At Home in Hespeler

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

Oh this is exciting. Hot off the news that Guy Ritchie is busy casting for a King Arthur movie comes word some movie execs are trying to put together a spy movie featuring all five former James Bonds.

Sean Connery (aka Sir), George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Bronson – ages ranging from 62-year old Bronson to 82-year old Moore – have apparently been approached about appearing in the The Expendables style spy movie.

Word is Moore is game, but Connery is not interested. “I don’t think he (Connery) wants to be associated with Bond anymore,” Moore told Britain’s Sun newspaper.

We have a new child star with trouble. Jake Lloyd, who played young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (otherwise known as Star Wars IV) found himself in legal trouble this week.

Driving through Charleston South Carolina like he was Podracing on Tatooine, an officer noted he seemed to be driving erratically. Seeing the police lights behind him, Lloyd made like he was in the Boonta Eve Classic and took off. Pursuit ensued, ending only when Lloyd lost control of his podracer, er car, and crashed through a fence and into several trees.

Needless to say, Lloyd didn’t get off with a warning and was arrested on charges of reckless driving, failure to stop, resisting arrest and driving without a licence. As of this writing, he remained in custody.

Tweets from Yoko (A new Fluffernutter Feature): “Imagine letting a goldfish swim across the sky. Let it swim from the West to the East. Drink a liter of water.”

“I’m not funny, can’t sing, not much of an actor and I look like I probably smell pretty bad,” Russell Brand might well have said to the left-wing anti-democracy protestors in London Saturday. “But I still feel pretty much responsible for the voting patterns of 64-million people”

The crowd responds with a roar and a chant of “stick it to the rich,” until someone notices the obvious. “Hey,” he yells, pointing at Brand, “he’s rich.”

“I’ve got a stick,” yells another,

“So do I,” yells another. And so did they all. So it came to pass the Russell Brand ran form the stage, angrily pursued by the only group on earth truly stupid enough to care who Russell Brand is or what he says.

note: the above is, as Hollywood says, “based on an historical event.” If you want to see the most heartwarming video you will ever see, the YouTube video of Brand being chased away by his people, the anti-austerity protestors in London last week will restore your faith in humanity.

Rapper Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, El Puffaroo has been arrested for a kettle-ball assault in Los Angeles.

Polkaroo, whose real name is Sean Combs (we think) was arrested at UCLA’s training complex for suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, the deadly weapon being the kettle-ball. P. Diddly-Doo’s son, Justin Combs is a defensive back for UCLA’s football team, who have been working out at the facility.

No word on the identity of the victim, or motive for the assault, however the betting board here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters is that someone mistook Combs for H.R. Puffinstuff.

for certified professional guitar repair in Cambridge Ontario: Brian Gardiner Guitar Repair

Bond James Bond, Celebrities, Fluffernutter, Tweets From Yoko Jake Lloyd, James Bond, Pierce Bronson, Puff Daddy, Roger Lazenby, Roger Moore, Russell Brand, Sean Connery, Star Wars, The Phantom Menace, Timothy Dalton, Yoko One

Lori Loughlin is no thespian of great note. Her one claim to fame, John Stamos wife Rebecca on Full House, places her as a pretty face on the diabetics nightmare of 1980’s television. But Lori Loughlin is not just a pretty face, she may be the prettiest face to emanate from the strange glowing box in my living room.

Here at At Home in Hespeler, I celebrate the beauty of the female, and Lori Loughlin is at the apex of that list.

Happy 45th birthday Lori Loughlin; still gorgeous after all these years.

Birthday Wishes, Celebrities 1980's, female beauty, Full House, John Stamos, Lori Loughlin

Incredulous. That’s the  only word I can come up with. When I say all these Michael Jackson fans are out of their skulls stupid, people accuse me of being nasty. Sorry, but this is out of her skull stupid:

Ashley: “I have a theory about Sarah Palin… I think maybe she did something to Michael Jackson, maybe there’s a scandal there. She’s stepping down because somethings about to come out.”
Al Sharpton: “Alright, then thank-you for your call. Ashley, that’s interesting… we’ll see.”

