bus during the Beib’s concert Wednesday, after smelling marijuana outside the bus during the day. No charges have been laid, and the drug found has not been reported, but as they smelled marijuana, and it’s Beiber’s bus, certain assumptions can be made.

This from the stories with a faint stench about them file: Country singer Billy Currington was indicted in Georgia on Wednesday for “threatening bodily harm to a man older than 65,” and making terroristic threats.

This seems to stem from a dispute with a charter boat operator who runs out of a pier near Currington’s lakeside home. The boat operator, Charles Harvey Ferrelle, says Currington jumped in his own boat and chased Ferrelle around, yelling and taking pictures.

Currington is, for his part, saying not much, but implied on twitter that Ferrelle was taking customers by his house intentionally, so that they could take pictures.

Ritchie Havens (1941-2013)

At 5:00 on Friday August 15th, 1969, Ritchie Havens stepped on the stage in Bethel NY to perform 4 songs to open Woodstock. Anywhere between 45-minutes and 2-and-a-half hours later, Havens left the stage having, according Havens, played every song he knows, including Happy Birthday and some Christmas carols. According to legend, Havens was an unexpected hit with the audience, and all of the other bands where stuck in traffic trying to get to the show, so organizers asked him to keep playing.

Havens was a working musician all his life, announcing his retirement from touring after 45-years in March, 2012. This week, Ritchie Havens died suddenly of a heart attack, age 72. May he Rest in Peace

Fluffernutter, Saturday Morning Coffee Billy Currington, Justin Beiber, Reese Witherspoon, Ritchie Havens, Sandra Bullock, Tara Reid

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Justin Beiber’s disastrous week in London ended in the style in which it was lived. Apparently his erratic behavior was caused by overwork: “I was working out every morning and had a huge show every night.”

He’s 21, and a morning in the gym, and 2-hours of dancing in the evening is too grueling? What the hell happened to the youth.

Meanwhile, the Beiber’s are complaining Justin had to have his 21st birthday without his family being present. This from his mother’s twitter account:

First bday I’m not with you! Miss u like crazy.

Beiber himself said of his week in London, “I’m far away from home. I miss my family.

How rock star of him.

On top of that which we covered last week, Beiber’s Big Week ended with a shouting match with a paparazzi last Friday, challenging the photographer to a fight. Beiber, leaving his hotel, pushed the photographer out of the way. When the photographer complained, Beiber charged at him, yelling,

What the fuck did you say? What did you say? I’m gonna fucking beat the fuck out of you.

A couple of days earlier his pal, the rapper Lil Twist ( seriously?) crashed the Beib’s Fisker Karma car into a lamp post in LA. This after getting a ticket a week earlier for illegally tinted windows.

After leaving London, Beiber cancelled a concert in Portugal on Tuesday, citing his rough week.

Crashing cars and fighting is very rock star: threatening to fight without doing so, having somebody else crash your car and canceling concerts? I repeat, what’s wrong with kids, and “rock” stars, these days?

Best part of the Week of Beiber was Olivia Wilde tweeting, “Beiber, put your fucking shirt on…” The tweet got a reaction, but not the one she was expecting – Beiber’s fans flooded her twitter feed with angry abuse.

Sadly, Wilde has now backtracked a little, saying she tweeted out of concern for Beiber. Truth be told, I would respect her far more if she responded by saying, “sorry, what I meant to say was, pull up your pants, you look like a moron.”

Gweneth Paltrow has it all, looks, wealth, fame, perfect family and pretentiously high self-esteem that borders on narcissistic. In her new cookbook, the actress recounts a story of serving a meal to friends in the garden of her London home when she suddenly fell ill. She thought she was having a stroke and “that I was going to die.” Doctors later diagnosed her with a migraine and a panic attack. Because panic attacks are just like strokes.

Oh and, can’t wait to try that recipe.

Fluffernutter Fisker Karma, Gweneth Paltrow, Justin Beiber, Lil Twist, Olivia Wilde

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Bad week for the Beib. After a number of mini scandals, such as showing up at his hotel shirtless (and pants around his thighs, savant like), getting kicked out of a London Hotel for trying to sneak underage friends in to his 19th birthday party and showing late for a concert, Justin Beiber took to twitter to spout off. He comes off sounding like a spoiled brat, upset by all the good fortune that has befallen him.

