At Home in Hespeler

Saturday Fluffernutter: The Girls, Girls, Lindsay Lohan & Girls Edition

All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

This is news that would shock my mom: Mariah Carey is the only person ever to give birth. At least, that’s what Carey seems to believe.

I don’t think I understood the enormity and the magnitude of what it (pregnancy) really does to your body: It’s not just , “Oh, you don’t look pretty and you have a bump”…

It’s difficult to understand what I went through because my pregnancy was very unique in terms of what happened to me.

The jaw drops.

…my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I’m homeless…

Madonna’s brother, 55 year old Anthony Ciccone is homeless in Michigan, after losing his job at his father‘s winery. This, apparently, is all Madonna’s fault.

I’m no fan of Madonna, and I’m usually ready to blame her for almost any of the worlds woes, but if you can’t keep a job at your own father’s winery, if you are a 55 year old man who uses the word multibazillionaire with straight face (he also used the phrase, “a bazillion times”), maybe the problem isn’t other people.

Lets see, Mariah, Madonna… who am I missing? Ah yes, Britney.

Ticket prices for Britney Spears Femme Fatale show in Birmingham are being slashed. Originally prices at $88, they are now going for $48 on the website Groupon.com. Rumour is, over half the seats are unsold.

Says a Live Nation spokesman:

Offering a deal on Groupon is not a reflection of the quality… of the show.

No, having Britney Spears on the stage is a “reflection of the quality of the show.” All the rest is just business.

Demi Moore, trying to save her marriage to perrenial tool and man/child, emphasis on child, Ashton Kutcher, visited him on the set of Two and a Half Men last week.

Lets see, Kutcher’s accused of being a cad who bedded a nubile young woman. To help things along, Moore went to the set of his show, where he plays a cad who beds nubile young women.

I’m missing something, aren’t I?

Parole Violation, Shlamole Volation.

I guess Lindsay Lohan wasn’t just lying around awaiting judgement on her parole violation hearing, possibly heading back into custody.

Instead, she headed over to Playboy inc. to have her picture taken for the magazine. The magazine is allegedly paying Lohan $1-million for the shoot of Lohan in nothing but her… well nothing.

Meanwhile, over at FleshLight inc., makers of sex toys, they want in on the action. They are offering Lohan $1-million to launch her own line of sex toys. Included in the offer is a request to make a mold of Lohan’s – ahem – VIP room, to make an “authentic,” Lohan sex toy.

Fluffernutter, Magazine Anthony Ciccone, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears, Demi Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Playboy