No, these people are all sane and normal. Lord love a duck.

h/t Small Dead Animals

Celebrities Al Sharpton, Michael Jackson fans, Sarah Palin, YouTube

Mark Steyn’s latest Maclean’s piece is about rocker Bono and his band U2’s decision to relocate business interests in the Netherlands.:

After playing the Obama inauguration a couple of months back, the pop star Bono flew back home to a rare barrage of hostile headlines. As you know, the global do-gooder wants us to send more of our money to Africa. So why is he sending his money to the Netherlands? From the Irish Times:

“Bono ‘Hurt’ By Criticism Of U2 Move To Netherlands To Cut Tax.”

As Steyn actually notes, U2 “… moved to the Netherlands a couple of years back, about 17 nanoseconds after the Irish finance minister removed the tax exemption on “artistic” income above 250,000 euros.” However, It’s only in the last few weeks that charities and NGOs and “justice groups” have decided to make an example of the unfortunate warbler.”

It’s only a story now, a couple of years later? Well everybody jump on my back, because I did this story back in the fall of 2006:

Gobsheit!

It’s an Irish term. Roughly translated gob means pile and sheit means excrement. As in you Pile of Sh*t. In common usage, it is preceded by the adjective fockin’. eg. “What are you doing with my wife, you fockin’ gobsheit?”

Which brings me to Bono, and his band of sullen men, U2:

After Ireland said it would scrap a break that lets musicians and artists avoid paying taxes on royalties, Bono and his fellow U2 band members this year moved their music publishing company to the Netherlands.

This would be the same Bono, of the same U2 that came to Canada to scold the Canadian government for not doing enough. Remember he was going to be Martin’s “biggest pain in the ass” if he didn’t follow through on his commitments.

The Dublin group, which Forbes estimates earned $110 million in 2005, will pay about 5% tax on their royalties, less than half the Irish rate.

The move is explained by U2 guitarist David Evans (The Edge) as a strictly business move:

“Our business is a very complex business,” Evans said Oct. 2 on the Dublin radio station Newstalk, breaking the band’s silence after weeks of public criticism. “Of course we’re trying to be tax-efficient. Who doesn’t want to be tax-efficient?”

Exactly! Tax efficient. That’s what I want to be too, except when I try, or when governments try on my behalf, busy body know it alls like Bono show up and spend the money on their own pet projects. They are, to paraphrase Mr. Evans, awfully tax efficient with my tax dollars.

I liked this line, however, from Jill Cassidy, presumably an ordinary citizen of Dublin:

“Among the wealthiest people, I suppose it’s the norm. In U2’s position, it does come across as quite hypocritical.”

Hypocritical indeed. Now, what was that poetic little Irish term?

Celebrities, Mark Steyn, The Media Following My Lead. Ireland, Irish Times, Maclean's, Mark Steyn, Netherlands, U2

The somewhat customary July hiatus is over and I emerge from my holiday slumber to head back into work on Monday (no long weekend for us autoworkers: we negotiated away this long weekend years ago). With my return to work, I will also return to blogging.

In December 2006 this blog was a rocking place, with often multiple daily posts on a variety of subjects. Some problems with the “new blogger” crashed the site for weeks in January 2007, and I lost my rhythm. The blog posting has decreased materially ever since. That needs to stop, and stop it will. August will be spent getting my groove back, and September, with the return to complete normalcy, I will blog far more regularly than I do now. I fully expect an election this fall, so it’s a good time to get it rolling again, as Stephen Harper clearly will need me if he is to win again.

Meanwhile, to help wile away your Saturday with a smile here’s an old Newsweek cover I found from March 21, 1966.

That pretty young teenager on the back of the motorcycle? Jan Smithers, the ever cute Bailey Quarters from WKRP in Cincinnati.

Blog Administration, Celebrities

All the weeks Fluff stories about all those Hollywood nuts.

The clever, and funny, Get Smart trounced Mike Myers awful looking Love Guru at the box office this past weekend, proving funny can work. Smart was clever, living in the past by paying homage to the original TV show, and the present with a witty script and good actors nailing their roles. Love Guru features a double neck sitar for laughs, and the Toronto Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup, in case you thought it was a documentary.