“… judge me on the facts, judge me on the music…” tweeted the twit. OK, I’ll bite: the fact is, your music sucks.

Now, tweet off, and take your bad haircut and low hanging pants with you.

Kevin “Elmo” Clash, puppeteer and accused child diddler, has asked that three complaints of inappropriate sexual conduct be thrown out of court. His lawyers filed a motion last Friday in Manhattan asking the complaints be dismissed due to statute of limitations having expired.

Because nothing says not guilty like a technicality. Let’s hope the judge says no, and either the three now adult men or Clash can have their day in court.

From the quality = repetition file:

Fresh off her Oscar for singing the James Bond theme Skyfall, Adele has been contracted to do the theme song for…. the next Bond film.

Canadian Rap-tor Drake caused a stir this week when he dropped, literally, $50,000 at a Charlotte strip club.

The entertainer apparently showed at the Cameo nightclub with his posse and “Basketball Wives LA star” (that’s a joke, surely) Draya Michelle. According to TMZ, Drake pulled out a box of cash and made it rain money inside the club. Pictures from the club show patrons standing in an inch of dollar bills.

Canadians, who claim Drake as their own, are left wondering, where did we go wrong? And why doesn’t he blow that $50,000 somewhere locally, like say, the Airport Strip?

Justin Beiber update. Beiber passed out after his London show Thursday, and was taken to hospital for observation.

We know this because he tweeted a picture of him lying in a hospital bed… shirtless and with the sheets low enough to show an inch of underwear. Sigh.

Oh, oh, trouble at Boy Scout camp. Canadian “singer” Carly Rae Jepsen has pulled out from performing at the National Summer Jamboree in West Virginia this July. Jepsen is upset about the Boy Scouts position on gay rights, which is they are not 100% all in for them, and has cancelled the previously agreed to performance. While Jepsen is big on gay rights, her concept of contractual obligation seems to leave something to be desired.

The real question is, however, what is the Boy Scouts doing booking a 27-year old who dresses like a slutty school girl?

Very bad news this week from TV’s Rhoda, Valerie Harper. Harper has announced she has terminal brain cancer, with months left to live.

Harper played Mary Tyler Moore’s neighbour, Rhoda for four years, before moving on to her own show for another five years. In 2009 Harper was diagnosed with lung cancer. The new diagnosis is for “leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, a rare condition that occurs when cancer cells spread into the fluid-filled membrane surrounding the brain.”

Stompin’ Tom Connors (1936-2013).

Canadian music icon Stompin’ Tom Connors passed this week at his home in Peterborough. Connors was a true folk singer, writing and performing songs about average people and small Canadian towns. He accompanied himself by stomping his booted foot on a piece of plywood, hence the sobriquet “Stompin'”

Connors, who was born in Newfoundland, raised in PEI and spent the majority of his adult life living in Ontario, was a strongly Canadian patriot. Connors was 77-years old and died of natural causes. He left a message for his fans, written in his last days which was posted on his website after his passing.

Fluffernutter Adele, Carly Rae Jepsen, Drake, elmo, James Bond, Justin Beiber, Kevin Clash, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Skyfall, Stompin' Tom, Valerie Harper

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Christmas Miracle, some are calling it. Gone off his bloody meds again, others whisper.

London’s infamous “tight fisted hand at the grindstone,” of whom it is said blind man’s dogs avoid, has had an apparent overnight transformation. Last heard mumbling over a bowl of gruel in front of the fire about underdone potatoes and gravy, Ebenezer Scrooge himself woke up recently dancing in his nightshirt and yelling at passing children to “go and fetch the prize turkey.”

The Beadle had to be called when he attacked Mrs. Dilber, the washing woman, in the stairwell, but as no actual harm had come and a promise of money, plus higher wages was given, all was forgiven.

While some suspect his clerk had slipped a nip of “the best gin punch in all of London,” into Scrooge’s broth bowl, others that his Nephew Fred rattled him the day before offering Christmas greetings. Either way, he’s become a bloody nuisance and there is talk of boiling him in his own pudding if he doesn’t knock off the “Christmas the whole year long” routine.

