Archive for the ‘Bond James Bond’ Category

Saturday Fluffernutter: The Stick it to the Rich Edition

June 27th, 2015
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorOh this is exciting. Hot off the news that Guy Ritchie is busy casting for a King Arthur movie comes word some movie execs are trying to put together a spy movie featuring all five former James Bonds.fluff_2_2008

Sean Connery (aka Sir), George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Bronson – ages ranging from 62-year old Bronson to 82-year old Moore – have apparently been approached about appearing in the The Expendables style spy movie.

Word is Moore is game, but Connery is not interested. “I don’t think he (Connery) wants to be associated with Bond anymore,” Moore told Britain’s Sun newspaper.

fluffincolorWe have a new child star with trouble. Jake Lloyd, who played young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (otherwise known as Star Wars IV) found himself in legal trouble this week.

Driving through Charleston South Carolina like he was Podracing on Tatooine, an officer noted he seemed to be driving erratically. Seeing the police lights behind him, Lloyd made like he was in the Boonta Eve Classic and took off. Pursuit ensued, ending only when Lloyd lost control of his podracer, er car, and crashed through a fence and into several trees.

Needless to say, Lloyd didn’t get off with a warning and was arrested on charges of reckless driving, failure to stop, resisting arrest and driving without a licence. As of this writing, he remained in custody.

fluffincolorTweets from Yoko (A new Fluffernutter Feature): “Imagine letting a goldfish swim across the sky. Let it swim from the West to the East. Drink a liter of water.”

fluffincolor“I’m not funny, can’t sing, not much of an actor and I look like I probably smell pretty bad,” Russell Brand might well have said to the left-wing anti-democracy protestors in London Saturday. “But I still feel pretty much responsible for the voting patterns of 64-million people”

The crowd responds with a roar and a chant of “stick it to the rich,” until someone notices the obvious. “Hey,” he yells, pointing at Brand, “he’s rich.”

“I’ve got a stick,” yells another,

“So do I,” yells another. And so did they all. So it came to pass the Russell Brand ran form the stage, angrily pursued by the only group on earth truly stupid enough to care who Russell Brand is or what he says.

note: the above is, as Hollywood says, “based on an historical event.” If you want to see the most heartwarming video you will ever see, the YouTube video of Brand being chased away by his people, the anti-austerity protestors in London last week will restore your faith in humanity.

fluffincolorRapper Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, El Puffaroo has been arrested for a kettle-ball assault in Los Angeles.

Polkaroo, whose real name is Sean Combs (we think) was arrested at UCLA’s training complex for suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, the deadly weapon being the kettle-ball. P. Diddly-Doo’s son, Justin Combs is a defensive back for UCLA’s football team, who have been working out at the facility.

No word on the identity of the victim, or motive for the assault, however the betting board here at Fluffernutter World Headquarters is that someone mistook Combs for H.R. Puffinstuff.

for certified professional guitar repair in Cambridge Ontario: Brian Gardiner Guitar Repair

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James Bond Skyfall

May 21st, 2012
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Happy 80th Birthday…

August 25th, 2010

He was the first Bond, the guy who defined the role. Tackling Dr. No, bedding Ursula Andress. That itself is enough to warrant birthday wishes.imgsean-connery5

There’s his “Chicago Way” speech, in The Untouchables:

They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way!

Birthday wishes all around for that one.

However, Sean Connery really gets 80th birthday wishes because if you have something to say that’s not really funny, but you want it to be funny, you can simply say in a Sean Connery accent. Now it’s funny!

So Happy 80th Birthday Sean Connery, because of all the laughs you got me, and all the entertainment you’ve given me.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: Bond, Brett, Bullock and Some Ash Holes.

April 24th, 2010
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All the fluffy news about those nutty celebrities

fluffincolorThe latest entry into the Bond fare, Cry Like a Baby starring Daniel Craig has been put on hold due to financial disaster at parent company MGM. fluffernutter-2

MGM studios is for sale, and with a $3.7B debt, unable to continue as is. This has caused EON Productions, which make the Bond movies, to halt “indefinitely” the making of the next Bond film, tentatively called Bond 23. The movie was scheduled for a 2011 or 2012 release.

fluffincolorHeadline in a newspaper this week:

European Airlines hoping for ash hole to fly through.