The weekly Led Zeppelin update, courtesy of Ramble On: The Who had a song called Dr. Jimmy, with some ever so wonderful lyrics:

What is it? I’ll take it.
Who is she? I’ll rape it.
Got a bet there? I’ll meet it.
Getting High? You can’t beat it.

Doctor Jimmy and mister Jim
When I’m pilled you don’t notice him,
He only comes out when I drink my gin.

I can’t help thinking of that song today after hearing that Jimmy Page will now be Dr. Jimmy:

The University of Surrey is proud to confer the honorary degree of Doctor of the University to Jimmy Page for services to the music industry.

Congratulations Dr. Pagey.

Prediction time: Warning: Possible Spoiler.

Hells Kitchen is down to the final contestants, Christina and Petroza.Warning: Possible Spoiler.

Although the internet buzz is that Christina won and is already at work at the London West Hollywood, my read of the show is that under the radar Petroza has never been made to look bad, and is this pages choice to take home the prize: Executive Chef at Ramsey’s new, above mentioned London West Hollywood restaurant.

George Carlin (1937 – 2008). George Carlin was my introduction to comedy. My brother had Toledo Window Box and we used to listen to it continuously. Being a kid I got great pleasure from the snot and fart jokes. As I grew older and heard more comedians, Carlin was still always a favourite. His ability to take a simple word and turn it and twist it until you understood every nuance of it was amazing, and for a word guy like me pure genius. Funny too. While his 60’s and 70’s stuff is the legendary work, his 1986 album Playin’ With Your Head has always been my favourite.

For Canadian content, one of my favourite scenes from his 1994 TV show was the guys in the bar betting on the curling, arguing over whether Moose Jaw or Yellowknife would win.

Whatever you think of Carlin’s views, and he was certainly controversial, he was an original thinker and the words comic genius don’t seem to be hyperbole.

Celebrities, cookin' with Ramsey, Fluffernutter, The Mighty Zep

via NY POST:

SUSAN SARANDON, who appeared in three films last year and won kudos for her TV movie “Bernard and Doris,” is still not a contented soul. She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, “It’s a critical time, but I have faith in the American people.”

Ms. Sarandon. Loved you in Bull Durham. Really, it’s a great movie and you were pretty good back then. However, we really have enough leftist blow hards here, so if you are, unlike Alec Baldwin, serious, please choose Italy.

Celebrities

Condolences to uber-chef/potty mouth Gordon Ramsey, who got his right testicle burned in a cooking accident. His reaction? “F**k me, bollocks to that.” Seems kind of tame. He has said worse than that to wannabe-chefs who undercook the risotto. Word is The Savoy Grill is going to start serving a drink called the flaming testicle.

Disney’s High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens, who is hotter than Gordon Ramsey’s right testicle, has had a nude picture (no, that’s not a link to the picture) leaked onto the internet. Normally not a big deal when you are an 18 year old actress, and maybe even a plus if you feel you need the publicity. But Vanessa works for family friendly Disney, who can’t be happy today.

It’s shaping up to be a good fall rock and roll season with a Bruce Springsteen CD, the first all new Eagles CD since The Long Run, a Robert Plant/Alison Krauss CD, and the Foo Fighters, Matchbox Twenty and James Blunt offering new CDs. As well, there is a Zeppelin Box set, Mothership, a Paul McCartney retrospective, and live albums by Elton John and Jimmy Buffet. Finally, Led Zeppelin is re-releasing The Song Remains the Same DVD, with the complete set from the ’73 Madison Square Garden shows. Add in a Springsteen/E Street Band tour, and a long rumoured Zeppelin reunion, and the next six months my motto may well be “poor but happy.”

If Zeppelin is going to reunite, they probably better step it up and get on with it. According to researchers at Liverpool John Moores University rock stars are “more than twice as likely to die a premature death as ordinary citizens of the same age.” While I can’t imagine why this would be, those Zeppelin boys aren’t getting any younger.

I’m not sure what I could possibly add than hasn’t already been said, and said better, but farewell to Luciano Pavarotti, who passed this week of pancreatic cancer at the age of 71.