Scandal is brewing in Bedford Falls, NY, as the manager of the Savings and Loan is about to be indicted for misappropriation of funds. It appears something in the neighbourhood of $3,000 was unaccounted for when the bank inspector arrived for a surprise accounting. Local banker, and board member of the S&L, Henry Potter, has sworn out a complaint for the arrest of George Bailey, manager of the business that has been owned and operated by his family for 2 generations.

Bailey has cut and run, getting into a bar fight before crashing his car into a large tree not far from the waterfall. A Christmas Eve fundraiser put on by Mary Bailey, George’s wife, is being held at the Bailey house. All are invited.

Ya! for Hohman Indiana’s saviour, Ralphie Parker.

Local bad guy, and his marauding horde, Black Bart, recently attempted to maraud on the Parker household. The young hero Ralphie fought them off with some dead-eye shooting with his Red Ryder Carbine Action, Range Model Air Rifle, with a compass on the stock and a thing that tells time.

Black Bart rode off after the encounter vowing to return, but left his horde behind, unconscious and seeing little birds, so a return seems unlikely anytime soon.

Oh, oh, Christmas Eve in the slammer for The ElfMan. Buddy Hobbes is the six- foot tall man/elf who recently learned he’s not really and elf, but a human. He journeyed through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, through the sea of curly, twirly gum drops and walked through the Lincoln Tunnel, arriving in New York hoping to find his real father.

While working at Gimbel’s Department Store, Buddy spotted the store Santa, and accused him of being a fake. After accusing the Santa of sitting on, “a throne of lies,” Santa attacked. The ensuing melee caused carnage at the store, resulting in arrest and banishment from Gimbel’s for both Buddy and Santa.

After being bailed out, it is rumoured that Buddy went nightclubbing with Lindsay Lohan.

Christmas, Fluffernutter Christmas Carol, Elf, George Bailey, Ralph Parker, Scrooge

Ho-Ho-Ho: Go Helix Go!

Cool For Cats, Fluffernutter Helix, Leafs, Toronto Maple Leafs

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

It was Led Zeppelin weekend in Washington as the band, along with David Letterman and Buddy Guy among others, were honoured at the Kennedy Center for the Arts Honors Gala.

In his speech at the White House gala, President Obama cited their wild lifestyle, noting there where 3 inch windows and secret service around the room. “The artwork is expensive guys,” he noted with a laugh.

The next night, the surviving members of what Jack Black called “the best rock band ever,” did something they have never done, gone on an American television show. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones paid a visit to fellow Kennedy Center honoree David Letterman’s late night talk show. While they didn’t play on the show, they did chat with Dave for almost 12 minutes.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame finally gets one right. After inducting The Beasty Boys, Blondie and Run-D.M.C., the hall has inducted Canadian rock legends Rush.

The members of Rush are said to be very pleased, with singer/bassist/keyboardist/chicken roaster Geddy Lee telling Rolling Stone, “it made my mom happy, so that’s worth it.” Woah with the big head there Geddy.

I’d say the Rock and Roll Hall finally had it’s act together if they wen’t also inducting Donna Summer and Public Enemy while the guys in Kiss and Deep Purple have to pay $22 to get in just like the rest of us.

And while we’re at it, any self respecting Rock Hall would lose the ‘and’ and go with Rock’N’Roll Hall of Fame.

Also inducted in the class of 2013 are Heart, Randy Newman, Albert King, Lou Adler and Quincy Jones.

It’s been a tough week for that Korean guy you had never heard of his time last month, Psy. Not expecting U.S. fame to come upon him in this lifetime, the rapping, dancing phenom was caught out when a ten-year old video of him bashing the U.S. surfaced. Since, other video’s of the rapper at anti-U.S. events have also come to light.

He has apologized and made his excuses and, lets face it calling for the death of American citizens isn’t exactly supporting traditional marriage, so all is forgiven and he met with President Obama this week.

Meanwhile in Ireland, a 46-year old father of 3, Eamonn Kilbride, suffered a heart attack while doing the singers “Gangnam Style” dance moves at his wife’s birthday party.