I can’t be the only person who thought, “finally, a natural disaster in which Sean Penn will be useful.”

fluffincolorNewsflash: Sandra Bullock this week was spotted shopping, without her wedding ring

Her husband has been caught fooling around with what might be the skankiest skank in all of skank-ville, and it’s news she isn’t wearing her wedding ring? Not in prison for killing the stupid bastard, that’s news. The wedding thing ring is up there with McDonalds makes a hamburger.

fluffincolorWhile on the subject of Sandra Bullock, she has been asked to return her Razzy for worst actress, which she good naturedly accepted the Saturday before the Oscars. The Razzy she took home was a one-off highly valuable trophy. The winners get a replica to take home, instead of the original. Bullock accidentally left with the good one, and her people offered to return it immediately upon hearing the story that she had the wrong one.

Want to know why America loves Sandra Bullock, look at how she has handled the entire Razzy award episode.

fluffincolorFormer Poison singer and current reality TV guy Brett Michaels was rushed to hospital Friday with a brain hemorrhage. Michaels is in critical condition after being rushed to the hospital with a headache. The doctors discovered bleeding at the base of the brain stem.

Michaels had an emergency appendectomy last week after complaining of stomach pains. Next week he is anticipated to have leg pains, resulting in hip replacement surgery.

Michaels is expected to make a full recovery.

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Saturday Fluffernutter: Bond Can’t Drive; Lohan Can’t Act; Aaron Shearer 1919 – 2008

April 26th, 2008
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The nutty stories from the fluffy world of celebrities.

Trouble on the James Bond “Quantum of Solace set. In the last movie, Daniel Craig’s first as the British spy, the one car chase lasts all of ten seconds before rolling. It appears the Craig/Bond hasn’t improved as a driver. This week saw two crashes on the set, the last one sending a stunt man to hospital. The first accident saw an Aston Martin DBS, the only one available for shooting, into Lake Garda in Northern Italy last Saturday.

Doesn’t “high-class call girl” imply a level of class anymore?

Since I started doing the Saturday Fluffernutter, this may be my favourite quote. Rupert Grint, who plays Harry Potter’s sidekick Ron Weasly, was allegedly discussing moving to Los Angeles, and decided he didn’t really want to as he would end up bumping into people like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan:

“I haven’t met Paris and don’t want to either. She and Lindsay are the type of girls you need to stay away from. I met Lindsay last summer and she talked about herself a lot. She said she was going to win an Oscar before she turns 25. I just kept thinking, ‘But you can’t act’.”

The pity of the thing is, it appears to not be true:

In response to articles published this week, Rupert Grint wishes it to be known that he has never met Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton and has not nor would he make any negative comment about them as has been stated. He has also never made any negative comment about Los Angeles. He will be taking action against those parties spreading these falsehoods.

He may hit like Mays and run like Hayes, but actor Wesley Snipes pays taxes like s*%t. He was sentenced to three years prison this week for failing to file a tax return between 1999 and 2001. Judge William Terrell Hodges gave snipes the maximum sentence saying it was important to create a deterrent.

Somehow I fail to see how society is better off with Wesley Snipes sitting in prison.

If you have ever picked up a nylon string guitar, slapped it on your riased left knee and tried to sort out the difference between apoyando and tirando, you have probably used an Aaron Shearer book: His instructional books “Classic Guitar Technique” are the most widely used in the past 40 years. Shearer, was director of the guitar program at Baltimore’s Peabody Conservatory and North Carolina School of the Arts. His former students include some of the finest guitarists in the world today, including Manuel Barrueco, David Tanenbaum, and David Starobin. This past Monday Aaron Shearer passed away, aged 88.

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Happy 40th Birthday…

March 2nd, 2008

He is way down my list of Bond’s, although with only one movie below his belt he could well improve. However, he did get his giblets whipped and laugh about it, and that chase scene at the begging of Casino Royale is a classic.

But none of that is necessary. Here at Home in Hespeler, if you played James Bond and you have a birthday with a 0 or 5 in it, we offer the doffed chapeau.

Happy 40th birthday Daniel Craig. May your Bond learn the value of humour in your 40th year.

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Happy 80th birthday…

October 14th, 2007

… Roger Moore.

Most don’t consider him the best Bond, and based on his later movies that’s fair play. But he was James Bond longer than anyone else, and made more official Bond movies (seven) than any other actor. Besides, Live and Let Die is one of the best Bond movies, with my favourite chase scene in movie-dom (the boat chase through the bayous of Louisiana).

At Home in Hespeler wishes a Birthday, Happy Birthday to Roger Moore.

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