Celebrities, Fluffernutter

From the Desk of Farley Mowat
Dear Green Party Friend:

Eighty-six years as participant and observer have convinced me we are facing an ecological and environmental crisis that could precipitate the greatest die-off in the history of our planet.

The current situation is so ominous and the potential for disaster so diverse and imminent as to threaten not just human life but all of animate creation. If this sounds like Chicken Little, it is because this time the sky truly may be falling.

The unwillingness of the powers-that-be to accept the scope and urgency of the threat convinces me that the cement-heads who currently control our destiny are incapable of responding to the approaching tornado. They will remain engrossed in their own self-interests, trusting that a consortium of super-science, technology, and the Entrepreneurial Gods will see them safely into Heaven on Earth.

I don’t believe it will. Which is why I am now giving my support to the Green Party, the only political entity demonstrating a real and potential effective concern for the planet and its myriad inhabitants.

All of its inhabitants!

For it is not just we human beings who are at risk. We are all in the same crucible together – and the temperature is rising rapidly, both figuratively and actually.

The Green Party, led by Elizabeth May, is the one political party clearly committed to averting the catastrophic consequences of our continuing to treat the Earth as mere dirt beneath our feet, so it is imperative that we elect Green Party members to our next parliament. This cannot happen without a lot of help from a lot of us.

The Harper Conservatives boast of their war chest of $15 million, and their War Room from which they will send out their Attack Ads and fire their Media Barrages. The Green Party and its leader, Elizabeth May, have only the Green Hope Chest, which at the moment is virtually empty. Nevertheless, they are promising a peaceable campaign focused on the survival of a peaceable kingdom.

I very much want them to succeed and I hope you do too, so I invite you to join me in making it financially possible for the Greens to vanquish the vandals and thereby help re-establish a viable future for life on Earth.

Farley Mowat

To all those people who think Green is a good alternative place to put your vote: do you really still think so?

Crossposted from Let Freedom Reign

Celebrities, Elizabeth May, Global Warming, Going... Going... Gone Nuts For The Environment

Some time ago, New Zealand was looking at impose content requirements on its broadcasters:

…whether or not New Zealand should impose local content requirements on its broadcasters. Advocates were pushing for a legislated requirement that radio and television stations play a certain amount of content created by New Zealand artists and producers. Such measures, it was argued, would help preserve the cultural specificity of the land of the long white cloud.

Economist Martin Richardson looked at other countries who had done so, very specifically Canada. He examined the CRTC’s 35% rule, which states that “all radio stations must ensure that 35% of their popular musical selections are Canadian each week.”

Many people, of course, point to Celine Dion, Shania Twian or Nickelback as success stories from the 35% content rule, Richardson sees them as the failure of the rule:

“If you listen to people like Celine Dion, Shania Twain, or Avril Lavigne, they are Canadian, they get played – or, at least, used to get played – preferentially on Canadian radio stations, but they sound generically international,” Richardson says. “There is nothing distinctively Canadian about them at all, as opposed to some of their predecessors. Why? Once you have a cultural quota in place, you are forcing consumers to listen to more local content. Let’s assume that consumers have a preference for more international-type content. The obvious incentive is for local artists to start producing international music. The whole point of this is to preserve the local content, but actually by putting a restriction in place, you give local providers a very strong incentive to actually change their style and sound much more international.”

What you get, in other words, is Canadians that don’t sound Canadian. You gain the performer, but lose the uniquely Canadian voice. This article is a good read if you are interested in Canadian cultural issues.

Oh, and New Zealand? “Eventually the country’s broadcasters agreed to voluntary local content targets.”

Canadian Content, Celebrities, pimply minions of bureaucracy, Rockin' and Rollin' and Never Forgettin'

All the Fluffy news about the worlds biggest nuts.

Nicole Richie celebrated Memorial Day with a party, the invitation to which read:

My fellow Americans its that time of year

To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer

Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream

Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems

Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans

Even though we have no f***** clue what Memorial Day really means!! Mashas House Sunday May 28th, at 2pm XXXXX Crest Court Beverly Hills, Ca 90210 There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!! PLEASE MAKE SURE TO RSVP AS THIS IS A LARGE PARTY AND WE NEED TO KEEP TRACK OF WHO’S COMING. Thanks

Slutty Clothes on women that are too skinny – nice. Good thing they have brains.