Speaking as an Irishman in his late-40’s, we shouldn’t be doing any style dance moves, let along aerobic Gangnam Style ones. I suppose, however, the Guinness and whiskey wants what the Guinness and whiskey wants…

Miley Cyrus seems to have left childhood in her rear view mirror. Last Saturday she appeared as a special guest at dubstep DJ Borgore’s Christmas Creampies show in Los Angeles.

Cyrus had a marine haircut (after cutting off her hair a few months ago), wore a somewhat revealing crop top, skin tight pants and thigh high leopard print boots. While Cyrus performed her new song Decisions, a stripper in thong and nipple covers was dancing on a pole beside her.

No word on which hospital daddy Billy Ray was taken too after having a coronary, but we’re reasonably sure he was.

Eh Tu Anne?

Anne Hathaway’s new movie, Les Miserables, was premiered at Manhattan’s Ziegfeld Theatre in New York last weekend. Arriving via limo, Hathaway, dressed in a side slit gothic dress, accidentally revealed her underwear choice for the evening.

Unfortunately for Anne, like Britney, Lindsay and Paris before her, her underwear choice was not to wear any

Actor Frankie Muniz, Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle amongst other teen roles in the early oh-ohs, suffered a mini-stroke while riding his motorbike last week. He was riding in Phoenix when he went numb, blind and lost his ability to speak (no word on whether he could suddenly play a mean pinball):

I couldn’t say words I thought I was saying them and my fiancee was looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

To be sure I’m being clear, let me restate: Frankie Muniz, teen star of ten years ago, 26 years old, had a stroke this week.
The Superbowl! Manly men pounding each other, beer, chicken wings and chili. More beer. Add in some half-time entertainment and you own the 35+ male demographic for a Sunday night. You can almost hear the planners discussing the half-time entertainment: “we’ve done The Who, Springsteen, The Stones. Who’s next? Led Zeppelin? They won’t come. AC/DC? Aerosmith? Bob Seger?

Beyonce? A-ha! Those 50-year old men will love that.

As part of a $50-million deal with Pepsi that will see the Cola maker own Beyonce in a sponsorship sense, Beyonce will headline the Pepsi sponsored half-time show at the years Superbowl in New Orleans.

The NFL better hope it’s a close game or they’ll lose their audience for the second half.

And so it comes to this. A&E was once truly an arts based station with quality programming. Now? It’s being sued by Dave Hestor, “star” of Storage Wars, for $750,000.

Hestor, a former cast member of the “buy a locker and overprice the goods for the camera” show, is complaining in a lawsuit that the show was rigged. According to the lawsuit, the show’s producers would regularly hide “valuable and unusual effects to add effect.” While I’m not sure what a valuable effect is, the bottom line is the producers are salting the lockers. Or, as the lawsuit puts it, “nearly every aspect of the show is faked.”

If you run a TV network, here’s a good rule of thumb. Lie down with the greediest half dozen people you can find, you’ll wind up in court, guaranteed.

Ravi Shankar (1920-2012)

In the 60’s rock fans and musicians raced to sit at the feet of sitar player Ravi Shankar after George Harrison took lessons from Shankar and then used the sitar in the hit song Norwegian Wood. Soon, Brian Jones would have one, and The Animals and The Byrds would be using a sitar in songs.

Shankar performed at Woodstock, collaborated with Jean-Pierre Rampal and John Coltrane and is father to Grammy winning singer-songwriter Norah Jones. His influence on rock and pop music, and in bringing Eastern music to Western ears is immeasurable. Upon his death this week, Indian Prime Minister Monmohan Singh called him a National Treasure.

Shankar died this week in Southern California. He had upper respiratory and heart problems after having heart valve replacement surgery last week. He was 92.

May he Rest in Peace.

Fluffernutter Anne Hathaway, Beyonce, Borgore, Dave Hestor, Frankie Muniz, Gangnam Style, Heart, Les Miserables, Miley Cyrus, Psy, Ravi Shankar, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Rush, Storage Wars

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Jaimie Foxx, courageous artist speaking truth to power:

Last Sunday at the Soul Train Awards fox said, “… give an honour to God and our Lord and Saviour, Barack Obama.”

Foxx, being not much brighter than the average bear, is now shocked, shocked! to discover these remarks are deemed controversial by Christians. Instead of complaining, or wittily noting that Obama is indeed miraculous if “he did succeed in convincing Jaimie Foxx… that God does exist,” they should lighten up, says Foxx, who no doubt will be nice and light if he’s referred to with a racial epithet during the next Catholic Music Awards.

