Archive for the ‘sazuki-ism’ Category

What’s Next For David Suzuki?

February 11th, 2008
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To: Mortal inhabitants of Earth
From: the offices of Beezulbub, Belial, Lucifer and Apollyon
Hell inc.

The rulers of Hell are pleased to announce, in conjunction with the David Suzuki Foundation, the first expansion of the borough of Hell, and it’s surrounding environs.

Pending environmental study, hell will be increasing it’s boundary’s to include a full new, tenth level. Tentatively called Deritus, the new level will be eternal home to global warming deniers and other environmental abasers.

Deritus will be guarded by a three headed bureaucrat, Suzukibus. The three heads of Suzukibus shall be named Amplify, Apply and Abuse. Inhabitants will spend eternity in the over-heated environs of hell, where they will be continually told, “it’s not hot,” “nothing wrong with a little heat,” and “don’t worry, an ice age is just around the corner.” They will further be made to sort unrecycled garbage into recyclables (paper & plastic), compostables and landfill.

Hell inc. and The David Suzuki Foundation are excited by this opportunity to join together in meting eternal punishment to any and all who dare oppose the opinion as given to them by David Suzuki Ph.D.

Satan, Lord of the Underworld
Suzuki, lord it over you.

Global Warming, Going... Going... Gone Nuts For The Environment, sazuki-ism