Lindsay Lohan got herself an impaired driving charge, anda substance said to be cocaine was found in her car. One presumes she will get the Parisian treatment, and be banished to some jail time. Or is there a different standard for celebrities that have earned their fame, and actually have an identifiable talent?

Since the accident, Lohan has checked into rehab – again – and friends(?) have suggested she’s suicidal.

Not to be outdone, Britney Spears spent Memorial Day eve, drinking her skanky ass off. She was spotted puking in the men’s bathroom of the exclusive Sky Bar in Los Angeles. Whether the puking was before, or after, her supposed bathroom tryst with Ryan Phillippe is unknown.

While Britney pukes, A-Rod paints Toronto red. The married Yankee star, who’s team is in last place of the American League East, was spotted hitting a strip club with a buxom blond. He later stayed at a different hotel as his team, but not, it is assumed, as the blond.

The Police began their long anticipated reunion tour in Vancouver this week. Reviews have been, frankly, luke-warm, but it’s hard to imagine how a concert that begins with Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland playing Message in a Bottle could be bad. In fact, I have heard a bootleg of the concert, and it sounded pretty good.

As an aside to Police fans, if you haven’t already, read Andy Summers Autobiography One Train Later. It’s one of the best Autobiography’s I have ever read.

Charles Nelson Reilly, the Match Game’s answer to Hollywood Squares Paul Lynde, has died at the age of 76. Reilly, like Lynde and The Gong Show’s Jaye P. Morgan, became more famous for his role on the game show than for his work that got him a job as a ‘celebrity’ on that game show. In Reilly’s case, he was a Broadway actor, acting teacher and director of note prior to his job on The Match Game.

Celebrities, Fluffernutter, Paris, Rockin' and Rollin' and Never Forgettin', Toronto

Some have called this dangerous; some have been found to be suicidal after watching. I just laughed till I – well none of your business what happened next – but be forewarned. If you have a delicate nature, this could be dangerous for you: Celine Dion and Anastasia singing AC/DC’s You Shook Me (All Night Long)

And this is how it should sound. Interesting that AC?DC sings “knocked me out with those Canadian thighs”, and the Canadian sings “American thighs.”

From the ridiculous, to the sublime. Mick Jagger, according to director Julien Temple, wrapped a bamboo cage full of bees around his… his… um… weapon of choice, so that the bees would sting it and it would swell up, thus becoming, well… swell. Apparently the Jagger family jewel is in the one or two carat range. The thing is, if “You’re so vein” Mick Jagger, who is reputed to have bed thousands, is not satisfied with his, what chance do the rest of have to be satisfied with ours?

It’s an interesting week when suddenly Kieth Richards isn’t the weird one in the band.

John Wayne was born 100 years ago last weekend. Happy Birthday Duke. (Wonder if the Duke ever questioned his manhood?)

I love this story. Italian consumer groups are pissed at Barbara Streisand because of her ticket prices. In other words the socialists are upset that very vocal socialist Barbara is acting like a capitalist.

Kiera Knightly won a libel suit against British tabloid The Daily Mail about a story that suggested she was to blame for the death of an anorexic teenager and that she had an eating disorder.

Which is nice because it gives me a chance to post a picture of the very nice Ms. Knightly.

Rosie O’Donnell has left the building, and she’s taking a beating even from what should be sympathetic observers, like the Huffington Post:

Bullies never like it when the tables are turned, and Rosie was no different…

This fight was not about the war in Iraq (despite Joy Behar‘s best efforts) — it was 100% about Rosie’s nose being out of joint, and about her ability to dish it out but not take it…

It is ego that drove Rosie to quit three weeks before the expiration of her contract, ego that impelled her to pout in non-rhyming free verse on her blog, posting a self-pitying video and affecting a put-upon air… now she’s walking three weeks early, because she picked a fight with an easy mark — and lost? Wow. From bully to baby in 0.5 seconds… Even so, she’s a professional, or should be — and with three weeks left to go, a professional stays in the hot seat she’s been given the freedom all year to create, and sees it through…

If I could say it better myself, I would.