Next time maybe Foxx can be truly courageous and say, “praise be to the prophet Barack Obama, peace be upon him,” and learn what uptight religious guys really look like

Yea, that’ll happen.

Jaimie Foxx has nothing on Justin Beiber when it comes to political scandal. Beiber, in Toronto last weekend to perform at the Grey Cup – itself not a move without controversy – had an official meet and greet with Prime Minister Stephen Harper (or is that, Prime Minister Harper had a photo-op with Justin Beiber? ed.)

Problem is, The Beeb wore coveralls, with one shoulder strap undone, street style, for the meetup. Scandal! Disgrace! A man should dress appropriately to meet the Prime Minister. I disagree. If your meeting Justin Beiber, you look like a tool in a suit, period. Prime Minister Harper, as Jaimie Foxx would no doubt tell him, needs to lighten up in his dress.

No fan of Two and a Half Men am I. Whenever I mention it here I always describe it as a “sitcom,” complete with irony quotes. So when 19-year old Christian Angus T. Jones refers to it as “filth,” who am I to argue?

Problem is, Jones is the “half” of the Two and a Half Men playing Jake, since 2003. In a YouTube video, Jones calls himself a “paid hypocrite”, the show “filth” and suggests people shouldn’t watch it.

A-men brother, I say. However, Jones has no actual intention to, say, quit the show, and has issued something of an apology, saying:

I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked over the past ten years.
Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me…
I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed…

Lindsay Lohan is back on the Fluffernutter page. On Wednesday night she got into an altercation at a Manhattan nightclub with psychic Tiffany Mitchell.

Mitchell says she had a premonition about Lohan and wanted to do her reading, and Lohan then hauled off and nailed her one (or something like that). Lohan then referred to her by the apparently racial epithet of Gypsy. Why she didn’t have a premonition that Lohan was going to do that history does not record. Nonetheless, Lohan was taken away by police and spent a night in a Manhattan holding cell.

Lohan for her part says she did not punch her, but she did call her the name in question. The upcoming court case is likely to be lively as Mitchell has hired celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred and Lohan has hired a private detective to investigate claims Mitchell has a history of using “her ‘psychic abilities’ to extort money from people.”

There’s much at stake for Lohan, who is on probation for a California necklace pilfering case, and could be sent back to jail on that charge.

Fluffernutter Angus T. Jones, Chuck Lorre, Jaimie Foxx, Justin Beiber, Lindsay Lohan, Prime MInister Harper, Psychic, Tiffany Mitchell, Two and a Half Men

Sad to hear the news this morning that Jack bloody Duckworth, aka actor Bill Tarmey, has died in Tenerife.

Duckworth was a staple of Coronation Street for years, from the 1977 until they gave him a peaceful death in 2010, asleep in his armchair after celebrating his 74th birthday.

Tarmey, the actor himself, had health problems recently and passed away this morning. He was 71.

Cheers Mate

Saw Skyfall Wednesday night. Only thing I can tell anyone is, go see it. The girls will love shirtless Daniel Craig, and he is often shirtless, new Bond fans will love the action and for us classic Bond lovers, Craig pulls the old Goldfinger Aston Martin DB5 (and threatens to eject M) and by movies end returns the franchise right back to Dr. No.

In other words, go see it. Now. Stop reading and go.

Fluffernutter Bill Tarmey, Coronation Street, Jack Duckworth, James Bond, Skyfall

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

This is, sans doubt, my favourite Fluffernutter story ever. EVER!

Last weekend in New Orleans Madonna was giving a concert when she decided to tell her paying audience what they needed to do:

I don’t care who you vote for, as long as it’s Obama

The crowds response was to boo, with some people walking out. Flustered, the “singer” immediately backtracked and asked if people were booing. She then went into some silliness about how fucked up America is, but how lucky they are because they have a democratic government &tc.

We need more of this. When singers, musicians et. al. start pontificating to their paying public, that public needs to let them know, we came to hear you sing.

Now here’s a question: how much trouble is the Obama campaign in when an endorsement gets booed in reliably Democrat New Orleans?

Because we like you, that is why…

Disney announced this week it is in negotiations to buy Lucasfilm inc., the production company of Star Wars filmmaker George Lucas. What this means in practical terms is a new Star Wars movie every 2-years, according to the people at Disney and Leah is now a Disney Princess and Darth Vader a Villian.

In short, the Disney Sore just became a much cooler place.

Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood is engaged once again. The twice married man that proves money trumps looks is engaged to theatre producer Sally Humphreys. Wood, who is 65 and looks twice that, has been dating 34-year old Humphreys for six months.

Proir to his relationship with the older woman, Woods left his long time wife for an 18-year old Russian model.

Fluffernutter Madonna, Ron Wood

A new James Bond Skyfall trailer was released yesterday:

Cool For Cats, Fluffernutter James Bond, Skyfall

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Anne Hathaway has tied the knot, marrying her man of more than four years, Adam Shulman, in a sunset wedding at Big Sur, California last Saturday.

Hathaway wore Valentino and when the minister asked if anybody had any reason to object to the marriage, the FBI did not stand up.

Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill also stepped across the aisle this weekend, marrying model Martha Patterson. The Leonic King and the bikini beauty hitched up in a rustic ceremony in Charlotte, Tennessee.

No word on whether there was a fireplace.

Returning to our regular programming, Lindsay Lohan was assaulted in her hotel room last weekend.

Lohan invited Christian LaBella back to her room after partying at 1 Oak Saturday night. She then discovered a number of pictures of her on his phone, and confronted him about the pictures. He attacked, and Lindsay pulled the fire alarm to bring in the police. Lohan received minor scratches and turned down medical help and LaBella was charged with 2 counts of assault and 2 counts of harassment.

While Lohan is the victim in this story, I’m reminded of Glenn Hughes response to being punched by a roadie in a hotel elevator in the wee hours:

“Normal people don’t get beaten up in hotels at four in the morning.”

Here’s a quiz. Pretend your a bookie, your job is to give out odds on events. There’s four people in a room, including Mariah Carey. One of those four people has a complete diva-like meltdown. What are the odds the meltdown was someone other than Carey?

Well, get ready to pay Mr. Vegas. TMZ posted video of American Idol tryouts from Charlotte. This year judges, in case you have a modicum of taste and simply don’t know or care, are Randy Jackson, Keith Urban, Nicki Manaj and Carey. In the video, Manaj is going completely off the handle, shouting and swearing at Carey: “I told them, I’m not fuckin’ putting up with her fuckin’ highness over there.”

Carey apparently argued back, with Urban, physically between the two, tried to calm things down.

Nicki Manaj with a superiority complex: now I’ve heard everything.

Fluffernutter Anne Hathaway, Christian LaBella, Glenn Hughes, Jared Followill, Keith Urban, Lindsay Lohan, Mariah Carey, Martha Patterson, Nicki Manaj, Randy Jackson

The people, Bond people, today released the new theme song for the latest Bond movie, Skyfall. The theme is sung by Adele and not just is reminiscent of themes like Goldfinger, it actually musically quotes them.

Skyfall is in theatres November 9th.

Fluffernutter, Friday Adele, James Bond, Skyfall

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Lindsay Lohan stepped in a pile of destiny-doo this week. First she asked of Amanda Bynes, “hey, how come I had to do time for my driving infractions, and she doesn’t?” Lohan, you will recall, got sentenced to 30 days of art lessons in her home for a variety of probation and drug violations after a series of in car incidences.

Lohan, not recalling all the 2nd chances she was given, wondered why the un-convicted Bynes didn’t suffer the same fate she did after convictions, missed hearings, probation violations and failed drug tests.

Lohan then went out and committed an act of karma, clipping a man in New York City. Lohan got out of her Porsche Cayenne SUV, checked for damage, and went into the club she was heading too without so much as a “sorry ’bout the inconvenience,” to the man with an unspecified knee injury.

Upon leaving Dream nightclub, Lohan was then arrested for leaving the scene of an accident.