I was sorry to hear that Bobby Ash, better know as Uncle Bobby to kids of my generation, passed away this week in Elliot Lake, Ont. of a heart attack. He was 82. Condolences to his family and friends.

Celebrities, Cool Videos, Fluffernutter, YouTube

Paris Hilton has finally spoken about, thereby relieving us of the excruciating pain of not knowing what Mme. Hilton is thinking in this difficult time in our lives her life:

I told the truth, I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don’t deserve this.”

To be clear, what she apparently told the truth about was that “her publicist had told her she was permitted to drive for work-related reasons after the first 30 days of her license suspension late last November, and she relied on that.”

The publicist has been fired.

There’s a book out there called Invest Like Warren Buffett, Live Like Jimmy Buffett. This week, Jimmy Buffet introduced Warren Buffet at the Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting Saturday.

“Since blood is thicker than water, I’m your new chairman,” the singer, who is boycotting Canadian Seafood at his restaurants to protest the seal hunt, said.

Warner Brothers, feeling peevish about their movies hitting the internet before they hit the big screen, have cancelled preview screenings in Canada (not including media screenings). While stories focus on movies such as Oceans 13 and Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix, here’s some other movies we, thankfully, won’t be getting a preview screening of:

Nancy Drew
License to Wed
No Reservations
The Invasion
The Brave One
August Rush

Sadly Thomas Kinkade’s The Christmas Cottage, is not a Warner Brother’s movie, and thus will be previewed in Canada and will hit the internet, thereby causing plague, pestilence and ruining Christmas for everybody.

Paris Hilton’s publicist has been re-hired. Apparently he explained to her that being sentenced to a penal institution means spending a month at Ron Jeremy’s estate.

News that Michael Moore was under investigation by the Treasury Department, which sounds very serious, brought great joy to my heart. Then I discovered it’s for breaking the Cuban trade embargo and suddenly it’s the Treasury Department that looks bloated and stupid.

Rapper Akon is in hot water for a “dirty dance” he performed in concert in Trinidad on April 12th. The dance was recorded and posted on YouTube. The girl, it turns out, is only 14. Some call it dirty dancing, but what I saw was dry-humping, and I wouldn’t pay to see a singer do that to a woman of any age. I would post the video, except it is quite possibly child porn.

Some days I wake up, kneel beside my bed and THANK GOD I WASN’T BORN A RAP FAN!

Bad Movies, Celebrities, Fluffernutter, Paris, Thank God I Wasn't Born a Rap Fan

I laughed out loud when I saw today’s Toronto Sun entertainment poll:

	Who was the brightest star to ever emerge from the SNL cast? Jim Belushi Mike Myers Will Ferrell Another actor Results

Jim Belushi? Here’s a partial list, off the top of my head,of ex-Saturday Night Live cast members:

John Belushi
Dan Akroyd
Bill Murray
Adam Sandler
Martin Short
Dennis Miller
Gilda Radner
Jane Curtin
Chris Rock
Eddie Murphy
Chevy Chase
Jon Lovitz
Phil Hartman
Billy Crystal
David Spade

And lets not forget Victoria Jackson, who while admittedly never achieved Jim Belushi’s post SNL success, is way better looking.

Most of the above people could be listed as brighter stars than Jim Belushi, although it’s really irrelevant, because Mike Meyers is the hands down winner.

Celebrities, TV

… Bob Seger.

It is policy of At Home in Hespeler to celebrate milestone birthdays of performers who I feel have made my life a little better through their work. Some performers will be mentioned for birthdays that are not milestones. Such is Bob Seger.

Back on the road this year after ten years away, Seger does not get a mention here because I saw him last January, he gets a mention because his music has been some of the best out there. His show last January just re-confirmed it.

So happy birthday Bob, Rock and Roll truly has not forgotten.

Birthday Wishes, Bob Seger, Celebrities, Rockin' and Rollin' and Never Forgettin'