If only Amanda Bynes had been in jail…

I’d like see the coyote eat the road runner.
And I’d like to see Kneievel blown to bits.
I’d like see Rex Humbard lay his hands upon Moly Bea.
But I’d love to see Kate Middleton’s …

From the Fiddle on Nero file, an act of war has been committed against a sovereign, as a French photographer took clandestine pictures of the future Queen of Britain and her realms, Kate Middleton. Middleton was sunbathing topless at a private chateau and, it must be said, had a very reasonable expectation of privacy.

The pictures were then published in a French magazine, and quickly thereafter to the internet, where a google search will turn them up pretty post haste.

William, who’s mother died being chased on the streets of Paris by paparazzi, was furious and the couple has filed suit. The photographer, meanwhile, is currently in hiding. From whom, we can’t quite figure, but at least it’s not from a mob named Mohammad.

True love always finds a way. So it is with Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the Twilight heart throbs who keep their teenage fans in a tizzy with their on-screen/off-screen romance.

A while back the off-screen portion of the romance ended when Stewart was found to be having an affair with Rupert Sanders, who is much older, married and director of her movie Snow White and the Huntsman. Heartbroken and humiliated, Pattinson dumped the unfaithful Stewart and moved out of their Hollywood “love-nest.”

This week, all is right with the world again as Pattinson and Stewart have reignited the flame of love and gotten back together.

On an unrelated note, their new movie together, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, is in theaters November 16th.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Kate Middleton, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

“There was no scandal: there was just sex” Josh Schmenge

So Heidi Klum and Seal hit the skids. In the usual nasty aftermath stage of a marriage, Seal proposed that Klum was acting scandalously with her longtime bodyguard, Martin Kristen. “Sleeping with the help,” was his unhelpful terminology.

“Hmph! No scandal here,” replied Klum.

This week she clarified her remarks: “What Josh Schmenge said.”

You gotta admire George Clooney, he’s had non-scandals with a number of beautiful women. His latest, model Stacy Keibler, may be the most beautiful, and by a long shot.

Last week a report emerged that they’re finished. A report that’s being denied by all concerned. Clooney’s people say their happy together, likewise Keibler’s. Which leads to the one important question:

are Keibler’s handlers her elfs?

Chris Brown has always been such a nice guy. Now he’s a nice guy with art.

Brown showed off a new tattoo on his neck this week, that looked like the beaten face of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna, whom he was convicted of assaulting a few years back.

“Oh no, no!” say’s Brown. “It’s art,” specifically a design of a skull for the Mexican celebration of the day of the dead. Well, maybe, but when you have beaten Rihanna, you need to be careful about tattooing dead/beaten faces on your neck.

Personally, I think neck tattoos mark you as dumb as a post, whoever it’s a beaten face of.

This story saddens me. Amanda Bynes was the cute, perky teen star who had an infectious enthusiasm. Now, she’s the worst driver in California.

In June she was arrested for DUI after a hit and run incident in April. Then last week she had yet another fender bender. Standing in front of his honour on Thursday, she was told point blank, stop driving without a license. So what do you do when the judge says, “don’t”?

For Bynes the answer is do!

Mere hours after being told stop driving already, she was in a fender bender, bumping a car while backing out of the parking lot. In fairness, paparazzi had surrounded her car and flash bulbs were popping, possibly making it hard for Bynes to actually see. But when the judge just finished saying don’t drive, it’s hard to blame the paparazzi for taking your picture driving.

Bynes needs to find a computer and google “Lindsay Lohan.” Surprising, really, that she hasn’t heard of Lohan before this.

Fluffernutter Amanda Bynes, Chris Brown, George Clooney, Heidi Klum, Josh Schmenge, Martin Kristen, Rihanna, Seal, Stacy Keibler

It’s been a big week for us Led Zeppelin fans, with an announcement of the 2007 reunion concert at the O2 arena being released on “multiple platforms,” meaning DVD, Bluray, CD and, hopefully, vinyl. Here’s the trailer for the movie, which will be at a theatre near you:

They are also showing the concert in theatres across the fruited plain. Here’s a widget to help you find a theatre near you.

In other news, the rumour mill is churning on George Clooney who, according to reports, has split from his ex-wrestler girlfriend Stacy Keibler. Clooney denies the reports.

Here’s the gorgeous Ms. Keibler at The Palladium Jewelry By Jacob & Co. Launch Celebration yesterday.

Fluffernutter, Friday Led Zeppelin, Stacy Keibler